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28 - Up around 7:30am. 12C in, 2C out. Grey and breezy again. . walked FGn just a little early and got back in time to have a listen for the space station contacting the school in Greece at 09:42hrs. I needn't have bothered. I didn't realise it until checking the maps and such, but the pass was WELL south and out of range of the UK. Audible over Europe yes - but not quite this far north and west. A wasted effort . .PCd a bit of this . . poked at e-bay listings and 'just' then, within the next 60 seconds, a listing for a potentially 'iffy' ('screw missing'!) antenna switch was about to end with a currently very low bid. Immediately 'impulse bid' a few pounds and damned if I didn't win it - for £6.70 (including the £4.50 ! postage). Bit of a risk, but for that price worth a go I thought. Unless it's TOTAL rubbish and the actual switch inside is totally shot, it 'should' be salvageable for use on a part of my dedicated receive setup at least. (I wouldn't necessarily risk it on the transmitter side of things of course! Because of the unique way I simultaneously monitor all sorts of stuff, and occasionally want to switch between antennas/feeds etc, I HAVE even considered at some point 'maybe' thinking about trying to design and knock up my own unique switch box to suite. Having a 'cheap' switcher like that to potentially 'butcher' is no bad thing.) Fingers crossed on that one. . .did a large load of laundry (worrying about the dieing machine of course - but it made it through again) and got it all out on the line to dry. . did dish washing chores with the back door open. . raced out and retrieved the soaking wet laundry as a wintery sleety shower (<4C) arrived early afternoon. . Mum called to complain about how she'd just phoned up and tried to transfer some money into Sis1s account like usual (for a family birthday present), only to be told she couldn't without knowing the recipients sort code or some such nonsense. The call handler had alleged she simply couldn't and should never have been able to do it, without. She only did a similar transfer a couple of weeks back - did loads to various accounts around christmas - done similar for decades - never had any problems. Smacked to ME of a typical person on the phone not knowing what the hell they were talking about! I told Mum to ring up and try and do it again like normal, WITHOUT mentioning the earlier call - but to be all ready to get stroppy if there was a problem, and NOT simply 'take it'. She did so, and the person she then got just went straight ahead and did it like normal without any hassle! Fffing useless '?ankers'! (- insert the letter of your choice there!). . .I am fully embarassed to admit this - but after agonising over it for AGES (and running the risk of someone else buying it - like I've had happen MANY times with desirable things), I went ahead and gambled (substantialy) on ANOTHER e-bay purchase!!! I MUST be mad!!! It's just BOUND to go horribly wrong in some way! Nevertheless, I did a 'buy-it-now' on a Moonraker SQBM1000 tri-band antenna for £55.30 inc postage!!!!!!!! I've long wanted (and planned to buy eventually) one more 'white stick' type antenna to put up somewhere (probably on top of the old washing line pole on the back of the house) to enable me to have a dedicated antenna for each of my transmitting radios (without having the danger of forgetting to switch in an antenna etc - and enabling me to run them all at once of course!). Outrageously 'decadent' - but it's what my 'evolved master plan' has identified as fully desireable. IF it's ok, it IS a substantial saving on the price they are new. God I feel so, SO guilty having gone for that and thrown (away?) YET more money at all this radio nonsense!!!! All my ebay sales money sat in paypal 'burning a hole in my pocket'?! More IS going to go pretty soon on ANOTHER reel of expensive coax, some plugs and sockets and maybe even some more T&K brackets for outside!! :'o( It 'may' appear a never-ending money-pit (which it IS!!!!!) but I CAN see an end to it all in distant sight - and I DO still have some stuff to sell to help offset the expense. I've tried to justify to myself spending all this money along the lines of - well - it IS ALL I do isn't it? I don't 'go out', or 'do' anything, or spend money on much of ANYTHING else which isn't a necessity. This radio thing is ALL I do! I HAVE to go for it!!! <guilt/regret/guilt> :o( . . walked away from the PC/radios and sat around feeling oh SO uptight and agonising over the money I'd just spent (despite my better judgemment) - again - and ended up feeling pretty down about - everything! . . ate a six pieces of bread and butter pile of ham sandwiches, crisps and chocolate . . . napped until the alarm at 6:30pm but trouble waking again, repeatedly automatically hitting out at the ten minutes snooze button on the alarm! . . .TVd . . radiod locally for a bit - when called! . . TVd and played with and groomed Bella loads . . .cooked two slices of bacon, two eggs and mushrooms, and ate with four pieces of bread and butter around 1am . . drank a small shot glass of Baileys. . . to bed somewhere after 2am.
27 - Up around 8:30am. 12C in, 4C out. Grey, breezy and a hint of drizzle in the air. . . walked chilly, breezy FGn and back via the store for a few supplies . . messed around in the garden and cut back some of the unsightly dead and dieing mess which now lines the back of half of my pergola thanks to next doors thoughtlessness! Also cleared much of the mess and debris laying all around on the floor, and then cut it all up into 'manageable' pieces before filling a few carrier bags and then 'hiding' them in the wheelie bin for tomorrows collection. . . vaccuumed . . . PCd/monitored radios. Somehow ended up chatting locally on 70cms for quite a while! . . searched for the 'issue' I'm having with HRD and my 897, and found EXACTLY 'it' mentioned on some forum or other. Apparantly it's an 'issue' common with all Yaesu radios - so - not actually a 'fault' and nothing I can do about it. How bloody frustrating is that! :o( ALWAYS 'something' to stop me achieving what I aim for with these damn radios! :o( . . . walked FGn in the still cold stiff breeze and then got back in time to have a hot shower before listening-in on the local club net for a bit (zzzzz lol) . . PCd and had a trawl through e-bay adverts and couldn't resist a private seller's buy-it-now for 'Flex Weave steel wire clear plastic coated 49 metres continuous length' for £17.65 inc postage. I'm assuming that is pretty much the same as what I've used for my current wire antennas - and IS cheaper than I've previously paid. At some point in the future I have every intention of trying to improve on what I've got (especially the temporary 'left overs' short one I currently have connected to the PCR1000, only reaching down to the end of the pergola), so figured that was a reasonable modest investment. . . . TVd . . cooked and ate four quarter pound burgers in buttered bread rolls . . .to bed around 2am. It would appear the 'leaky head' skin infection thing above the top of my kneck on the back of my head has returned with a vengeance (albeit in a 'slightly' different area to before)!!? That's real bad news. :o(
26 - Up around 8:30am. 12C in, 4C out. Grey and breezy. More upsetting commenting 'activity' on the seagull video. Commentors just being ugly towards others, wishing for their deaths etc!!!???? :o( The 'visualbeginnings' person had also replied to ME:- "Hi T Why did you not chase it off before it when too far? You obviously could see what was going to happen? OR you could have tastefully edited as as you believed the BBC would do. You have offended thousands of people worldwide, if that was your intent well done! As for my offensive comment, if you think that is offensive I find it impossible to imagine what you think of the ones that even to me are offensive, mine is not IMHBO offensive Karma, what goes around comes around. Imagine for a moment you lying on the ground suffering a heat attack & the bystanders whip out their phones & start videoing the event thinking to themselves how many hits will this get on you-tube. It's just I find it tasteless & offensive & would like you to think twice before you do it again. D" I must confess, after having had a look through their website and at streetview where they live etc, I hadn't expected that. I HAD credited them with more intelligence and understanding. That's why I chose to reply to THEM. I shall of course refrain from replying further, since their minds are obviously sadly fixed and closed, and they don't 'get it' at all and surely never will. How much better the world would be if I hadn't filmed it and uploaded it to youtube. Idiots - idiots ALL! :o( . . . walked BGdns a bit late. Wow - the wind was blowing cold and strong, straight in down there!! Kinda East South East, (33mph gusts apparantly) and making the sea quite boisterous too. Boisterous enough to actually pull my camcorder out of my pocket for the first time in ages, and have a poke at a trawler going out to sea with waves breaking over its bow, etc. Spectacular, but I've seen and filmed much worse, so no point in doing anything with the snip. Just another one for the delete button. . eventually back home to recover with a coffee in front the TV and fire for a bit. Ended up racing up onto the radios when the scanner unusually suddenly began picking up a cracking big signal on the ISS downlink frequency (145.800Mhz). The 'drifting' signal strength indicated it likely actually WAS from something in orbit, although it was just a dead carrier. Fired up the PC as quick as I could, and quickly checked relevant websites and the HRD Satellite tracker software, and confirmed that the space station was indeed doing a 'close' pass at that very moment. WHAT a shame they weren't actually talking or calling CQ or anything of the like. The dead carrier signal continued throughout the remaining duration of their receivable pass, and even remained at full-scale on my S meter for a large part of that time. One of the best signals I've EVER had from them! Wonder what that was all about? There IS a contact planned for them with a school in Greece at 09:42UTC on Thursday 28th which should be directly audible here (and all over Europe), so maybe they were 'setting-up' or some such? Intriguing. (Even more intriguing when I heard exactly the same thing again during a later pass!!????). . yayy - around 11:45am the postman delivered the FT-897 programming cable I'd ordered from Hong Kong. Ooooh, oooh! So - guess what I'll be doing for the next few hours! Fingers crossed. . .well, it didn't take more than a few minutes to figure out I had a problem with the 3" miniature disc they'd included with the USB drivers on! Damn thing wouldn't read at all. Not a 'major' problem because the cable turned out to be exactly what I was after, and I already have the drivers loaded for the one I have, so I WAS able to just use the new end bit for attaching the 897 to the existing 'always attached' cable. So - as I'd hoped/planned, I have essentially one USB cable with all the interchangeable ends for programming ALL the different radios I have - WITHOUT having to mess around with plugging in different USB sockets and assigning different com ports and baud rates every time I want to do a tweak of the programming of a different radio. As I'd hoped, it ALSO enables me to 'CAT' (control with the PC) the FT-897. The BAD news was that the Ham Radio Deluxe software with its slider tuning controls doesn't seem capable of giving a smooth tune up and down the bands using the FT-897!!!???? It works perfectly and seemlessly with the PCR1000, but when you try to do the same thing with the 897, it seems to temporarily mute the signal/audio with each step. SO much so, if you just keep pushing the slider with the mouse to do a huge sweep up or down the band, it'll actually pretty much just mute the audio!!!!??? . messed around for AGES trying all manner of different baud rates and the like, but nothing made any difference at all to the irritating 'issue'. Tune the radio manually and its fine. VERY weird and - well - it must be said, HUGELY disappointing. :o( . . . drank a glass of red wine. Ate a six pieces of bread and butter pile of ham sandwiches, crisps and a little chocolate. . napped until the alarm at 6:30pm (didn't have a clue what time of day it was!!!!) and had real trouble waking! . . TVd for an hour or two before then spending the whole rest of the night until early, back up on the PC/radios tuning around. Suprised me loads that HRD could control both the PCR1000 and the FT-897 simultaneously - although because of the 'issue' with the 897 tuning, the PCR actually turned out to be the radio of choice! Spent 'most' of the time searching for morse code transmissions to try to decode. SUCH a shame I live down in this 'black hole' and can't hear much. Bumped into some old guy over Paignton way doing some morse on 80mtrs somewhere before midnight, but I could only 'just' hear him for goodness sake! (He WAS sending pretty slow, so I WAS 'more or less' able to decode what he was sending which made a nice change.) The hill behind me seems to effectively block ALL signals from the west - which of course means even the Americas are seldom heard! I hear all manner of stations in QSO with stations from the States, but I can't hear a peep from them! So frustrating. :o( . . . ate a banana then three boiled eggs with two crusts of bread and butter . . TVd a bit until to bed around 3am.
