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- Woke . walked . a break in the weather so I retreived the ladder from the garage, walked it all the way down the lane and round to the front of the house and had a look at the leaky front bay windows. I was actually rather suprised to find most of everything in 'fairly' good shape. Hmmm. So - it MUST be the actual windows themselves that are letting the rain in, around the old perished glazing seals (which aren't even rubber it would appear!)! . . .drove to Mums to pick up the white textured masonary paint that I'd left there years ago, when I'd half painted the inside of her garage. Still liquid and quite useable. . painted around the bay under the bedroom window cill (filling in the hairline crack that was there) and deliberately overlapped onto the underside of the overhanging cill, to make it as water resistant as possible. Put on several layers, building up a thick coat throught the morning. Used some of the brown mastik I still had left over, and had a go at putting a thin bead of it along the edge of the glass at the bottom of all the windows, which is the only place I can find where the rain MUST be getting in. . painted more . .scraped and sanded in the bedroom . .walked early (bought 25g of tobacco for 5.59 ) and had me a beer in the woods . . .ate four burgers, sausages, chips and bread and butter!. . touched base with BB briefly before bed around 11pm. ppd
2 - Woke walked scraped and sanded . . Mum popped in . .ate sausage rolls and shortbread biscuits . . .napped . walked . . TVd . .touched base with BB . . ate Mum donated ham rolls . TVd until bed around midnight. pps
3 - Woke earlier, snoozed on then up around 7am . . walked. For the last few days I've been passing a carrier bag of litter, someone had thrown up into a tree. It appeared to be maybe just at fingertip height, so I figured eventually I'd have a go at getting it down out of the branches and take it to the bin. there was no one around so I had a go at it this morning. I tried bending the branch it was hung up on, only to find that branch was dead and the whole thing just snapped off and crashed to the ground! Grabbed the carrier bag of litter, only to find it actually still had a full can of beer inside!! Ended up walking home with a can of John Smiths!!! lol . .drove to the DIY store for more wallpaper adhesive and two rolls of differing thickness lining paper 12.77. Actually arrived a good half an hour before the store opened! Didn't seem worth driving all the way home again so I sat it out in their car park. . . - worked on the bedroom -.
4 - Woken by Sally around 6am . . .walked . . sanded and 'sized' one of the walls in the front bedroom. Filled - plastered the wall by the bay window - messed with the curtain track - moved the light switch without 'too' much hassle. :o) . . ran out of steam all exhausted, ate a chicken and bacon pastry slice with crisps and biscuits and then just sat around for the rest of the afternoon, too tired to move. . walked . . TVd . . ate bowls of corn flakes . . TVd until bed before 11pm. pp
5 - Woke just before 6am with a back/headache . . walked in the sun. Just up the road in the gutter was a grass snake!! Carefuly picked it up and relocated it into a bit of undergrowth at the edge of someones garden . . PCd this - worked on the bedroom -. ppa
6 - . . walked - worked on the bedroom - walked!!? pp
7 - . . walked - worked on the bedroom - drove to withdraw some cash and buy 50g of tobacco 10.80 - walked!!? pp
8 - Woke - walked - drove to the DIY store for more supplies (got there before it opened at 8am) 46.09 - worked on the bedroom - the doctors surgery called and said the coounsellor had a cancellation and she would see me today if convenient

left Sally at home and walked to the counsellor session. At the end of the session she asked if I wanted some 'homework'!! lol She loaned me a book to read. 'Overcoming Social Anxiety And Shyness. A self-help guide using Cognitive Behavioral Techniques' by Gillian Butler

.napped . . walked.pp
9 - Up around 6am . . walked in the hot sun. . in the bedroom painting by 8am. Spent the whole morning painting white emulsion on all the walls and the ceiling. Once again, several bits of the lining paper 'bubbled' away from the wall during the painting! :o( Wish I could figure out why that happens so I could make sure it doesn't. Could be any number of things - didn't 'size' the wall enough? Didn't paste the paper properly? Cheap emulsion paint too watery? Etc, etc? Who knows. SUCH a disappointment after having worked SO hard to get a decent flat finish on the walls. .somewhere around 10am, in the middle of my painting with 'Virgin Radio' on for company, I became aware of the sound of sirens in the distance and glanced out of the window. Oh my god! Across the valley in the distance, a house (or are those flats?) was on fire!!!! On fire proper - nasty!! Rushed for my camcorder and took a couple of still shots on high zoom as the drama developed. Distant house fireThe fire brigade started off by hosing the front of the place from ground level, but strangely quite soon that seemed to stop. Presumably the firemen had actually entered the building and were tackling it from inside. Assuming that WAS what was going on, it was disturbing and distressing to see things appear to get much worse with flames actually become visible, licking out of the window!!! Eventually I guess things were brought under control, and all that remained for quite some time was a huge billow of steam and smoke drifting across the town. Horrible thing a house fire, even assuming no one was hurt. All someones possessions, personal effects, sentimental stuff, photos, etc etc - just gone like that. Awful. :o( Sobering. Made all the effort involved in my decorating, suddenly seem horribly pointless. . . called it quits around midday and was washing brushes when Mum called in with the paper and food donations . . sits and chats for a couple of hours. God I'm exhausted! . . ate Mum donated sausage rolls with crisps and then some biscuits . . napped for an hour or so . .fixed the radiator back on the wall in the bedroom and then had to have the heating on to check it was all ok and water tight - on one of the hottest, sunniest days of the year so far - again! lol . . walked . .a weird sea mist gradually rolled in over the town. Weird to see it travel up the valley and obscure the opposite side of town while I was still in sunshine. Eventually it 'rolled in' over the tress at the top of the road and drifted down over my house too. Weird - and atmospheric with some booming fog horn audible in the far distance. 'The Fog' ? lol . . back to the bedroom and laboriously painted a top coat of gloss paint all around the window frame and cill until around 10pm or later! 'Needed' to get that done as soon as possible, so I could try and get the curtain track and some curtains back up . . touched base with BB . . ate ham rolls with crisps and then some chocolate and TVd until bed around midnight. pps
10 - walked . .had a go at washing the dust covered cushions from the cane chair (left by the previous occupants in the sun room) I've been using in the bedroom. Filled the bath with soapy water, put the cushions in it and then treaded on them barefoot, like crushing grapes before putting them out in the sun all day on the rotary clothes line! . . tidied up just a little and then fixed the curtain track back up and hung the curtains I used to have up in the living room bay window in Bristol. They don't really 'go' in there, but they are the only ok-ish ones I have that will actually reach around the bay window (just! When pulled tight!), so they'll do for the time being. Once again because it's so small, it's impossible to get a single photo of the room! This bent collage of six shots gives an 'impression' of its current unfinished state. The small section of firebreast wall enclosed between the fitted wardrobes I have yet to attend to and is still woodchip. The deep red coloured woodchip beneath the shelf, is how the whole room looked before I started - with dark brown wood all around the bay window!!!! See - it HAD to be done! lol . . Mum called to say Sis1 would be down later and would be popping in to see the house . .tidied up around the place just a little . . put the dark 'mustard' (?!) coloured curtains I'd been using in the bedroom (originally in the PC room) through the wash and out on the line to dry. A bit sun-faded in parts but they should still be good, complete with the tie backs and matching lamp shade, for a charity shop donation some time . . wired up the new double power socket I've put in the bay beneath the bedroom window. . ate ham sandwiches with crisps and then succumbed to my exhaustion and HAD to go lay down for a bit. . woken by Sis1 calling (I'd kinda slept through the earlier ansaphone call from Mum) saying they'd be popping down ..