25 - Up around 8:20am after almost no decent sleep at all. :o( 12C in, 2C out. Grey and breezy. . . walked FGn in the strong cold northerlyish breeze and sat around playing ball for as long as I could stand. A class load of the little 'munchkins' from the nearby school were all out dressed in high visibility waistcoats accompanied by a couple of teachers/assistants, apparantly 'surveying' the plants and foliage - and I think even heading on to BGdns! They seem to go out on those local 'field trips' pretty often. I don't recall EVER doing any such thing when I was that age (although admittedly can't recall ANY of it anyway!). It does strike me as a pretty amazing place to be a kid growing up. . put Bella on her lead just to be safe as they all milled past. I needn't have bothered - she took it all in her stride. . eventually back with a couple of ice cold stones for the garden . . TVd recovering from the walk feeling woozy, headachey and really rather exhausted by feeling SO cold ALL the time! . . . pottered around for a bit dismantling some electrical components from one of the 'box of toss' things I couldn't sell on e-bay, and put the remainder straight into the wheely bin. .sorted out a few books I've been hanging onto for years, for eventually donating to a charity shop. . . PCd and would you believe it - yet another deliberately hurtful 'shoot the messenger' type comment on the seagull video!? "visualbeginnings (http://www.visualbeginnings.com.au/) has made a comment on Seagull Eating A Plastic Bag. One very sick dudekarma dude karma." Weird how it seems to go in 'spurts'. Ironic too that they chose to talk about karma. In sorting out the few books to donate to charity shortly before, I STILL couldn't 'quite' bring myself to get rid of the little pile of Buddhist, meditation, mindfulness, etc type books I've still got. (Carl Sagan's 'The Demon Haunted World' I really MUST re-read some time - soon!) I have of course 'moved on' and consider myself to have gained a more intelligent and accurate (science/'proof' based) understanding of 'reality' - but I still have a VERY soft spot for the teachings, and position on 'suffering', etc. With regard to 'karma' - if I were still to be naive enough to believe in such things, then boy - look at this life, I must have done something truly awful in a previous incarnation ? . I couldn't help myself (again!!?????) - I messaged them, pretty much copying the one I did yesterday with pointers to journal entries!! How strong are the windows in THEIR 'glass house', and how closed THEIR minds I wonder? . . . PCd this - just wasting away YET another day, until such time as I 'allow' myself to withdraw back to the warmth of my duvets! :o( (Worthy of note perhaps - in my uncontrollable moments of 'S ideation', it HAS now occurred to me I could deliberately block the chimney in the living room - and disconnect the battery in Mums carbon monoxide detector! lol That'd be even comfier than the car! lololololololol) . . .ate a couple of tuna and mayo finger rolls, crisps and some chocolate biscuits . .napped. . woken just before the 6:30pm alarm (feeling lousy) by the ansaphone taking a call from a local PCSO leaving a message about possibly coming to pick up the knife!?! . phoned the police guy back and pretty quickly got the impression they didn't really want it for any particular reason, and were just going through the motions on a 'found property' basis for MY benefit. It was agreed I'd just hang onto it/add it to my cutlery drawer, and they needn't bother. Funny old world ain't it . . Mum called to touch base and say how the local news earlier had done a ten minute long segment all about carbon monoxide poisoning, etc. lol She also remarked on how there had been a power cut for a time earlier. I hadn't noticed but yes, there apparantly had been. The flashing clocks on the oven and microwave need resetting - again. . . TVd very breifly - just enough to establish that once again, there was absolutely NOTHING on worth watching ALL evening! . . put in several hours on the radios (the PCR1000, controlled by HRD mostly - but also a bit on the FT897) just randomly hopping and tuning around the bands and having a listen to nothing much, while trying to become more familiar with what does what on the radios and the software for best receive results, etc. Despite its drawbacks, that PCR1000 really is a suprisingly nice 'toy' to play with, for just poking around ALL the bands at the click of a mouse via the PC. I don't regret the £150 I paid for it, AT ALL - which makes a refreshing change! . .something I've noticed quite a bit of late, is an occasional high level intermittent signal appearing on the marine calling channel (16). The more I hear it, (because of the high signal level) the more I have a suspicion that the coastguard actually have a fault in one of their radios somewhere!!!? . . PCd a bit of this . . TVd . . ate a microwave shepherds pie with two crusts of bread and butter followed by a little chocolate . . to bed around 3am. Did that power cut earlier mess up the timers on the street lights I wonder? They were still on around the time I went to bed, instead of turned off like they usually do around 2am these days.
24 - Up around 7:20am. 12C in, 1C out. Grey. . .woke at the PC as usual. Yet another start to a day by being notified of ('abusive') comments left on one of my youtube videos. The 'seagull eating a plastic bag' one again. I DO try NOT to let it get to me - but it pretty much always does. It ISN'T a good way to start the day - being notified of comments like these:- astridkitty1212 has made a comment on Seagull Eating A Plastic Bag : Fuck the stupid cameraman for letting this poor bird slowly suffocate! We all KNOW this shit happens because of stupid plastic - he needed to SAVE this bird! I hope he ends up choking on his food as karmic punishment :p
Nathaliaaa666 has made a comment on Seagull Eating A Plastic Bag : nasty piece of trash posting this on YT only 2 get views? what a fucking sad world we live in what comes around goes around some ppl have no soul=( Those were comments directed at me. There were ALSO a couple posted against other peoples comments thus:- Nathaliaaa666 has replied to a comment // if u die even better. Nathaliaaa666 has replied to a comment //i hope u die soon what a sad world we live in=( I know I shouldn't be, but I can't help it. I AM absolutely 'wide open' to suffering hurt from such comments. Pathetic ain't I! :o( . . walked Fgn in the cold wind - although largely locked in my mind, desperately wanting to be able to defend myself from irrelevant, ignorant, hypocritical, judgemental idiots! :o( . . Got chatting to a dog walker woman (the one who'd 'hugged' me on my birthday!), and was intrigued to learn that she is on anti depressants and has 'issues' - some of which were VERY familiar to me. WHAT a small world with SO many people having 'difficulties' with how the modern world would have us live. (I've spoken to ANOTHER dog walker up there who is ALSO on anti depressants!!! No wonder (according to the results of recently published research) the fish in the rivers (and the sea surely?) are all being affected by related excreted chemicals! Embarassingly, I got another hug as she carried on her way!!! (She MUST be on drugs! lolol) . . . PCd . Oh wow - I didn't expect that - I got a reply to my 'bounced' (or NOT as it turns out) e-mail to the 'local' police about the knife. "Dear Mr Jones. I apologise that you had a long wait to report this found property. I am going through our email inbox and have just seen your previous message regarding the find. I had therefore allocated it to PCSO **** ****, who is on duty tomorrow, to make contact with you to arrange to collect it just in case it has been involved in an offence. However as you have now washed it any forensic evidence is likely to have been destroyed. Therefore I will cancel PCSO **** attendance and we will keep a record that you have the knife should we need to collect it at a later date. Yours sincerely ****". No need/point in me replying methinks. I can draw a line under it. . . I actually don't think I've EVER done it before, but SO much had those latest comments on youtube angered me and lodged in my mind for some reason, I actually sat down and spent HOURS knocking up a reply to 'maybe' send to the latest commentors!!!!!!!!!???????? I actually trawled through many of my diary archive entries, looking for any trace of in any way 'relevant', mentions of suffering seagulls! lolol There ARE lots!! Utterly absurd of me to do so I know - and it took me hours - but that IS what I spent most of the day doing!!!!!??? (I guess I'm just sick and tired of seemingly having spent my whole life being someone elses 'punchbag', and just having to always take it!?) It ended up looking like this!
I don't make a habit of responding to the unpleasant and abusive comments I regularly receive, but in your case I choose to make an exception - because, as was your intention, you HAVE succeeded in upsetting me greatly with your ignorant and offensive comment.
I do not believe I deserve it.
Please take the time to review at least 'some' of the following links and read the entries as indicated.
http://www.tljones.co.uk/diaryarc/md0410.htm - READ THE ENTRIES for 24th and 26th 28th
http://www.tljones.co.uk/diaryarc/md0610.htm - READ THE ENTRIES for 1st, 9th, 18th, 24th
http://www.tljones.co.uk/diaryarc/md0910.htm - READ THE ENTRIES for 16th, 17th
http://www.tljones.co.uk/diaryarc/md0511.htm - READ THE ENTRY for 1st
http://www.tljones.co.uk/diaryarc/md0711.htm - READ THE ENTRY for 19th
http://www.tljones.co.uk/diaryarc/md0811.htm - READ THE ENTRY for 3rd
http://www.tljones.co.uk/diaryarc/md0911.htm - READ THE ENTRIES for 10th, 13th, 14th, 21st, 27th
http://www.tljones.co.uk/diaryarc/md0212.htm - READ THE ENTRY for 27th
http://www.tljones.co.uk/diaryarc/md0812.htm - READ THE ENTRIES for 9th, 10th
http://www.tljones.co.uk/diaryarc/md0709.htm - READ THE ENTRIES for 7th, 24th
http://www.tljones.co.uk/diaryarc/md0708.htm - READ THE ENTRY for 24th
I can assure you, wherever possible in my own small way, I DO seek to alleviate the suffering of others as best I can!
I do not SEEK to inflict it on others - and certainly not by leaving unpleasant and abusive comments for them on Youtube etc!
'I' wish 'YOU' a long and peaceful life, free from suffering. Sincerely T
At length, I attempted to message it via Youtube to the Nathaliaaa666 individual (who I believe is a self righteous female animal-rights activist type, cat lover from Sweden!!). Would you believe it - after all that absurd amount of time spent knocking that up, that person turned out to have some sort of a block on their youtube identity which prevented anyone from sending them a message!! How very convenient for them! Oh well - went ahead and succeeded in sending it to the other commentor at least. Just for once - my pathetic version of having a 'bit of a go back' - and I briefly felt better for the attempt!! Hah! . . . ate a couple of tuna and mayo finger rolls, crisps, banana and a little chocolate . . .napped until the alarm at 6:30pm. Woke feeling pretty 'unwell' - and freezing cold of course. Even with the fire on and doors to the hallway closed, I seem to be having trouble getting the living room temperature up anywhere near 16C of late. TVd . .ate a pack of Mum donated pastry tarts . . .aimlessly PCd for hours. Well - at least the person I messaged earlier on Youtube now hopefully seems to perhaps have a slightly better grasp on the reality behind the posting of my seagull video. They had replied simply "I removed my comment and I will not bother you again." Shame I couldn't message the other person and get a similar acceptable response - but then what on earth is the point - in any of it all! . . eventually to bed around 3:30pm. Trouble getting to sleep - and my feet in particular were like blocks of ice (despite having TWO duvets on the bed right now). Should have eaten more today.
23 - Up around 7:45am. 12C in, 0C out. Grey with 'slightly' less wind from a more Northerly direction . tu . . walked FGn and sat around playing ball for as long as I could stand in occasional hints of the lightest of 'snow' flurries . back via the store for potato supplies . . .PCd/monitored radios, with layers/gloves and the electric heater on again . FFS - the e-mail I sent to the police yesterday about the kitchen knife has been 'bounced'. "The error that the other server returned was: 451 Unable to accept this email at the moment". How irritatingly predictable was THAT! They really do seem to go out of their way to be totally uncontactable unless you are dialing 999! That really bugged me. So, the bottom line is, despite my best efforts, absolutely no one from the police has any knowledge/record of me having picked that up, etc! FFS!!! Ended up shutting down all the radios and eventually trying to call that '101' number again. THIS time I laboriously explained to the call handler (without letting her get a word in edgeways) why I was trying to report it and that it was NOT because it was a lost property issue, etc, etc, etc. THIS time the call handler 'got it', took my details and said she'd be checking their logs for any incidents in the area. THAT is more like it! NOW I feel I've 'done my bit' and can lay it to rest in my mind. :o| . .back to playing with radios . . Mum called in with food donations etc . . ate a banana, crisps, ham and cheese sandwiches and a little chocolate . . napped . . TVd. YET another news report about carbon monoxide deaths! Three people and their dog all silently died in a caravan park in Cornwall! Apparantly "The Department of Health estimates that about 40-50 people die of CO and about 4,000 attend Accident and Emergency every year in England and Wales alone."! Touched base with Mum breifly and thanked her (just to make her feel good) for the expensive detector she'd recently bought for me. (Earlier in the day I HAD ungratefully ranted on about how she shouldn't have bought it, because it was almost twice the price of others currently being advertised on TV from some DIY store or other! It IS also a bit more 'clutter' to have to find a place for in the living room - and is almost inevitably gonna become choked and useless thanks to the ever present layers of mud-dust that thickly settles on everything!) Like I've said before, I can't help thinking that being all nice and warm and comfortable in front the fire and suddenly unknowingly drifting off to dusty death (even accompanied by your loved one) isn't such a bad way to go. . . PCd and trawled through ebay adverts at length . . BB called to touch base . . ate a microwaved ham and cheese pastry slice, half a tin of baked beans and some grated cheese followed by a Mum donated buttered scone . . to bed around 2am.