. . walked . . drank a tin of strong lager and got tipsy . . ate spam sandwiches, crisps, biscuits and some Mum donated chocolate raisins . .touched base with BB . . TVd until bed before 11pm. ppd
11 - Woke in the early hours, back to bed then up at 6am with a headache. . walked under thick grey cloud . .PCd a bit of this for the first time in around a week!! Hardly know what day it is! The last week or more (or is it several years?) is just an exhausting blurr of decorating/filling/plastering/wiring/papering/painting etc etc. Still much to do but I guess I've definitely 'broken the back of it' in that room. God I need a break! :o( . .burned a trio of CDs of the baby photos I took on the 11th of March, for Sis1, K and J to have. . left Sally at home and drove to pick Mum up and then drove to Paignton see where Sis1 and all the clan are spending their weeks holiday . . Mum somehow knew pretty much where it was. We parked up in the nearby multi storey car park for a couple of hours and then walked and soon found the place. .newish build place - very well appointed! HUGE bathroom!! . . coffee and chats with everyone until the expiring car park time was our excuse to leave. .dropped Mum home, picked up the bone she had for Sally and then straight back home with my worsening headache and increasing exhaustion. . ate Mum donated corned beef sandwiches with crisps, some biscuits and then just HAD to go and lay down. Slept right through from around 2pm until pretty much 6pm!!!! . . . walked . . sat in the garden and briefly attempted a bit of meditation, but that was totally unsuccessful and didn't last long. Even wiped the thick layers of dust off the guitar and made a bit of a noise for a bit (after having cut all my getting-stuck-in-the-fretboard fingernails!) . . TVd . . touched base with BB . . ate a fried ham ring sandwich, chocolate, biscuits and then bowls of corn flakes . . .TVd/PCd until bed around 2am. ppa
12 - Woken by Sally earlier, growled at her to go away and managed to sleep on for a bit longer until around 7:45am . . walked . . back just in time to catch the call from the doctor. He seems to be resistant to letting me have two months supply of fluoxetine, despite me assuring him it was just an attempt by me to save some money. For some reason he said he would like to see me to see how I'm doing (I fail to see the point) and suggested a 10:30 appointment . . PCd briefly . . left Sally at home and walked to the doctors. Sat around in the waiting room until around 10:50am before finally being summoned in. Apparantly, whoever that doctor was (the one I'm actually registered with I think), I hadn't met him yet and that was why he wanted to see me. The briefest of chats, pretty much for me to assure him I wouldn't be committing suicide by taking all the fluoxetine at once I think, and then he relented and agreed to write out the script. for two months supply. . dropped the repeat prescription into the nearby chemist, paid the 6.85 fee and confirmed I could pick it up a little later rather than have to sit and wait . . walked around all the charity shops and then shopped for a couple of carrier bags of supplies before picking up the medication on the way home . .breif look in a local garden supplies place on the way past. They appear to have wooden fence posts like the one I need to replace in the back garden. Different lengths but all around 6. It isn't the cost that is the problem. It's gonna be the difficulty of doing it. :o( . . . ate ham rolls, crisps and some chocolate before having to lay back down real early. . slept right through until almost 5pm! Yep - I think with all that decorating, I've 'burned out' and run out of energy for a bit! Although I'm not sure 'decorating' really does justice to what I'm doing. It's more like a once in every fifty years redecoration + !!! SO exhausted. Hardly feel I have the energy to just walk Sally! :o( . . .PCd this . . . walked . . sat in the front garden for a bit and even had a go at a bit of meditation on a suitably shallow step a couple down from the front door. . .ate four ham, lettuce and tomatoe rolls - with difficulty! That wobbly tooth of mine is really starting to be a problem. Quite simply, I'm losing my ability to bite! :o( . . touched base with BB . . TVd until bed around midnight. pps