22 - Up at 7:10am again. 11C in, 0C out. Grey and windy, as is forecast the same for many days yet! :o( . . . walked FGn. Oh wow - that was a BITTER, painful wind on the exposed green. Didn't sit playing ball for long . . back across the green, just laying on the grass within 50mtrs of the little kids swings and play area, I discovered what appeared to be a 'toy' knife. I thought it was a toy because of the weird 'zebra print' colouring of the blade. Well - it turned out NOT to be a toy at all!It was a proper one with a black plastic handle and a metal blade, around 13" long and 1.75" wide!!!???!!! There was nothing else around, and I couldn't just leave it there, so I ended up wrapping it in a carrier bag and having to walk along the streets carrying it with me! Couldn't put it in a pocket so had to walk along holding it upside down by the handle, with the blade up against my forearm. A VERY uncomfortable feeling to be walking along carrying something like that! (Imagine if I'd suddenly been stopped by the police right then! No one in the world would have believed my genuinely innocent explanantion would they!) I ALSO had to go to the local store for milk and bread supplies on the return. Imagine how THAT felt going into the store with THAT on my person!!!!! (I DID actually risk putting it upsidedown into my combat trousers leg pocket while I did my shopping!) . . . eventually back home feeling utterly frozen. TVd the BBC news breifly. YET again, the HEADLINE story was about that Oscar Pistorius killer!? How is that judged to be the MAIN headline news story - AGAIN!?? The BBC losing the plot AGAIN I reckon. :o( It is VERY disturbing to me to see how the bail hearing has been turned into some sort of celebrity media circus feeding frenzy / trial by press/television. (The defence must be rubbing their hands in glee!!) Having said that, such is the coverage, it's almost impossible not to get dragged into having an opinion on things! I HAVE regretably bumped into some of the feedback/comments made by people on Yahoo etc, and it utterly astounds me how many people appear to be supportive and forgiving of the man (purely because he plays sports? WHAT a meaningless irrelavance!), and almost dismissive of the innocent victim (and her family, etc)! Even if one was to believe HIS version of events (as they have been reported), then surely there is something seriously wrong with the guy - something that makes him very dangerous, and someone from who, society at large should be protected, by having him locked away? When thinking about such things, I often try to put all the conflicting legal BS to one side, and simply attempt to envisage how 'normal/usual' human behavior would have one act under the circumstances. So - lets imagine I'm fearing for my life and think someone has just broken in to an adjacent room. IMMEDIATELY I'd wake my sleeping partner so they'd have a chance of survival and could assist in a defence, perhaps at least by calling the police, etc. If I had a gun to hand - would I start shooting through a closed toilet door at 'intruder noises'. Absolutely NOT. I'd wait AT LEAST until I had a shadowy target to aim at from a mutually defensive position. If I'd 'accidentally' shot a loved one, would I start 'moving them around' before calling ambulances and the like? He allegedly (with false legs mind you) managed to pick up and carry her down some stairs before calling for medical help - and friends and relatives! (How DID he even manage that I wonder - legs or no legs? I vividly recall almost dropping the dead weight of Sally when carrying her down the few garden steps! Manhandling an unconscious/dead person is a VERY different experience to a living conscious one!) For ME, there IS something VERY 'strange/unusual/abnormal' about HIS account of events. The WHOLE business is sickening in SO many ways! :o( (Not least of all because I even find myself ranting on about it here!!). . PCd a bit of this with the electric fan heater on. I DID stop typing to call that new '101' non-emergency police number trying to report the find of the knife - just in case there had been some sort of potentially related 'incident' in that locality the night before. I don't think the call handler 'got it', and they just tried to put me through to a lost-property number for goodness sake. Predictably it just rang and rang and wasn't answered (nothing changes does it!) and after seven minutes on hold I just gave up. I DID however eventually attempt to e-mail the local police, giving brief details and attaching a photo - just in case. I've now wiped the knife down (!) and will presumably just end up adding it to my cutlery drawer collection. That IS liable to make me feel 'a little uneasy', the next time I walk Bella that way in the dark! :o( . . PCd this . .I've had no one attempt to get in touch about the wallet and debit cards I found? (Despite saying they would, I just BET that bank call-handler person I spoke with, didn't even bother to let the owner know I have it.) It's still laying around cluttering up the place. I'll hang onto it for another week I guess, but then I'm gonna just 'dispose' of it. . those freebie multivitamin tablets I've been taking have had absolutely ZERO noticeable effect on me (not even placebo) - so I reckon they are a total load of absolute worthless rubbish (which probably accounts for them being given away free). . .vacuumed all over . . . cooked and ate a meat pie with chips and half a tin of baked beans followed by a couple of biscuits and a little chocolate. . . napped until the alarm at 6:30pm . . D called in with his guitar for chats etc. Breifly listened on the radio just after 7:30pm as the space station went over transmitting to a school in Canada via a relay station in Italy. Chats and guitarred until D left around 9:45pm . . . TVd but couldn't find anything worth watching and ended up looking at random videos on Youtube on the internet connected TV. Guitarred a bit . . ate a six pieces of bread and butter pile of ham sandwiches, crisps and chocolate and then later a bowl of rice krispies before to bed at 2:30am.
21 - Up at 7:10am. 13C in, 3C out. Grey and windy. . . walked BGdns and sat and played ball in the very chilly east wind for a bit before deciding to also walk the woods. Eventually back with a stone for the garden. . .TVd and just pottered around a bit wiping down Bella dust from the window ledges and the like, and examining the appalling state of all the window trim and listening for wind noise. Definitely some more 'botching' work needed when the weather is better! :o( . . played with radios for quite a while, scanning around and acheiving nothing . Mum called to touch base . . ate turkey slice sandwiches, crisps, banana and chocolate biscuits . . napped, but mostly just to escape the cold. Without the fire on, it was hovering around 12C in the house, and had dropped to only 2C outside all day - combine that with the continuing gale force eight, it was feeling pretty damned unpleasant! I don't know why it had never really occurred to me before, but when you look at where I am on a map, it suddenly makes sense why things can get so particularly unpleasant here when its an easterly/south-easterly type wind. There is actually nothing between here and Northern France/Belgium etc. Wind blowing off the (cold) continent can blow unimpeded straight down the English Channel and head-on into the bay - and into my front windows of course!! . . back up before the 6:30pm alarm . . TVd . . ended up back on the radios for a couple of hours, having a listen around on 80mtres to a CW contest D had mentioned the other night. With my continuing appallingly slow morse-code receive skills (supplemented by using HRD Digital Master on the PC to also decode), with so many people on rushing to get their contest contacts, I have to confess it was largely little more than just a mass of overwhelming overlapping noise to me!! Actually almost 'painful' to listen to! lol . PCd a bit of this while still half listening . .Oh wow - at the stroke of 9:30pm the contest came to an end, and like a switch had been flicked, all of a sudden it was almost total silence on the band! Never heard anything like that before. WHAT a relief! lololol A lot of kettles now being put on, and wrists put on ice I bet. lol . . . TVd wathcing Question Time. . drank some Baileys . . ate ham, mayo and grated cheese sandwiches, crisps and a little chocolate. .to bed around 2am.
20 - Up at 8:25am. 13C in, 6C out. Misty cloudy grey and breezy. Kinda like back to winter after yesterdays spring like! . . walked FGn. Felt really cold in the strong easterlyish breeze. Couldn't stand sitting around for long. Back via the local stores. Finally got rid of a little pile of old batteries I've had hanging around the place for ages - because you aren't 'supposed' to just throw them in the bin anymore. The local hardware store had a 'recycle' (yeah, I bet!) type bin for them. Bought three orange-juice cartons, bread supplies and two going off/cheap cottage pie ready meals (with who knows what 'meat' in them of course!) before heading home with the heavy rucsack. Bumped into the builder who'd done next doors garage on the return, and raced home and then out into the back garden to have a quick chat with him about the possibilities of building a solid flat roof across the back of the house (to eventually replace the conservatory etc). I asked for just a loose, ball-park £s figure for what I had in mind. Several £ks, and that for JUST the roof!!!! :o( . . .PCd this. No howling noise from the PC room window - YET. More wind please! Fingers crossed. I AM daring to hope! . . .ate turkey slice sandwiches, crisps and biscuits . . tried not to but oh SO tired - napped until the alarm at 6:30pm. On the plus side, despite it blowing pretty hard outside, there was NO howling from the PC room window. Hypersensitive to any such noise, I DID however detect evidence of a bit of irritating low level noise from somewhere around the bedroom bay window!! Looks like I'm gonna be back up the ladder some time! . . TVd . . PCd and listened in to the local amateur club net for a bit. Around 8:20pm, Portland coastguard were reporting an 'Easterly gale force eight imminant'. STILL no noise from the PC room window. :o) Oh WHAT a joy to be able to sit here without having to endure that. . . guitarred briefly/TVd . . ate a microwave shepherds pie, crisps and a whole battenburg cake!! . . to bed around 2am.
19 - Up around 7:15am (sunrise pretty much). 13C in, 2C out. A few clouds but mostly sunny. . . walked just a little earlier than what has become my usual. . Mustered up the energy (I really am finding it harder and harder to actually 'do' anything!) and threaded the smaller one of my ladder collection through the house and carefully out the front through the living room window. Climbed up and had a good close look at the window and all the surrounding poorly fitted trim. Almost immediately it was apparant that plenty of the silicon beading had seperated slightly, and it was quite possible the resulting small gaps and movement in the poorly fitted trim 'could' be causing the howling noise. (Outrageous way to put in windows!! Shocking. F***ing amateur cowboys!) In other words, the wind was likely getting in around the window rather than through it. Removed some beads of silicon and actually had a go at firming up a couple of the poorly fitted and 'moving' lengths of trim, by applying some super glue to the joins. Sadly that did NOT work! Too much of an uneven gap and not enough flex in the trim to stay stuck. :o( . . retreated back inside to think things over for a bit. I HAVE to do 'something'!!! Came up with a 'botch' plan! . . figured I'd make use of the 'down time' by defrosting the freezer, which has been very much in need of doing for a while. Pulled the freezer out and unplugged it. Put all the frozen food out in the conservatory wrapped in a duvet, and lay Bella's old towels all over the floor in front the freezer to catch the thawing drips . . . eventually back up the ladder with a bowl of strong filler/PVA mix! Definitely a botch, but I figured if I could drive some of that in to the gaps behind the trim, it'd act as 'interference' for any wind penetration, but moreover, act as a 'support' to stop the trim moving as much as it could, and give a firmer foundation for a new run of weatherproofing silicon bead over the top of the joins. Used a butter knife to drive it into all the narrow gaps as best I could, perched precariously off one side of the ladder in the increasing breeze. (I thought the forecast said no wind today?!! 'Microclimate', local onshore perhaps?) . the sun and increasing breeze meant the filler would all go off and dry out pretty quick (I only actually have around five minutes or less of working time with it, when I mix it up like that!), but it still meant waiting for a good few hours before daring to apply the silicon beading. Despite chipping ice out of the freezer and mopping up drips from time to time, there was plenty of time to do something else. I've had a big lidded biscuit tin sat on the kitchen windowledge for - well - must be over a year now! It's LONG been my intention to modify it to act as a safety cover in the attic, for the spotlight I put in the ceiling above the desk in the PC room (to keep the insulation away from it and to help with heat dissipation etc). (I've temporarily had a large plastic tub loosely (!) placed over it!) Well - I FINALLY got round to doing so. Cut a large hole out of the lid so it would fit over the back of the spotlight, flat onto the back of the ceiling. Drilled and screwed it into place and then drilled the bottom of the tin to be able to run the cable through. Disconnected the power and working by torchlight, disconnected the cable from the connecting rose, fed it through the tin, popped the tin over the back of the whole spotlight assembly, inserted it nicely onto the screwed down lid, and then connected the cable back up before finally putting the fibreglass loft insulation back down all around it. Yayy. FINALLY got that done. Rather safer than the temporary plastic tub at least. . . mopped and dried around inside the freezer as best I could before plugging it back in and getting it back into position and then getting all the slightly thawing food back in . . . coffee, cigs and TVd the early afternoon news for a bit. . . eventually climbed back up the ladder and put new thick beads of silicone over the relevant areas as best I could. It's a 'botch', but I HAD to do something, and it certainly can't make anything worse! It may not 'last' very well, but for the moment at least, it 'should' enable me to get to the bottom of what exactly has been causing that howling noise. If I STILL get howling, then at least I will know for sure that it's actually coming THROUGH the seals of the actual window units, rather than around the trim surrounding them!! What I need now is some strong wind - from all sorts of different directions, to test things out. Given that I only got that howling in certain specific weather conditions, it's going to be quite a while before I know where I stand. Fingers VERY crossed!!! . . brought the ladder back through the window and house, and got it stored back atop the pergola out back . .tidied up tools etc and got back straight . . .briefly PCd a bit of this. . . drank a glass of red wine while cooking up two quarter pound cheese burgers and chips. Ate lots late afternoon. . . napped late until the alarm at 7:30pm . . TVd . . . PCd/listened to radios until early . .Bella is STILL acting neurotic in the living room (when I am in it!), and seems to want to be anywhere that I am NOT! :o( I despair. It's REALLY upsetting me. :o( . . ate a banana and whole pack of chocolate chip cookies before to bed at 2:30am.
18 - Up around 7:50am. 14C in, 6C out and still windy (with ongoing continuous 'howling' through the PC room window!) . . walked FGn in a foul mood - sleep deprived and driven isane by a mad dog and constant howling window. Stopped at a nearby window store on the return and bought some of that cheap nasty stick on foam draught excluder for a couple of pounds. . . reluctantly eventually started trying to have a look at the PC room window to figure out what the hell is making it howl like it is. I really need to get the ladder through the house and climb up and look from the outside, but it really is rather too windy for safely doing that at the moment I think. The forecast is saying it's gonna calm down a little tomorrow, before even stronger winds on Wednesday!!! :o( Took the venetian blind down and stood atop a stool, leaning over the desk trying to figure out where the howling was coming from. All over the damn place appeared to be the answer!!!!!? Impossible to be able to really tell from the inside. There WAS however a small gap between some of the interior trim and the silicon beading, which DID seem to be having an affect - and absolutely should NOT have been!! (Those f***ing cowbow window guys deserve to suffer for this shoddy mess they've left me in!) My little-used tube of silicon retrieved from the garage turned out to have gone solid (despite being all wrapped in plastic) so I had to leave Bella at home and rush back up the window place for a £3.20 tube of white silicone. . after preparing and cleaning it all, I applied a silicon bead to the minute trim gap at the top of the window. . well - either the wind has dropped/changed direction, or that HAS had a slight positive affect. The window IS still making a noise, but it doesn't appear to be 'quite' as bad as it was. That DOES suggest that there is maybe a similar 'seperation' to some trim/silicon on the outside? I won't know for sure until the wind has dropped and I can muster the energy to get a ladder passed through the house/living room window and get up out there and have a close look. :o( . . spent a ridiculous amount of time trying to wash the venetian blind in the bath! It HAS come up a 'bit' cleaner, but it would appear the white plastic slats have permanantly yellowed with age, and no amount of scrubbing brush and detergent action will improve matters. :o( . dried it off for a bit in the sun and wind in the garden before, after a spot of WD40 here and there, eventually got it back up at the window . . . PCd a bit of this. . .drank a glass of red wine and oven cooked two mum donated Birdseye quarter pound chicken burgers and ate them in two buttered bread rolls. First time I've had those. Not over impressed. Ate biscuits and then napped . .back up just before 6:30am . . TVd/played with radios a little/PCd. I've been meaning to for ages, and it's been sat in my e-bay bookmarks for the longest time - FINALLY went ahead and ordered a USB programming cable for the Yaesu FT-897 from Hong Kong for £10.50. I actually ordered one of the types that has a plug/socket split part way down the lead, with two different plugs for the radio, which will ALSO enable me to use it to program the FT-8800. I already have one for the 8800 of course, but as far as I could tell, you can't just buy the plug bit for the 897. Anyway - I 'think' I know what I'm doing. With the one I've bought already, I've proven it's possible to use the same USB end permanantly left plugged into the PC, and just swap the plug/socket radio lead ends to program up the VX-2, the VX-7 AND the FT8800 as and when required WITHOUT having to mess around with multiple COM port assignments, baud rates etc on the PC side of things. This new cable 'should' enable me to do exactly the same with the 897 too. i.e. ONE USB programming cable with interchangeable ends for ALL the radios I have. What I CAN'T seem to work out or be entirely sure about, is if that 897 programming cable will ALSO give me computer control of the radio from HRD etc!? Fingers crossed. . . ate a banana and three jam tarts before to bed around 2am. . Richard Briers died this day.
17 - Up at 8am. 14C in, 6C out. Mostly sunny with a strong breeze . . . walked FGn and sat playing ball in the sun for quite a while. Warm in the sun, but the ever stiffening breeze made it still feel pretty cold. Such a nice sunny day, eventually mustered up the energy to walk all the way down around the harbour and out along the breakwater and back . . . TVd/PCd/just sat around feeling tired. The strong wind appears to be coming from just the right direction to make the PC room window howl the worst it does. It howled constantly throughout the whole day (and night!). It's a REAL form of torture having to endure that level of noise all the time. It's SO loud, there IS no escape from it anywhere in the house, doors closed or not . . .ate spam in two finger rolls, crisps, banana and biscuits . . napped until around 7:20pm . . TVd. .So - the latest instalment in the neurotic psycho dog from hell, whatever-next saga, is that Bella has NOW suddenly got all freaked-out by my footstool in the living room!!! I lifted one side of it up and banged it back down on the floor a few days ago, and she got all spooked by it. Everything was okish and more or less back to normal for a couple of days, but today all of a sudden for no apparant reason, she's acting like a total nutcase over it - as though it's liable to suddenly spotaneously rear up and give her a beating!!!???? (There WAS a significant amount of 'banging' from next door this afternoon/evening.) This evening, when I moved the footstool slightly, she went airborne and raced to get away from it into the kitchen, and in the process crashed into one of my french doors threatening to wreck it! She then cowered in the kitchen for an hour while I watched TV and then when I opened the door to the hallway, she took herself off (cowering) up to her bed in the bedroom and pretty much stayed up there on her own for the whole rest of the evening!!!?? FFS!!!!?????? She IS absolutely NUTS! What the hell has sparked all this off? It really is like having to live with someone who's a schizophrenic or a crack addict or something! From one minute to the next, I have NO idea what's gonna happen with her or how she's liable to behave! :o( Anyone coming in and seeing the sorry nervous state of her behaving like this, would think I'm constantly beating her! If I could afford it, I'd put her on doggy tranquilisers. I would - REALLY! :o( . . . ate a banana, toast and some mini jam tarts . . to bed around 2:30am.
16 - Up at 7:45am. 14C in, 3C out with pretty dense fog!!! . . woke at the PC having a look through e-bay listings. Oh dear - I bumped into a re-listing by the CB buyer?!!! It would appear that whoever won the auction did NOT pay him for it, so he's had to relist it! Bet he's not happy!! Not happy at all!!!!! . . .walked FGn and sat playing ball in the fog for a bit. Carried on down town in search of peanut supplies for the birdfeeder. . found a leather wallet under the fire escape by the town hall/covered market (which wasn't open this morning)!! In the wallet was a Natwest Visa debit card, a Barclays account card, a taxi company 'staff discount' card and a £5 note! Damn - I'm gonna feel obliged to attempt to return that to its owner if I possibly can I guess. The nearby little part time, waste of space police counter was closed, so I couldn't just hand it in there. Walked back up through town to both the Barclays and Nat West banks, but both of those were closed too - so I ended up just putting it in a pocket to play Sherlock Holmes with later! What a hassle - and I admit to having urges to just pocket the £5 note!!!! :o( . . bought a large bag of peanuts in the grocer for around £4 or so before heading home . . recovered from the walk with a coffee in the back garden as a little bit of sun managed to break through the fog. Pretty soon ended up digging the wallet out of my coat pocket and then pawing over the local phone directory looking for the rather unusual name on the debit cards. No one by that name listed at all - although since everyone seems to be using anonymous/unlisted mobile phones these days, no great suprise there. Tried calling the taxi company because of the 'staff discount' card, but that was nothing more than an advert given out to customers, so no leads there. Surfed looking stuff up online, and actually made two more phone calls to numbers associated with such a surname, but to no avail. I think I've managed to 'probably' identify who it belongs to - some young guy who lives in Torquay somewhere - but there was no way of narrowing it down to find an address or phone number. Eventually called it quits (probably having spent more than £5 on the phone calls!) and phoned Natwest and could do nothing more than register the card as lost and have it blocked. The bank guy on the phone said he WOULD be contacting their customer to let him know, so I gave him my name and phone number so the guy could get in touch and have his money and the wallet back if he so chooses. What a load of hassle! Why DO I bother!!!!!!!!!! :o( . . PCd a bit of this and as I did so, started getting all old mannish/busy-body about the rockfall on Fishcombe beach. The more I thought about it as I typed, the more it struck me as something which 'someone' SHOULD be concerned about. Had anyone actually reported it to the council - or - whoever takes responsibility for checking out the safety of such things? Surely 'someone' should be inspecting the cliff face there to make sure no more is imminantly liable to fall down? My concerns got the better of me and I ended up trying to report it to the council on some Tor2 type of emergency number. They were courteous and took minimal details, but since it was Saturday, didn't seem to think anyone would bother going out to look, and they even suggested I should call back on Monday! . . Mum called in with the papers and food donations for chats etc . She'd had to call in the gas board during the week, to attend to her central heating boiler (leaking all over her kitchen worktop!!) , and had taken it upon herself whilst the gas guy was there, to buy ME (she already has one) a portable carbon monoxide alarm (CO-BG-01)!!! She refused to tell me how much it was, but I just BET it cost a small fortune, being from British Gas and all! :o( There HAVE been SEVERAL cases recently on the local news, where people have just suddenly died or come REAL close as a result of being overcome by carbon monoxide from faulty fires and the like. Most recently I think it was a woman AND her three dogs all suddenly found dead! Of course I've never had my living-room gas fire checked since I've lived here, and I think Mum has a concern over that. The way I figure it - if it was dangerously faulty and belching out carbon monoxide, I'd have long since passed-away by now - and to be honest, it doesn't strike me as a particularly bad way to go (unless of course, 'just' before you finally die, you wake up in agony? lol). Anyway - at some point I'll have to show willing and get that detector all set up (no idea where to have it live!), and wind the fire up nice and high for a bit! The gas hob too I guess. . .with the fog having cleared, it'd really turned into a nice, spring like sunny day. Decided to do an early afternoon dogwalk to BGdns - but mostly because I wanted to have another look at that rockfall on the beach, to see if I'd 'lost the plot' a bit, and if it really was worth bothering phoning the council about! Wow - what a pleasant day - with huge banks of sea mist suddenly engulfing bits of the bay before inexplicably suddenly disappearing and clearing to sunny again. VERY atmospheric. Lots of people all out walking dogs etc. After the harsh winter we've had, it felt like almost the first day of the year somehow. Grabbed a couple of poor pics of the rockfall on Fishcombe beach (difficult, with the low afternoon sun shining directly onto the camera lens!). The picture doesn't do it justice of course - nor does it show the 100feet and more of tree covered cliffs and slopes immediately above. It IS a significant hunk of rock! (If no one was around to hear it fall, did it make a sound? lol) I dunno if it's worth getting concerned about or not. Even if more is liable to come down, I can't imagine anyone having a budget for doing anything about it. I for one will have a different 'relationship' with that beach from now on! I HAVE stood right there on a couple of occasions in the past! Thrown Bella's ball there too! I guess it'll take an unsuspecting holidaymakers death for someone to really give a toss?!! . sat on my usual lower seat for a bit. A dog walker in conversation remarked that he'd just seen 'THE dobermans' heading off for a walk through the woods!! Yikes - thank goodness I hadn't yet gone that way as I'd been tempted to!! Just continued sitting there for quite a while playing ball with Bella, as large numbers of other dogs all played and milled around - without incident. Good girl. :o) . eventually back via the store for tobacco supplies and milk . . ate a Mum donated pastry slice, pork pie, crisps and biscuits . . napped until before the alarm around 7:20pm . . straight onto the PC and ebay. . skipped the walk and quickly fed Bella before back to the PC. . Agonised much (as I have done throughout the last week) before finally deciding to 'have a go' for it!!!! Put in a serious 'sniper type' bid on the auction for an IC-R2500 ending around 8pm. I was outbid - 'just' , by another sniper. A mixture of some disappointment but mostly probably relief - and I felt pretty shakey and really unwell for quite a while after having had the nerve to make my bid. It went for around £430 inc postage. It's a lot of money - but it IS a LOT of receiver. You can still get them new, and they are just shy of £1000! Boy - HOW I could have made use of that (with its dual receive and control head). Oh well - it was worth a shot. Like I can 'actually' afford it! Hah!!!!!! . . very soon after (still shaking and feeling nauseas and unwell), I sat and watched the outcome of the CB buyer's re-listing. It sold (this time) for just £24 ( plus £12.50 postage) which seems a more realistic amount given its apparant current condition. That's quite a loss he's made! Oh dear. :o( . . . PCd this . had a break from typing and sat in the cold garden with a coffee for a bit, before returning to PC this some more . . . TVd . . ate two turkey slice finger rolls, crisps and most of a pack of chocolate chip cookies. . .to bed around 2:30am.
15 - Up at 8:15am. 14C in, 4C out, sunny!!! . . . walked BGdns. Played ball and then 'dipped' Bella on the beach at Fishcombe Cove to wash some of the layers of mud off. Wow - a HUGE boulder has 'recently' fallen from the cliff onto the beach. Wonder when that was. (A dog walker suggested within the last week or so). Wow - that's a wake up call. People are always walking, sitting, climbing on the rocks and messing around on the beach, right where that's fallen. (Even while I was watching, a couple of people and dogs were walking around it and poking at it - seemingly oblivious to the fact that at any moment there was the potential for more to suddenly fall from immediately above!!) That one huge rock could easily have killed half a dozen people on a crowded sunny summers day. I wonder if anyone has informed - um - whoever? Well - the council (or whoever is responsible for it) were right to put in that stubby post and 'beware of rockfalls' road-sign right there. THAT is the sign that I've got so wound up about in the past, when I've seen youths, 'yobs' and grown men with their children, repeatedly throwing pebbles at it and destroying it, etc, etc. I think it was only 'relatively' recently renewed within the last year or so because it had been so badly damaged. Having said that, just putting up a sign like that seems a bit 'inadequate', especially considering what's recently happened! I AM suprised that more hasn't been done to 'cordon off' the danger area in some way? Impractical I guess? . . . did bed linen laundry (bang, bang, bang from the machine!!! :o( ), vacuuming and dish washing chores. Got the laundry dry on the line in the sunny spells pretty quick . . ate a tin of soup, crisps and four crusts of bread and butter . . brought laundry back in and re-made the bed . napped . . skipped the walk. TVd until D called in with his guitar for coffee and chats etc until around 10pm . . touched base with BB . . .TVd . .ate a six pieces of bread and butter pile of spam sandwiches with crisps . . to bed around 1:30am or later.