13 - Woken more than once by what turned out to be the sound of Sally's claws on the bare floorboards in the front bedroom!! I'd left the door open and she'd decided she'd sleep in there tonight!?? Weird dog. . up around 7:15am . . walked . . balanced my accounts . . pottered around a bit and ended up managing to screw the drawer back onto my PC unit on the other side from where it really belongs. Not 'much' use, but better than not having it at all I guess. . ate black pudding, fried spam and chips . .moved my bed around in the back bedroom trying to give me just a little more space and ended up putting both matresses on top of the bed frame. Actually should have done that long ago - it raises me up, just enough for my feet not to have to find a way of uncomfortably poking through the bottom bit of the bed frame!!! . . TVd/PCd/sat around. Rain showers . . walked . . PCd and ended up having a bit of a bash at scratching the surface of reinstating 'some' of my website. Assuming I'm going to keep it going, it's gonna take a while to sort out what I want to keep and what has to go - and of course a whole bunch will have to be re-written! . . touched base with BB . .hungry but just couldn't be bothered to wash dishes and make anything, so I ended up just eating biscuits, a banana and a packet of crisps. That couple of hours on the PC has wiped me out! . .TVd until bed around midnight. pp
14 - Woke late around 8am. Torrential rain. . walked in full rubber gear only for the rain to have stopped by the time I was walking back . . PCd this . . had a bit of a 'go' at some of the bedroom floorboards. Looks as though some sticky carpet tape has been used at some time, all around the skirtings. Devil of a job to remove it. :o( . . . ate ham, cheese, lettuce and tomato bread rolls with crisps and then a bunch of biscuits . . napped . . walked and bought milk and tobacco (50g @ 11) on the way home. . sat in the garden for the best part of an hour 'tending to my addiction'. Things are so tight with me NOT giving up smoking yet, and having to pay the astonishingly high shop prices, I've taken to trying to cut down how much I smoke AND - have started re-cycling my dog ends!!!!!!! I collect them all up from all the ashtrays, and then meticulously cut off the burnt end with a pair of sharp scissors and recover the small amount of tobacco that is left. Shockingly turns out that, for every four or five cigarettes I roll and smoke, I throw away enough tobacco to make another cigarette!! A bit 'strong' but quite smokeable. Just have to be careful to keep those dog ends seperate so I don't try and re-cycle them over and over. How low have I sunk!!!!!! Sheesh! :o( . . finally forced myself to start on some of my counsellor 'homework' and had a bit of a read of some of the book she has loaned me. 'Overcoming Social Anxiety And Shyness. A self-help guide using Cognitive Behavioral Techniques' by Gillian Butler. . . TVd, but the satellite system was playing up and kept on freezing on some of the channels, requiring I re-boot it!!?? The weather maybe? Or perhaps rain in the coax where I never did get round to taping over the outside connectors? . . touched base with BB . . ate bowls of cornflakes and biscuits . . More heavy rain throughout the evening. Fingers crossed - the bedroom bay windows 'appear' to be watertight(ish) where I've experimented with that bit of silicon sealer on the outside (although I need much windier weather to be sure). I think I should maybe buy some clear or white sealer, and have a 'proper' go at doing them all, all the way around all the glass - then I'd know I'd done everything possible. . Not sure - but I think I forgot to take my fluoxetine this morning! Ooops. . TVd until bed around 1am. s
15 - Restless sleep then woken real late by Sally around 8:30am!! Blimey - that's unusual - both me sleeping that late and Sally letting me. It HAS occurred to me of late that I've been feeling a little 'different', as though my chemistry is changing again, and my later sleeping pattern all of a sudden, seems to add weight to that suspicion. Can't prove it of course, but I strongly suspect it is down to the differing brands of fluoxetine I've been getting from the chemist. At least for the next two months, I'll be on the same 'Generics [UK] Ltd. (Milpharm Ltd.)' brand (and that is the same as I've been on for this last month), so at least some 'stability' there for a few months . . walked between rain showers. . KM called and said they'd all be popping over to see the house later this morning if that's ok . . PCd this . . KM/JM and the rest of that side of the family all turned up with Mum to see the house. They all seemed to like the place - but they're hardly all gonna turn up and say how they hate it are they! lol . Sally was amazingly good and apart from a bit of barking to start with, she accepted the mass invasion really well - and I even introduced her to new baby IM!! Fantastic dog. :o). . did dish washing chores . . ate tomato, lettuce etc sandwiches with crisps . . napped. . . walked. . put in an hour or so cleaning bedroom floorboards. . touched base with BB . . defrosted and ate a couple of chicken pastry pies with crisps . . . TVd until bed around 1am or just after. pps