14 - Up around 7:30am woken by a neighbour dragging their wheelie bin down their steps. 14C in, 7C out, sun and showers. . . raining as I prepared to leave the house, so walked FGn in full weather gear. Ended up overdressed sitting in some sunny spells for ages. . . 'played' with the lawnmower out in the garden and fitted one of the extra spacers and the replacement blade. The ground was too wet really, but the grass needed doing and I was eager to see what difference if any the new (blunt!) blade would make, so I ended up cutting both lawns before more showers passed through! Well - it works, and does appear to have cut the grass just a little shorter than it had been doing. The grass was pretty long and SO wet, I'm not sure it was a fair test, but it seems to have done the job. I don't think I dare lower the blade any more with the other spacer. If nothing else, that new blade IS currently better balanced, and the noise and vibration HAS reduced somewhat. A little life in the old mower yet. . . pottered around a bit putting a couple of bits of junk in the bin etc, and then transferring most of the stuff I have still stored in the conservatory, up into the garage and elsewhere, out of harms way from all the leaks!! Like it or not, this year I AM going to HAVE to make a decision about what to do about replacing that conservatory! It's almost CONSTANTLY on my mind!! A REAL BIG headache! I can't just knock it down, because the old broken tilt-and-turn type double glazed 'back door' to the kitchen diner inside it, isn't wind or water tight! Lots of other 'related' problems and issues to coinsider too. BIG headache £k!!!!!! :o( . . .ate ham and grated cheese sandwiches, crisps and a banana. Am I going nuts or have bananas 'changed' somehow in recent years? When I was a kid, it was the easiest and most natural thing in the world to just grab the 'stalk' at the top of a banana skin, snap it back, and easily open the thing up and peel the skin off. That never seems readily possible these days?? I've even got into the habit of having to 'nic' the skin with the blade of a knife to be able to peel it back like I used to! A silly little annoyance, but noticeably different to how things used to be. Maybe it's simply because they aren't as old/ripe as they used to be by the time they got here? . . . napped until the alarm at 6:30pm . . . TVd . . walked BGdns with a coffee. Sat around under the stars for quite a while . . . PCd and then PCd a bit of this . .somehow ended up listening around the bands a bit on the PCR1000, trying out the various bits of software I have that control it, but mostly ending up using Ham Radio Delux (HRD). I've long been wanting to maybe at some time upgrade that old PCR for a later, higher spec model (like a 2500 with a control head and dual receive - and an 'apparantly' nice example of one IS currently listed on e-bay!) but it 'appears' that HRD won't control those later ones!?? That in itself seems like a pretty good reason to just stick with what I have. Messing around like that HAS wetted my appetite for ordering the control cables so I can hook up the FT-897 to the PC and HRD, and control IT in the same way . . . ate half a Mum donated coffee sponge cake with coffee before to bed around 3am. That isn't enough food for a day!
13 - Up around 7:15am woken by the PC room window howling. 13C in, 5C out, rain and wind. . .walked FGn in full wellingtons and rain gear, and sat in the cold rain playing ball for a bit. So much for all that effort put in showering Bella yesterday! Covered in mud again right away! :o( Back via the store for bread . .finally received an e-mail reply from BB. Everything is all ok. Phew. . . messed around listening on the radios for a bit as the heavy rain and wind continued ALL day! . . ended up playing with the Philips stereo headphones I recently scored in a charity shop. The big old fat 6.3mm stereo plug is a lot less handy for most things these days, so I set about desoldering it and then fitting a currently more usual 3.5mm plug instead. (I have an adapter for if I need the 6.3mm plug of course). When I went to get all my soldering irons and bits and pieces stored in a big plastic box in the conservatory, I was HORRIFIED to find about half an inch of rainwater in the bottom of it, with everything going rusty!!! ARGGGH!!! I'd been so careful to cover it all over with a big plastic dog food bag to protect it all from the leaking roof, and yet somehow the rain leaks had still managed to get in! Damn, damn, damn!!! Had to hastily engage in a big time consuming detour, drying and cleaning everything and trying to salvage it all! :o( . D called to let me know the local radio club had changed their weekly net night back to this evening, in case I wanted to join in . .around 12:30pm the postman delivered the replacement blade and spacers for the lawn mower. Another case of you get what you pay for, and if you're forced to buy cheap, you get rubbish (which is what I ALWAYS seem to get isn't it?)? The cheap blade appeared to have been VERY roughly stamped out of some sheet steel, and really had hardly any trace whatsoever of actual sharp cutting edges! It really didn't look like much of an improvement on the blunt knackered one I was replacing!!! Left actually fitting it to the mower for some other time (when it isn't raining - if it ever actually stops raining ever again!). . ate ham sandwiches and three small bags of crisps followed by two mini apple pies . . napped the afternoon away until just before the alarm at 6:30pm . .tu . . still drizzling - skipped the walk . . radiod locally talking about absolutely nothing for an hour or so . . guitarred/TVd and ate half a mum donated coffee sponge cake . . cooked and ate a pack of small burgers in four bread rolls . to bed around 2am as yet more rain fell.
12 - Up just before 8am. 13C in, 2C out and grey. . feel oh SO tired - and a bit headachey/woozy . . . plugged in the flea trap on top of Bella's bed in the bedroom again, but carelessly rearranged the dirty old duvet cover as I did so. That had the affect of flicking a whole bunch of mud and debris straight onto the sticky pad/flea trap insert! Damn damn damn - already!! That means I can no longer see at a glance if there are any fleas caught on the sticky pad! Damn! With all the mud and dust from her everywhere all the time, those expensive pads aren't going to last five minutes before needing replacing! Already I can see that lamp/trap thing is NOT going to be much if ANY effective use to me! (I also begrudge the small amount of electric it's costing me, leaving it on all the time!) :o(. .walked the muddy woods and eventually back, via some ball play in BGdns, with a stone for the garden . . . popped my first of the 'one a day' freebie multivitamin tablets . . bit the bullet and after spreading an old sheet over the floor of the bathroom, did my best at giving Bella her first anti flea shampoo lathering and shower in the bath!! The wetter I made her, the less keen she became, and I DID on a couple of occassions have to hold her by the scruff of her kneck and MAKE her stay put! I don't think she got as wet, lathery and clean as would have been preferred, but I gave it my best shot. After a final showering, I eventually allowed her to jump out onto the sheet I'd put down - at which point she of course promptly shook herself ALL over the bathroom!! Hell of a mess - all over everything! Toweled her down and brushed her over in front of the fire for a bit - and gave her gravy bones lots. Eventually encouraged her back up into the bathroom to see if she was SO traumatised, I'd NEVER be able to repeat the procedure. She WAS rather more hesitant this time, but DID eventually hop back into the bath on her own accord after much encouragement, so hopefully I WILL at some point be able to do it again. (Enough in that small container of shampoo I bought, to do her twice more!! :o( ) . . recovered in front the TV for a bit - BOTh of us rather 'damp'! . . the postman delivered the replacement doorbell lamps I'd ordered. Didn't take long to see they were NOT the right ones! :o( VERY close - but the actual glass lamps were significantly fatter by a good millimetre and half or so. Pretty much the same as the difference between a miniature LED and a 'normal' fatter one. Disconnected the power by just prising the fuse-holder out again, and unscrewed the bellpush from the wall and brought it in to examine - again. No - no way can I even enlarge the plastic hole to accept those fatter bulbs. What a shame. With the money for them already spent, and being the penny pincher I am (and HAVE to be!), I was DETERMINED to try to make use of those bulbs if I possibly could, rather than just end up binning or charity-shopping them. In the end, I dared to just connect one up to the back of the clear plastic bell-push without it being pushed into its proper holder, and then just crammed the whole mess (with difficulty) back into its too small recess in the outside wall!!!!! Totally botched and dodgy - but at the moment, it IS working and IS allowing the light to shine through around the button -as far as anyone would know, like normal. The only major concern is going to be the small amount of heat from the little bulb, acting directly on the plastic covering of the wires in the wall - but - it's only low voltage from the transformer and all low amperage fuse protected, so - what have I got to lose? I AM going to leave it like that for the timebeing and see how it copes. If the bulb quickly blows or the doorbell suddenly starts ringing of its own accord some time, I'll know things havn't worked out. lol . . cut my hair and beard, got clean, etc. . . These last several days now, I've started to get concerned about BB. I've not been able to make contact with her - at all - and that's 'out of the ordinary' - even if I've done or said something (?) to upset her!!! STILL no answer on her phone (always picked up by her ansaphone!), no joy with any of the old mobile numbers I have, and no reply to the e-mail I sent her yesterday. I really AM starting to freak out a bit now, worrying about what's going on with her! I'm actually not even sure if I have the 'ability' to make contact with someone else (who/how?!), in the event 'something' HAS happened!!!!! :o( . . PCd a bit of this . . . just sat around feeling pretty low. Skipped the walk . . TVd . . ate tuna and mayo sandwiches, crisps, banana and mini apple pies . . almost fell asleep in the chair before to bed around midnight.
11 - Up just after 7:30am. 13C in, 1C out. Frosty, and the sun rising into a clear sky to start with. . walked FGn and sat in the sun for quite a long while. . carried on down town and headed for a small chemist in the high street. A leaflet was delivered the other day advertising the place, with a voucher for a free pot of multivitamin tablets attached. Since it's free, may as well give them a try and see what affect I notice when taking them (if any). I recall the last time I tried something similar, they gave me headaches! . claimed my freebie and then did a little shopping for supplies (scored some going off/cheap bits of chicken) before eventually heading home. . .TVd . . vacuumed throughout downstairs. HUGE amounts of mud dust from Bella over absolutely everything!! Caught a couple of snips on the scanner just after midday indicating there was ANOTHER big coastal landslip/rockfall going on at Monmouth Beach, Lyme Regis - AGAIN!! The coastguard helicopter was 'FLIR'ing making sure there were no buried heatsources (and apparantly filmed 'some' earth movements as they happened)! All the coastguard teams over that way were being paged, to man blockades and stop people from walking along the beaches etc into harms way. I wonder how much smaller these British Isles are, after this last year? (Funny how we never seem to hear of 'deposition' and places becoming new land.) I also wonder how much further people now have to walk when doing the coastal path routes, because of all the bits of paths that are no longer there and the big inland detours required around farm and private land as a result, etc? . . finally put the electric flea killer tray thing together and left it plugged in sat on Bella's bed for a few hours. . ate tuna and mayo sandwiches, crisps banana and chocolate. . napped until around 5:30pm. . . walked BGdns with a coffee in the 3C temperatures. Relative calm and sheltered when I left home, but quite a breeze blowing straight off the sea into BGdns making it feel pretty cold. Sat on the highest ('Christmas') seat in BGdns for quite a while with coffee and cigs. The tinsel and Christmas decorations HAVE now been removed (by council workers?) from that seat. . . guitarred briefly and then TVd the night away - watching absolutely nothing! . . drank a small glass of Baileys while cooking up the pieces of chicken I'd bought earlier. Eventually gorged on the whole pack of chicken drumstick etc pieces, with just some added salt - and jolly nice too . . ate chocolate before to bed around 1:30am. 'Disappointingly' (!?!) NO sign of ANY fleas in the flea trap.
10 - Up just before 8am to the sound of heavy rain on the windows. 14C in, 8C out with wind and rain . . checked the rain radar and then deliberately delayed going out for a bit, in the hope of missing the worst of the enormous rainband drifting across the country . . . walked FGn in wellingtons and full rain gear and got caught out in a heavy burst and some following drizzle. The ground is utterly saturated again/still and we returned with Bella absolutely covered in mud again! :o( Had NO choice but to hose her down in the garden again! . . . ended up spending the whole day pretty much, scanning and listening around the bands, building up scan lists and proding at the various radios! . .watched on e-bay around 2:30pm as the CB guy's three day listing came to an end. He sold it 'spares/repair' for £78 inc postage (but then minus the paypal/ebay fees of course)!!!!! All told (inc the extra postage he asked for), he gave me £75.25 for it. WHAT a lottery ebay IS!!!! Just a few £s out of pocket then? I can't help it - I AM genuinely glad for him - and strangely releived (finally!). The whole business has been utterly horrible - for us BOTH I suspect (based on the wording of his listing)! I think I can NOW try to really lay it all to rest in my mind. To coin a phrase - 'the best of a bad outcome'. . . ate a tin of soup, four pieces of bread and butter and a little chocolate . . napped until 6:30pm . . skipped the walk for no good reason other than I just didn't want to have to!!! . . TVd . . ate two grated cheese and ham finger rolls, mini apple pie and a little chocolate . . TVd nothing until bed around 12:30am.
9 - Up around 4:45am. 14C in, 5C out and damp . . late getting out. Walked FGn. Still feels chilly to me, but with hardly a breath of wind it wasn't too unpleasant and the potential showers held off . . .checked (as much as I could) the model etc of my old inherited-with-the-house lawnmower, and bit the bullet and ordered a cheapo new 12" metal blade and two plastic blade spacers for £11.65 inc postage. I've been putting that off and putting it off because I was convinced the actual lawnmower would probably have died before now, and I'd have had to buy a new different one. Well - despite the fact that it's sounding pretty awful, has had some horrendous 'repair' done to the safety handle/switch, and really doesn't do much of a job of cutting the grass anymore, it IS still currently going, and really is just perfect for my needs (in a way new ones aren't) given the lawns weird uneven shapes, adjacent concrete paths etc, AND the fact that I have to carry the damn thing through the house every time I want to mow the front lawn. The blade SHOULD have been replaced years ago! It really is now little more than a deformed, blunt, uneven mess. I've tried to smooth it out and sharpen it before now with the disc cutter and files, but it was so far gone it really wasn't possible, and the attempts have just ended up ruining the balance of the thing (hence the awful noise it now makes I think?). Given how I always seem to have to end up cutting my lawns twice as much as the neighbours, I've long since also come to the conclusion that the blade needs to be altered and lowered to give a closer cut. Hence the spacers and the cheapest replacement blade I could find, to hopefully improve things whilst the mower is still actually working. (The 'uncombined' postage alone came to £4.18!!! Outrageous, outrageous, outrageous! :o( ) . . PCd a bit of this . . around 12:10pm the postman delivered packets containing the flea tablets AND the STV020 Flea Killer device! Left playing with that until soem other time . . .Mum called in a little later than usual with the papers and food donations for chats. Let her see Bella hopping into the bath . . . ate a banana, crisps, pastry slice, small pork pie and a little chocolate . . napped until around 6:30pm . . rain. Skipped the walk . . guitarred/PCd breifly. I admit I HAVE returned to trawling through e-bay listings a little from time to time, just to keep an eye on what's coming up - but with absolutely no intention whatsoever of going for anything. It's a free listings weekend again this weekend. I will NOT be listing anything!!!!!! During my trawling through, I bumped into a listing by the CB buyer for the CB I'd sold him!!!! Boy oh boy oh boy - if I had money to burn, I'd have put a rediculous bid on that to ensure I won it, and then have the opportunity to see what state it was NOW in (inside). I'm still 'disturbed' by what happened between us, and that kinda brought it all back up for me! :o( I'll give him his due, he HAS very meticulously listed its current condition (and HASN'T 'particularly' attempted to make my name mud in the process!). Can't help myself - I'll be keeping an eye on that to see how much he gets for it. I DO find myself hoping he gets a good price and gets his money back for some reason!?. TVd the night away . .drank a little Baileys . . ate a mini apple pie, a large packet of crisps, two ham finger rolls and crisps . . TVd until to bed around 1:30am.
8 - Woke earlier, snoozed on, cuddled with Bella on the bed for a bit then up around 8:30am. Went to the bathroom first thing as usual, and Bella after showing an unprompted interest in the bath, with the slightest bit of verbal encouragement hopped straight in. lolol 14C in, 4C out. Sun and possible showers. . . walked FGn in the chilly sunny spells. Back with a small stone for the garden . . .did the Bella bath training thing again, and even pushed the envelope a little and put old sheets on the floor, had one of her big towels to hand, and actually put the luke warm electric shower on her back-end and tail just a little. She didn't panic and pretty much just sat there and put up with it without any big drama at all. GOOOD dog! Managed to towel her down just a little before 'releasing her' to hop back out of her own accord onto the old sheet, and then predictably shake herself off over everything. THAT was significant progress. Really almost at the point where I could try shampooing her ALREADY! Who'd have thought it. :o) . . . levered the fuse out of the transformer connecting box under the stairs, and then unscrewed the hard-wired illuminated brass front doorbell push from the wall outside, and brought it in for dismantling and examination. The bulb had blown AGES ago, and all the stupid laquer on the brass had also failed, allowing it to start corroding beneath the remaining laquer and looking awful. Been wanting to do something about that for months now. I really miss having it illuminated. At night, it suprisingly used to 'just' give enough light for me to be able to easily find the doorlock keyhole. After completely dismantling it all and removing the weird miniature light bulb (no bigger than a small led!), with it being far too small to just be able to see, I put the multitester across it and confirmed it WAS indeed blown. . messed around removing some of the 'blown' laquer from the brass parts with a fine grade wet and dry paper, paint remover and wire brushes etc before then walking with Bella up to the little local DIY store hoping to be able to get a replacement bulb. Very disappointed NOT to be able to get a replacement. Tried the builders yard on the return, but of course they don't sell anything of the sort. Their suggestion was to buy an entire replacement bell push! What an outrageous throw-away world we live in! . . carried on de-laquering all the brass parts. Eventually polished it all up and refitted it to the wall outside, sadly MINUS the bulb. It will of course dull and eventually corrode a bit, but at least with the laquer removed, it'll be possible to just polish it back up again from time to time. (I DO like bare brass stuff for just that reason.) I did actually dig out one of the miniature ultra bright LEDs I bought a while ago when I was early into messing with components for morse code oscillators etc, just to see if it could conceivably be possible to modify the bellpush to take an LED instead. I reckon that really 'could' be possible (happily without in ANY way altering the actual bellpush) - although it'll be a real fiddle, and the physical size of the required resistor (I'll need to research what value would be required again) could be an issue for the limited recess in the wall. I did NOT actually start trying to do it, simply because the only miniature LEDs I have to hand are red, and that would probably look a bit weird and wouldn't give as much light as I've been used to. If I have trouble getting a bulb, I may think again and have a go. . . PCd and managed to find a seller on ebay who 'may' have the sort of stupid weird/rare regular bulb I need. Took a gamble and went ahead and ordered 'BYRON 4003 - SPARE BULBS X 2 FOR SELECTED BELL PUSHES' for £2.99 inc postage. (The postage alone was £2!!) Hard to tell from the blurb and photos - so 'may' well be a waste of money. Worth a shot though . . .PCd a bit of this early afternoon whilst monitoring another possible suicidal-person coastguard/lifeboats shore search over Torquay way. Found the person in the end, okish I 'think' . . . cooked and ate four small cheeseburgers . . TVd . . walked BGdns with a coffee a little early . . D called in with his guitar for chats etc until around 10pm. Making full use of the distraction of him being here, I got him to come and watch as I tried to persuade Bella into the bath. She hopped straight in with just the slightest bit of encouragement, and then happily layed down of her own accord. :o) . . .TVd/PCd . . ate just a banana and a bunch of biscuits before to bed at 3:30am.
7 - Up around 8:45am. 13C in, 2C out. . tu . .VERY slow getting going. Sat at the PC for ages, largely just re-reading recent ebay communications and trying to digest it all . . . walked FGn VERY late . . . had Bella hop in and out of the bath a couple of times again - even with just a hint of water running from the cold tap. :o) Mum called to touch base as I was sat recovering from the walk with my now 'usual' glass of orange juice . . . PCd . . around 1:20pm the postman delivered the two cans of household flea spray I'd recently ordered. As he was leaving he asked how my mum was, because he hadn't seen her around for a while!!!?? How weird he should even know who she and I are and that we are related? 'Oldy worldy small town' stuff I guess. I have to confess - I actually quite like that. Shame I can't remember who anybody is from one day to the next! Touched base with Mum and let her know he'd asked after her - whoever he was! lol . . . drank a glass of red wine and cooked and ate four cumberland sausages and chips followed by a square or two of chocolate . . napped until around 6:30pm. .raining - skipped the walk . . . TVd/guitarred . . D called to confirm he'll be popping over tomorrow . . TVd and (because Mum had suggested it may be interesting) watched the unsettling film 'Dreams Of A Life' - about a young woman who died in her flat while watching TV, and wasn't discovered until three years later!! :o( . . . cooked and ate four sausage sandwiches, biscuits and chocolate. . drank a shot glass of Baileys before to bed around 1:30am.
6 - Up around 8am. 14C in, 8C out and still blowing a very cold gale. . walked FGn (SO cold in the gale, despite some sunny spells) and then carried on down town and invested £2 in a substantial bag of gravy bones from the pet store . . .persuaded excited Bella up into the bathroom by shaking the treats tub in front of her nose, and then with much encouragement and a gravy bone to hand, somehow managed to get her to jump into the bath all on her own!! The bath is quite tall and she is so small, I don't even know how she managed it - but she did, and my aching back was VERY grateful. Plenty of fussing and more gravy bones, and even some lying down (hillarious the boom, boom, boom noise her wagging tail made on the bottom of the bath), and then with more encouragement she managed to get out - all on her own again! How COOL is THAT! :o) It cost a few gravy bones, but I even pushed my luck and managed to repeat the entire process. Super cool. Trouble is, it IS liable to end up damaging the bath what with her claws and all. May have to experiment with protective old towels or sheets or some such. It IS also making a hell of a mucky, muddy, hairy mess of the dry bath. I'm gonna HAVE to dig out one of those cheap plughole strainer type things I bought a while ago for use as a template for drilling the speaker holes in my morse code oscillator projects. I VERY much need to stop that hair going down the plug! I'm already painfully aware that the waste pipe from the bath is ALREADY partially blocked, and I occasionally when showering have to use my hand as a 'plunger' to get the water to start flowing again!! There's very little I can do about it (short of replacing the ENTIRE underbath waste-pipe run, right across the room, out through the house wall and across to the downpipe collector/hopper outside! Big nasty, inaccessable job!) because it's the old-fashioned style of 'glued' plastic pipework - effectively a single piece, with NO way of dismantling it for cleaning! :o( . . . PCd a bit of this . The more I thought about it and re-read what I'd just typed here, the more like a total load of b******s it seemed to me! So - I suddenly ended up spending the next couple of hours well into the afternoon reaching into the dusty confined space under the bath!!! What I'd typed here WAS of course not entirely accurate. Granted - the main runs of waste pipe ARE indeed brittle old glued plastic, but there WAS of course a more modern U bend immediately beneath the plug hole - which as it turned out, COULD be removed in the 'normal' way. Nervously successfully dismantled everything and cleaned it all up (in painfully freezing cold water of course - and boy did it need it!). I bet that hasn't been done since it was fitted, LONG before my time here. I can pretty much guarantee the previous owners never would have! Even managed to get a bit of a brush on the end of a bendy wire, down the pipework for a few feet, to remove at least 'some' of the disgusting greasy scum which always collects on them. Finally put a few £s on the water bill by half filling the bath and testing there were no leaks beneath, by placing strategic pieces of kitchen roll under the joints. So far so good. Sadly I'll be leaving the bath panel off for a bit, just to make absolutely sure over the next day or so. There IS subtle evidence on the kitchen ceiling that there may have been some sort of leak in the distant past, and given the weird blotting-paper-like old-fashioned fibre-board construction of everything in this house, the slightest drop of an unnoticed leak would cause IMMENSE damage below. An unanticipated sudden detour, but quite nice to have finally got that done. Unfortunately whilst messing around in there with everything, I also discovered that the rubber seal on the metal bath plug has almost completely perished and lets the bathwater through a bit. 'I' only ever shower, so not a priority, but I'm gonna somehow have to try to get a replacement one of those some time (without transport and the ability to get to a DIY store to find a correct match of course!). :o( . PCd a bit of this with the bath half full of (painfully freezing cold) water, prior to going back to ensure no leaks as I let the water out - again. . . .ate corned beef, mayo and grated cheese sandwiches, crisps, mini cheddars, a banana and a square of chocolate . . napped dreaming deeply until around 6pm. Woke from a dream in which BB was present and someone had answered 'yes, yes, no' to unknown questions I hadn't yet asked!?. . walked BGdns with a coffee. Aha - that big fallen tree limb blocking the pavement on the way to BGdns has finally been removed. Played ball and then sat around in the near to freezing temperature under the clear star filled sky with coffee and cigarettes. The wind has already dropped dramatically. On the news, they said they'd recorded a wind gust of around 71mph just down the road at Berry Head over the last 24hrs. . . suceeded in getting Bella to hop in and out of the bath a couple of times again. :o) One of her towels draped over the side of the bath for protection was NOT helpful. . . with the bath waste pipes all successfully cleaned out earlier, I figured I may as well FINALLY get round to having a go at the double sink pipes in the kitchen aswell. For as long as I've been here, if I dumped a bowlful of water down either kitchen sink plug, a waft of a disgusting smell would rise back out of the other plug! Detergent and boiling water poured down the plugs had no effect of course. LONG overdue attention! Removed everything from the undersink cupboard, and unscrewed and cleaned inside as much of the spaghetti of underlying waste pipes as I reasonably could, before eventually getting everything back together by around 11pm. VERY much needed doing!!!!! YYyyyyuuuuKKK! <gagg>. . . PCd briefly, with the fan heater on for a bit, as the outside temperature dropped to around only 1C. . AT LAST - ebay have sent me a (automated?) message @ 19:34hrs!!!!! Case # xxxxxxxxxx: Buyer contacted Customer Support. Hello T, The buyer has asked Customer Support to review this case and make a final decision. We'll get back to you within 48 hours. You can view the details of this case in the Resolution Centre. . . .hadn't at all intended to, but ended up aimlessly PCing for hours! I was actually STILL online when I got another message around 01:25hrs. I couldn't believe it! Dear T, Customer Support has reviewed the case and made a final decision. We've decided not to issue the buyer with a refund. You don't need to do anything else for this case. The hold on this PayPal transaction has been removed. This case is closed. Decision: This case has been decided in your favour. The hold on this PayPal transaction has been removed. Comments: Based on information provided in the case, the item may no longer be in the same condition it was in when it was sent to the buyer. The buyer won't be able to return this item for a refund. You don't need to do anything else. This won't be counted when we evaluate seller performance. Note: It may take up to 24 hours to update your Seller Dashboard. Well I'll be damned. I REALLY hadn't expected that. I guess I 'should' be 'pleased' - but I'm not particularly. I've been through my own personal hell over this. The 'final' (if it is?!) outcome, has largely long since become completely irrelevant to me! Maybe I just need time to digest this message? . . . ate corned beef sandwiches, crisps, a banana and a large amount of biscuits . . to bed around 3:30am or later. I didn't notice it until we were going to bed but Bella appears to have bashed her head on something and has a nasty scrape under her fur there! Poor dog!!! She really is her own worst enemy! Always rampaging around, bashing into stuff and causing damage to herself!!!