16 - Woke late around 8:15am . . walked . . experimented with an old tin of 'Jizer' on the nasty carpet-tape glue that is stuck on a lot of the front bedroom floorboards. Yep - that seems to help remove it - with a LOT of scrubbing. . put in a couple of hours work in the front bedroom cleaning up the odd bit of floorboard and then removing the wall mirror and scraping the woodchip and paint from the firebreast section of wall. I'd been fully intending to put a power socket on the lower part of the wall there, but on closer examination have a horrible feeling I may not be able to. Hard to tell until I cut and lift a section of floorboard, and I really don't want to do that and 'ruin' another floorboard if it won't be possible. Catch 22. :o( . . . Mum called in after midday with the paper and food donations . . finished removing the last of the wallpaper and some of the underlying flaking paint before calling a halt around 2pm . . ate Mum donated sausage rolls with crisps and biscuits . . napped. Blimey - spent in excess of nine hours asleep today!? . . walked . . TVd . . touched base with BB . . ate three Mum donated ham rolls with crisps followed by some apple tarts . . TVd until bed around 1am. pp
17 - Woke around 8:30am again!? . . walked late . . as forecast, the weather was slightly improved today so I took the opportunity to get on top of the garden work that is overdue, before more rain prevents me from doing so for a while. Started mowing the lawn, trimming hedges, cutting everything into small pieces for the compost bin, etc. at around 10am. Apart from a couple of cigarette and coffee breaks, I worked straight through until around 4pm before I called it quits! Can't believe how much work it is just to maintain this garden - and so often! Not sure I believe him, but one of the neighbours keeps saying I should have bought the house the year before, because that year there was almost no growth in the garden by comparison. Compost bin is almost full already! . very exhausted but good to get it all done again for a while - and nice timing because it started raining just as I was finishing up. . ate a banana, a few biscuits and three Mum donated apple tarts while watching the end of the US grand prix, before having to lay down just for a while, despite how late it was. .napped for almost a couple of hours . . walked in the rain a bit later than usual. . .TVd and ate mayo, onion, cheese, tomato and lettuce sandwiches with two bags of crisps. . . touched base with BB . .TVd until bed around 12:30am. pp
18 - Woke around 7:30am . . . walked in the rain - which according to the forecast is what I'm liable to be doing all week! :o( . . PCd a bit of this. Feel pretty achey and tired from all that garden work yesterday. I'm almost out of coffee!!! Gonna HAVE to shop. :o( . . left Sally at home and drove to Sainsburys to shop. Spent more on tobacco and cigarette papers (250g Golden Virginia @ 53.95 - 50 liquorice Rizla papers @ 15) than I did on groceries (67.46)!!!!!!!!! :o( Can't keep doing that! . . back home with a nasty headache. Ate ham rolls, crisps, a banana and a cheap toffee chocolaty biscuity thing before sleeping . . woke with the same headache! :o( Crunched annadin tablet with coffee. . . walked the woods. Down by the cove amongst the usual remnants of fires and beer parties was a large hypodermic syringe laying next to a needle!! Dangerous debris on the beachThe needle was in a protective sheath. The syringe was bigger than that usually used by drug addicts, so god knows what that was doing there?! I recall some news report about surgical stuff being washed up on beaches from the MSC Napoli wreck, so maybe that was how it came to be there? Given my theory about a syringe perhaps being useful for 'injecting' wallpaper paste into the raised bubble problem