5 - Up around 7:30am. 14C in, 2C out. Weird weather, with such wildly varying temperatures from one day to the next. Grey and threatening more showers, before eventually sunny spells. .woke at the PC (Bella gnawed on herself in the living room again) . . walked FGn and sat in the VERY cold sun for as long as I could stand. Took the scanner with me this morning and heard amateurs over Dorset way talking about how it was snowing over there! Eventually headed home and got slightly caught in a bit of a sleety shower just before getting back. . . 'Brewing up' to at some point hopefully giving Bella a shower and shampoo in the bath, I dared to put her three big muddy towels in the washing machine. Definitely tempting fate, but suprisingly the washing machine managed to keep working and got them 'slightly' cleaner than they were. It would appear reports of the death of my washing machine are currently somewhat exagerated? I guess I'll just keep on using it - to destruction, (despite the awful bearing noise, dangerous drum wobble and banging - sorry neighbours!) until it suddenly stops one day (soon) and leaves me in the lurch. . . got Bellas towels out on the line in some sun for a bit, before having to race out and bring them back in when another wintry shower passed through around midday. . did dish washing chores . . . armed myself with a couple of gravy bones and encouraged Bella into the bathroom and then managed to pick her up (oh my poor back!) and put her in the bath without 'too' much panic or protest from her. Just let her sit there for a bit and even got her to lay down in the dry bath, before eventually lifting her back out (with greater difficulty - and a bit of a whine!) - praising her and treating her with bits of gravy bones throughout. Assuming my aching back can take it, I intend to 'try' to make a habit of doing that from time to time over the coming days, in an attempt to get her used to the idea. Ultimately hopefully being able to add warm water to the excercise from the electric shower can wait!!!! I am NOT optomistic this is gonna go well. Without any handles on the bath, I can't in ANY way 'restrain' her when she's in there. If it all goes horribly wrong and she panics and goes 'airbourne' at some point (like she can - without warning - at a moments notice!), I really am in danger of destroying the fibreglass bath and tiny cramped bathroom - and of course traumatising her so much, she'll never go near the room again, and that'll be that for evermore! :o( . . . headachey. PCd a bit of this early afternoon as more sleety wintry showers descended . . ate a banana, pastry slice, crisps, mini cheddars and a couple of squares of chocolate . . . napped until the alarm at 7:30pm. Difficulty waking . . .rain and blowing a gale again with good 40mph gusts (but at least from a more northerly direction, so no wailing from my PC room window at the moment). Skipped the walk. . TVd . . radiod locally for a bit . . aimlessly PCd . . .TVd whilst grooming Bella for absolutely ages with the useless flea comb. Couldn't find a single flea on her - as usual, although her underlying skin is in a poor poor state again, with plenty of little bits of scabby dandruff-like skin ALL throughout her fur!!! :o( . . . ate two ham rolls, crisps and a tin of soup . .Mum gave me a bottle of Baileys at Christmas. The trouble with me being given such rare treats, is I keep on putting off opening it and continue 'saving it' - indefinitely! Actually persuaded myself to open it this evening, and sipped a tiny shot-glass full in the early hours (while watching Dads Army on the IPlayer). Very nice stuff. If I had money, I could very easily make a habit of that - in larger quantities! . . to bed around 3am.
4 - Up around 7:40am. 15C in, 9C out. . woke at the PC while Bella gnawed on herself in the living room again. Even PCd a bit reading up on canine skin complaints etc - again! . . walked FGn. Picked through Bellas coat as we sat at the usual seat and would you f***in' believe it - I found a flea on her!!! I just DON'T believe it! I just DON'T believe it! So she's all flea infested again/still then? Well what a marvelllous investment that £32 vet-pescribed flea collar was just a little over a month ago! I am absolutely at my whits end here. What AM I supposed to do? . . . straight back to feeling utterly overwhelmed and frankly just beat. Just beat withall. Gave Bella a flea tablet - which she refused to eat and I had to force it down her throat! Only two of those left. I despair, I really do. . . Mum called to touch base . . showered and got clean . . rang the doctors surgery receptionist (again - AFTER 11:30am as is required) asking for the results from the swab the doctor took last week. The receptionist was only able to confirm the swab results were 'ok' and that I WAS accordingly on the correct antbiotics. I DID try to get her to tell me what 'actual' type of bacteria had caused the infection, but she didn't know, and started suggesting she would have to make an appointment for me to speak to the doctor about it in a couple of days. I quickly 'bailed' from that suggestion - so I guess I'll never know. Shame - I'd like to have known, to potentially be able to be on guard against a repeat - AND in case it had 'implications' for the care of Bella and her skin complaints etc, etc! . . with time running out, despite being definitely NOT in the mood to have to do so, I read through all the blurb and filled out the health questionaire I'd been sent, and then left Bella at home and walked to the nearby dental practice - to 'enlist'! I WAS pretty nervous, but it turned out to be just the formality of registering with the receptionist, clarifying a couple of my answers on their questionaire, booking an 'initial examination' appointment, and paying-in-advance the £17.50 NHS examination charge. I was thankfully presented with NO reasons to get 'upset' about anything in particular (as I'd imagined I may, being a 'sub human' NHS patient and all!). The dentist I am booked to see, will allegedly be a woman. That's a good thing (for me) in some ways. I'd much rather be forced to be 'tolerant' of a woman in my mouth causing me pain, rather than a man for some reason. Men are c**p at the best of times - combine male with dentist, and 'I' can have a big problem before we've even started! There CAN however be a 'negative' about having a woman dentist, which I HAVE encountered in the past. In simple terms, a woman 'can' have less in the way of biceps. When having extractions, this CAN definitely be an issue. I recall attending the Bristol Dental Hospital many years ago - and having a female student attempt to pull one of my teeth out. She tried and tried, and oh boy did it hurt, but eventually she just couldn't, so someone else - male and larger - was then brought in to swiftly finish the lengthy torture! I don't relish the prospect of a repeat of THAT! . Lets hope she's a big butch lesbian? lolololol . I was back out with a little card containing a computersied appointment reminder in no more than five minutes. WHAT a relief! lol It didn't fully register until I was soon back home - I'd thought it was for next week for some reason - but the appointment they'd made is actually for the middle of April! That (for ME) is gonna take some remembering! On the bottom of the reminder it states "A fee will be charged for any missed appointments or cancellation without 24 hours notice." It doesn't say how much! . . . dared to do some laundry, and suprisingly completed it without the washing machine packing up. Phew. :o) Got it all out on the line in the breeze and sun to dry. . . vacuumed around the WHOLE house, including under all the living room furniture, and then emptied out the last of the can of flea spray on the carpets, Bellas bed and all around the place until it was all gone. . . PCd and with little choice (again!), after poking around on the net for a bit, I threw YET more money away and ordered 'things'. 'Johnsons 4fleas tablets for large dogs over 11kg. 6 treatment pack' x 2 for £9.37 inc postage. 'Bob Martin home spray plus Kills fleas ticks 500ml' x2 for £15 inc postage. Ordered BOTH of those on e-bay!! This ongoing e-bay dispute that I'm trapped in, has TOTALLY put me off the idea of now ever using e-bay for ANYTHING ever again! A typically 'avoidant', knee-jerk reaction perhaps? Trouble with that is, as long as you stick to business type sellers with a 'buy it now' option, it IS hard to beat some of the prices - and ignoring that, isn't a luxury I can afford! So - despite my reluctance to do so, I DID order all that from ebay sellers! Nevertheless, I (currently) can't imagine EVER buying anything that's listed on there by private individuals for auction EVER again. Nor can I envisage listing anything for sale MYSELF again - and run the risk of having it all go horribly wrong like it just has. That 'I no longer feel 'safe' to list stuff I have for sale' thing, poses something of a significant problem for me! I have a bunch of stuff I WAS likely going to eventually list - noteably the FT767 with all its faults for spares/repair (and the enormous £££ loss it will incur for me) - and of course all the damned morse keys I've been collecting! God only knows how the hell I'm gonna be able to get rid of it all if I 'can't' now list it on ebay?! :o( Other less important stuff IS now sadly just going straight in the bin!!!! . . desperate to try ANYTHING that 'could' just 'maybe' help with this ever losing 'Aliens' (flea) battle, I even ended up ordering something else - from Amazon this time. An electric 'STV020 Flea Killer', a twin pack of spare lamps, and a triple pack of sticky paper refills - all for £14.65! ALL of this is gonna be just yet more money poured down the drain isn't it!! I know it is! Nevertheless, that gimmicky electric killer (which I'm sure is complete toss) DOES appear to have some reputation as something that does appear to work - a bit at least. I'm hoping that if nothing else, it'll catch a couple and give me advanced warning that I'm still in trouble around the house, rather than have to simply rely on seeing one ON Bella - which IS oh SO difficult what with her close knit black fur and all. Based on what I've read about it, the thing I can't get my head around is, it uses the warmth of a light bulb to attract the fleas to a sticky capturing pad. Everything I know about fleas suggests, they don't like light, and will actively race away from it (when I part Bellas fur etc). Why all of a sudden are they gonna go leaping out of a carpet towards a light bulb?? Doesn't make sense to me. GOTTA be a waste of money. GOTTA try it though. GOTTA try EVERYTHING (while I still have the savings to do so!!) for poor Bella's sake. :o( . . . not sure why, but having done 'something' at least, in an attempt to TRY to fight back just a little, enabled me to feel a little more in control of myself. So much so, I even set off with Bella (on BOTH leads!) and headed straight down town, to have a look in a (newish) pet store I've never been in before, and see what sort of anti flea shampoo they may have. They were actually just closing as I got there, so I didn't actually get to go IN the place - but the owner (with a polecat in her arms!) was at the door and went and got me whatever she did - so I just kinda went ahead and bought it! A tiny 125ml bottle of 'Johnsons Dog Flea Shampoo' for £2.59!!! I have NEVER properly washed a dog in my life YET - and haven't a CLUE how I'm going to manage it - but since it's about the only thing I haven't yet tried, I figure I have NO choice but to eventually somehow give it a go!! :o( . . walked around the harbour a bit and then drew out some cash before eventually heading alongside the outer harbor and up to BGdns. Sat in the increasing cold and twilight and played ball for a bit (as a couple of guys drank their bottles of beer and smoked a joint, in/on the gun emplacement right in front of me). Eventually returned home around 6pm via the store for some milk and with a very small stone for the garden. That WAS actually a not unpleasant walk for a change (although probably because I used BOTH leads on her, as and when necessary). Thank you Bella - I needed that. . . TVd . . guitarred just breifly . . ate two quarter pound burgers in bread rolls with a pile of chips. I am strangely in the mood to expand on 'chips'!!! lololol That small word typed here does not adequately convey what that actually entails for me. I do chips the old fashioned way - peel and chip potatoes - and deep fry them in a chip pan of vegetable oil. Remember - I don't have central heating or any hot water on tap. When I stand at the sink at length, peeling potatoes, it is with my hands in a bowl of cold tap water. At this time of year, that water is PAINFUL cold. (Always the same every time I wash my hands thoughout the day - painful cold.) When the chips are plunged into the hot oil to cook, HUGE amounts of condensation fills the air. Even when frying burgers or any other such meat, the same happens these days because of all the (outrageously) added water they can now get away with. There is SO much potentially damaging moisture suddenly added to the atmosphere, I ALWAYS close the doors to the rest of the house, and have the kitchen window and back door to the garden open, to get a draught blowing through to clear it. THIS is how I ALWAYS cook stuff - no matter how cold it is outside. So - dip my hands in freezing cold water for ten minutes - then stand around in near freezing temperatures while the things cook! I'm not particularly complaining - it's just how it is for me, and pretty much ALWAYS has been. Strikes me this has far more to do with how people used to live in the past, than it does with how most people live here today? Anyway - enough of 'chips'! lololol . . . TVd the 'Richard III' program which was on - about how his remains have just been confirmed to be those discovered under a council car park!! A sadly disappointing program I felt. Seemed to want to concentrate FAR too much on the weird woman who was apparantly responsible for the finding (and her freakishly like Art Garfunkel, weird friend, with his painfully laborious sense of 'humour'!). The woman seemed to spend her whole existance getting 'emotional' on camera - which of course the dumb film makers and zooming-in cameraman absolutely delighted in! For ME - it made what could have been a REALLY interesting program, into some sort of dumbed-down, tediously repetative, 'how does it make you feel' nonsense. You COULD even see bemusement in the faces of some of the other people around her, as she embarked on her NEXT predictable near swooning. Drama queen - needed a slap I reckon - and I 'think' I spotted someone who WOULD have happily given her one! lolol . . .ate biscuits and very nearly fell asleep in my chair, before to bed before midnight and before the forecast rain arrived.