areas of my lining paper, I carefully picked it up inside a poop scoop bag and took it home! Not sure how I'm gonna safely wash and disinfect it, but I'll have a go at some point. Funny how things 'I want' have a habit of turning up like that (with the exception of a large suitcase of money of course!) . . sat on the beach, with Sally having a swim and barking at me to throw stuff, I could see shoals of fish a little way out all jumping out of the water. A short while later, the head of a presumably well fed seal was bobbing around. Cool. . .TVd . . touched base with BB . . ate bowls of cornflakes and a banana or two . . TVd 'Zone Reality' mostly (Cops, police chases, etc) until bed around 12:30am. ppa
19 - Woke around 7:45am . . . walked. Briefly spotted the seal again. I'm gonna have to read up on those a bit, and see what sort it is. It has the most amazing, leopard-like markings on its underbelly. . PCd this . . worked in the bedroom. Raised one short, already cut section of floorboard, and then cut through and successfully raised another piece right by the firebreast wall. The bad news was I had to remove the skirting board to be able to do so, and it turns out the skirting there was in two pieces with a bunch of plaster filling an inch + wide gap! That's gonna be a hassle. :o( It did however mean I was able to cut and chisel out the recess for another double power socket and conduit to it, and by mid afternoon had the thing rough plastered in place . . fried up mushrooms, black pudding and potatoes for a big meal with a very small amount of not very nice white wine (that bottle I was given as a thankyou by the people I returned the sun dial to). . . napped for a couple of hours. Woke overheating and feeling a bit unwell. Bad move sleeping on such a full stomach . . walked . . put in another couple of hours working in the bedroom, sanding down filler, cleaning a couple of bits of floorboard and bagging up all the rubbish/rubble for tomorrows bin collection . . showered/TVd . . touched base with BB . . ate a banana, a bunch of biscuits and eventually a couple of bowls of muesli before bed around 1am. ppd
20 - Woke earlier but snoozed on until up around 8am. . . walked. Windy. . .worked on the bedroom and cut/chiseled and 'roughed in' a single socket box with conduit, next to the double power one at the base of the firebreast. Wallpapered the small section of wall above. . ate a tin of sausages and beans with mushrooms, black pudding and four pieces of bread and butter . . napped until around 5pm. . ate biscuits . . intended to just spend five minutes before walking, wiping off some more of the sticky carpet tape glue from a floorboard or two. Unfortunately I hadn't put the top back on the container of Jizer properly the last time I used it, and as I went to pick it up, it came off and the tin fell over spilling out all over the floor!!! My quick five minutes turned into a rushed hour of mopping up the spill and washing down the affected boards! :o(. . walked. As I approached BGdns, a rather 'large' lady was walking up the street and going in through the entrance. As I entered a short while later I was confronted by the sight of her squatting behind a bush having a pee!! I ignored her and walked on but Sally had a bit of a bark at her to disturb her business. She could have done with a - um - bigger bush! lol . . TVd with a small can of beer . . BB called . .ate bowls of corn flakes . . TVd until bed after midnight. ppds
21 - Woke around 8:15am! I seem to be getting later and later!??. . . walked in full weather gear in the strong wind and rain. . disappointingly signs of water pentration below the bedroom bay window. So much for my decorating. :o( . .PCd briefly . . worked in the bedroom laboriously removing the traces of paint from the floorboards where the skirtings had been painted. Lifted a couple of the broken sections of board where the central heating 'butcher' had been at work, and plugged/glued them back together. I'm gonna have to do quite a bit of that sort of thing, plus a bit of filling, and much washing and sanding to get parts of that floor into varnishable shape - although much of it is in far better shape than the PC room I've already done, to an acceptable standard. It's gonna take ages. :o( The major hold up to progress now is that piece of broken and too short skirting. I'm gonna have to try making up a piece a couple of inches long out of some scrap wood in the hope of being able to graft/glue it in between the other two bits!!! If I'm successful (which is debateable), that alone will take days! :o( I also appear to have developed a slight leak from the radiator (a couple of drips per day - from a heavily PTFE'd joint I haven't touched!) , which will have to come back off the wall for attention at some point . . ate lettuce, cheese and mayo sandwiches with crisps mid afternoon . . napped . .ate a banana . walked mostly between showers. . washed floorboards until gone 9pm . . TVd . . touched base with BB . . ate four pieces of toast with jam and marmalade. . TVd/PCd until early. pp