3 - Woke earlier, then up (AFTER having cuddled and fussed Bella on the bed next to me for a bit- feeling guilty about my behavior towards her and my comments about her here yesterday) around 7:45am, feeling nauseas and threatening to be sick - again. Managed to contain it just. 15C in, 5C out, grey and breezy. . .walked Fgn with Bella on her halti again - which IS gonna be the regime for her for the forseeable future, to give ME a much needed break, and for our 'relationship' not to be further damaged by my losing my temper with her EVERY day! Amazing how wearing the halti makes her a completely different dog??? After a couple of 'rough' checks with it when just starting out, she then walks alongside me 'almost' faultlessly the whole way, without me losing my temper and needing to continualy pull her back on the noose lead or keep stopping every two paces to get her back into position like is more usual. . . sat around in front the TV again, but definitely feeling 'not as bad' as yesterday. . actually managed to 'do' just a little something. Spent the rest of the morning and into the afternoon sewing!! The multi pocket bodywarmer I 'live' in, had recently developed a 'hole' in my dedicated camcorder pocket where the stiching had disintegrated (as factory stitching ALWAYS seems to ffs!), and I've not been carrying the camera for a while as a result. I almost never film anything these days, but don't like walking without a camera on me nonetheless, 'just in case'. Lots of the little squares of velcro which fasten all the pockets had also long-since started to fall off. Anyway - plenty of sewing repairs, long overdue. Took hours - squinting through my glasses and perched on the edge of the chair near the window, so there was enough light for me to 'just' about be able to see to do it! It certainly isn't pretty, but I got the repairs done well enough to not be particularly noticeable, and put some life back in the old muddy rag for a while longer yet. :o) It could do with a wash, but of course I'm 'saving' what will probably be the last time I'm able to use the washing machine! :o( . . ate a couple of ham rolls, crisps, mini cheddars and the last almond tart thing . . around 15:10 in the afternoon there was a LOUD crashing bang from next door! SO loud, it saw me check every room and even had me go out into the gardens both front and back to make sure the chimney stack and aerials were still up there! Nothing visible anywhere????? It was SUCH a crash, it really had me worried that something/someone next door could be in trouble or collapsed or some such. (Haven't heard a bang like that since PS was last here and hit the floor with his face! lol) Happened to see the neighbor on the other side going out to his car, who confirmed the noise (which he'd not heard) wasn't from them. It really was SUCH a crash, I even ultimately went and knocked on the other neighbor's front door (and listened closely in case I could hear shouts for help), but there was no answer or any signs of life in the place. Oh well - maybe it WAS from the neighbor the other side, and it's just my dodgey/failing ears playing tricks on me? Why the hell do I care - they certainly wouldn't about me! . . napped until around 6:15pm . . walked Bgdns (overheating in layers. Suddenly up around 9C tonight!?) with Bella on the halti again. Very nearly faultless. GOOD dog. Sat on the still draped in tinsel seat for a bit before eventualy returning around 8:30pm. . settled infront the TV and watched a rare couple of hours of EXCELLENT TV. Professor Brian Cox talking science - or perhaps more accurately 'sense'. 'Wonders of Life' (how the senses evolved) and 'A Night With The Stars' (challenging concepts in physics). . boy, I feel 'better' than yesterday. Thank god! Drank a glass of red wine. So - why do I feel better today then? Nothing has changed. Being all 'sciency' after having watched those marvellous shows - I can ONLY be feeling 'better', surely for only two reasons? Passage of time and chemical composition of me - the only two variables - which I'm inclined to think can actually still be boiled down to just the one? Chemical composition. So - when did I eat - and how much of what, did I eat - and how could any of that have such an influence on how I'm now feeling/thinking (and why the f*** don't the majority of other people experience such radical and uncontrollable effects)? I'm sick and tired of spending my life trying to work it all out all the time! . I just can't be bothered, but I DO wonder if I shouldn't research those antibiotic tablets and see EXACTLY what THEY were actually composed of - just in case?! . . PCd this . . leave Bella alone for an hour and what do I find when I go back downstairs? She's been licking/biting herself raw again. WHAT is going on here! She's ONLY doing it when I'm not 'in attendance'! Is this some sort of mad-dog anxiety thing or what????? WHAT a right pair we are! Shut the door and FORCED her to stay in the PC room with me whilst I finished typing this . . .ate a pastry slice, tin of baked beans and a little grated cheese followed by just a couple of biscuits . . to bed around 3am.
2 - Woke at 6:30am and up a short time later. 14C in, 3C out. . . PCd. Well - I finally got a response from ebay, and predictably it's of NO help at all. It even rather smacks of a poorly edited standardised response to a BUYER, which really doesn't in ANY way reply to MY message to them! Hello Terry, Thank you for contacting eBay Customer Service about the radio (item xxxxxxxxxxxx) that you purchased from "xxxxxxx". I understand that you listed the item in good faith, and I?m sorry to hear that your buyer opened a ?Significantly Not As Described? case for this item, and I will be more than willing to clarify this matter. Terry, after reviewing the case I can see that the dispute has been filed last 29 January 2013 , you have 8 days to reply to you buyer and offer a resolution which is on 9 February 2013. There are a couple of different ways to resolve a case in the Resolution Centre: 1) Offering a partial refund This allows the buyer to keep the item and helps you avoid having to issue a full refund or send a new item. You and the buyer can use the Resolution Centre to agree on a specific amount that would be acceptable. Once you have agreed an amount, you should issue a partial refund within 3 days. 2) Offering a full refund If the buyer wants a full refund (that covers the item cost and original postage), they must return the item to you. We'll ask the buyer to send you the item, with tracking information within 10 days. You should issue a refund within 3 days of receiving the returned item. If the buyer paid by PayPal, you can log in to PayPal and refund them directly. Once the case has been resolved, you'll receive a Final Value Fee credit. 3) Provide documentation that the item was properly described If you can show that an item was properly described, the case can be closed in your favour. Here are some examples of descriptions that match the item: -The buyer states that the item is used, not new, and the listing clearly describes the item as used. - A defect in the item was correctly described by the seller. The item was properly described, but the buyer didn't want it after receiving it. 4) Have Customer Support review the case Finally, you can choose the 'Have Customer Support review this case' option. When you choose this option, you're asking eBay to make a decision. Keep in mind that eBay's decision on a case is final. If we decide in favour of the buyer, reimbursement may be deducted from your PayPal or other reimbursement payment method AT this point, I strongly suggest that you contact your buyer through phone. In our experience, in our experience a friendly conversation often resolved issues like these. -//- If the buyer doesn't reply to your case after 8 days, please click the escalate option within the Resolution Centre. eBay will then review the case and make a decision on your case within 48 - 72 hours.Here is how to escalate your case:1. Log in to My eBay 2. Go to Account. 3. Choose Resolution Centre then choose the case that you filed. 4. Choose Respond to Case in blue text. 5. Choose Escalate Case to eBay Customer Support 6. Then click on Submit. Remember, you can check the status of your case at any time in the Resolution Centre in My eBay.For more information on what to do if you don't receive an item, copy this link into a new browser window: http://pages.ebay.co.uk/help/buy/item-not-received-buyer.html I trust this information is helpful and wish you all the best for your future trading on eBay. Kind regards, xxxx xxxxxx eBay Customer Service . There currently is no 'Have Customer Support review this case' option displayed on the automated resolution centre. It effectively ONLY gives ME two options. Either make a refund, or respond to the buyer with another message - and of course it is still suggesting it is 'I' who needs to respond to the buyers last message! :o( I guess I have to assume that I must sit tight and await the return of the radio - and for 9th February to arrive? Since this info states 'You should issue a refund within 3 days of receiving the returned item', what happens if the radio arrives back here before 9th of Feb? This pointless response was NO help to me AT ALL! :o( . . .walked FGn under a clear blue sky with a cold sun. Bella gave me a hard time on her lead, pulling ahead and refusing to walk to heal as ever - and boy was I brutally not in the mood! . . recovered from the walk in the cold sun in the back garden with a coffee for bit. What a mess. . . walked up the local store for a few supplies with Bella - and had to endure a repeat of her earlier not walking to heal behavior. REALLY wish I'd never got her. REALLY! And I'm sure she longs for the same. It's all I have isn't it - walking the dog - and she makes it a miserable, MISERABLE experience, every single f***ing time we do it. It turned into a nice day - could have been a nice day to go out for a walk with a dog - but not with HER. I LOATH having to walk her. Absolutely hate it - and that's all I have to look forward to isn't it! . . tried to PC a bit looking at washing machines, but couldn't tolerate the chore for long and soon gave up. Infinite choice of models - infinite range of prices - guaranteed to all go horribly wrong for ME in some way, whichever I end up going for - so why bother?. . . just sat, aimless and oh so VERY awfully down. I AM not at all 'functioning' right now, and AM about as low as I go. Trying every trick in the book to battle with my mind and get a grip - but - really, what's the f***ing point? What IS there to look forward to in this pathetic empty existance of mine other than things getting ever worse in some way? Always has. Even in some fantasy alternate reality, I can't even actually imagine any possible alternative.. . . Mum called in with the papers and food donations. I couldn't pretend I could tolerate her presence, and rudely encouraged her to soon leave . . . got warm wrapped in the duvet and slept until around 6pm . . .eventually walked FGn with a coffee (with Bella back on her halti - and roughly treated with it! :o( ) and sat around in the near freezing temperatures under the star filled sky for around an hour or so. ON the halti (after a handful of brutal corrections!! :o( ) , Bella is just a completely different, comparatively rather 'well-behaved' (hah!) dog. Why the f*** can't she act like that when on her normal 'noose' lead!! I hate having her wear the halti (she does too - now! :o( ) , and its such a hassle to put on and take off when out, AND I can't tie her up outside shops etc with it. . Walked a long way back around a couple of blocks for no good reason - and because Bella, thanks to the halti, was making it easy for once . . . sat in front the TV, aimless for hours more . . PCd a bit of this from within the down. Ooops - there goes another hour or two of blankly staring at the screen! . .eventually returned to the living room to find Bella had been gnawing on herself again! :o( . . . . .Just couldn't stand any more and left Bella inside and - well - ended up sat in the car up the garden in the freezing dark for a bit!!! :o( . . . . . . eventually forced myself to eat. Two corned beef rolls, crisps, mini cheddars, mini pork pie and two small almond tarts - and felt doubly unwell as a result! . . .to bed around 2:30am or later.
1 - Woke at 5:50am and couldn't get back to sleep, so up pretty soon after. 15C in, 7C out. . .tu . .Took the last of my course of antibiotic tablets. Should have had it last night but forgot. WHAT a relief not to have to be taking those any more. They DO seem to have entirely resolved my leaky head/infection problem. I trust whatever was in them hasn't in any way had a hand in turning me into the complete basket-case the recent silly silly events have made me!!!!!? I'm sure they haven't, but glad to be free of them just in case! . . . PCd a bit of this. .raining . . got all my waterproofs on and set out to walk. By the time I'd opened the front door it'd pretty much stopped raining. Walked the deep mud of FGn all overdressed, as sunny spells eventually began to appear . . . hosed Bella down in the garden and then recommenced just exisiting in front the TV all morning . . touched base with D and cancelled his intended visit this evening. . .PCd. I'm getting sick and tired of constantly checking the PC every hour or two for messages from e-bay, only to find there never are any! I haven't even had an automated acknowledgement of my last message to customer support, just to further increase my anxiety! :o( Despite already explicitely requesting ebay decide on the matter, their normal procedure would 'appear' to suggest that they don't get involved until after seven days from when the case was opened. So - I'll be in this 'state' for a good while longer then! :o( .STILL no sign of the radio arriving back here. Isn't that what the buyer should have done? Sent it STRAIGHT back? Maybe it's still in the snail mail. I AM eager to have a look at it's current condition. VERY eager - in certain 'specific' areas. ;o| . . .PCd this at length - but with SO much of my own personal little existance of hell this last couple of days, not typed. I can't for the life of me work out why this has hit me oh SO badly! It really has turned me into a complete basket case!!!! There is nothing BUT this for me right now. All for something SO silly and insignificant. I'm in SUCH a state over all this - I DO wonder if I shouldn't have just given him a refund! Its a poxy £75 something after all. I've 'lost myself' to all this for DAYS now - it's just NEVER worth it! Come on ebay - just bloody finish it for gods sake - either way! This is torture. . . feel permanantly sick all the time!? Forced down three bananas and a few chocolate biscuits. . . fitfully napped until around 6pm . . . skipped the walk . . TVd . . 'forced' myself to put the scanner on and listen to a little of the local club net, before ending up on the PC/radios for just a short while. . .drank a glass of red wine and cooked up mashed potato with chopped onion, peas and a whole £1 pack of now out-of-date Mum donated sausages. Hell of a struggle but managed to eat it all. . . to bed around midnight.