22 - Dreadful restless, broken nights sleep, not helped by Sally who appeared to be pretty restless as well and kept waking me as she wandered around/scratched/licked/etc!! Eventually gave up and got up just before 7am . . . walked in a brief sunny spell . .washed the remaining front bedroom floorboards! Hard humid work, but got the job finished eventually. So - at least that's all the dirt, grime and paint splatter etc removed from them all. . Mum called to touch base . . ate a tin of sausages in baked beans with fried mushrooms, four pieces of bread and butter and a heap of grated cheese around 3pm . . napped . . walked. One of the 'expensive' houses I walk past twice a day, has had what appeared to be a free standing, chrome, triple towel stood next to the wheelie bins for the past several days - or is it weeks? Finally swallowed my embarassment and knocked on their door and asked if I could have it. The answer was yes because it had gone rusty on the bottom and was marking the floor where they'd had it stood. carried it home . . It actually turned out to be a really nasty, cheap, flimsy affair, but it'll do for why I wanted it - somewhere out in the conservatory to hang all the muddy, always damp towels I use on Sally. . . had a look at the skirting board pieces from the front bedroom firebreast which I need to attempt to repair/lengthen. Turned out the short section of the board was actually in a bit of a state anyway, and was actually not as deep as it should have been!!! Even worse hassle than I thought. To cut a long story short, I eventually used one of the small, nasty, quarter-circle pine shelves that used to be in the PC room, to provide the timber to make up a block of wood, which turned out to be exactly the same thickness as the skirting. Used the electric fret saw on a garden step to cut the wood to skirting board depth (plus a bit to play with), and as long a piece as I could possibly get out of the shelf - which should be long enough to entirely replace the short broken section and produce a piece an inch or two longer than I actually need. Put my usual, 'absolute' faith in that marvellous wood glue, which states it dries harder than the wood itself, and simply butted the two glued ends of wood together and clamped them in a vice to dry overnight. I know it'll be a weak joint, but it only has to hold together long enough for me to fashion up the skirting board profile and get it screwed to the wall, and then it wont be going anywhere will it. Fingers crossed . . drank a tin of my strong beer and got tipsy . . LB called to touch base (seemed quite early for her to be THAT drunk!) - and seemed delighted that I was drinking too! lol . . ate turkey slice sandwiches with crisps and a few Mr Kipling cherry tarts. . touched base with BB . .TVd until bed in the early hours. pp
23 - Woken by Sally around 8am . . .walked. Misjudged the weather and got caught out by showers without the proper gear on . . PCd this. . worked in the garage as the heavy rain poured, and had a go at 'carving' the piece of wood I'd glued to the end of the short length of skirting board, into a matching profile. No power supply in the garage yet so laboriously did it all by hand with a stanley knife, woodsaws, miniature plane, chisels, sandpaper, etc, etc. I think it worked out ok in the end. Added more wood glue to the weak butt join (which thankfully survived the work) and left it to dry clamped in the vice. . just finished up when Mum arrived with the paper and food donations. Chats for a couple of hours . . ate Mum donated ham rolls and crisps . . napped . . .walked . . BB called . . skimmed a small amount of plaster onto the bottom of the bedrooom firebreast wall, getting it ready to accept the skirting back on. . TVd . . ate turkey slice sandwiches, crisps and four Mr kipling cherry tarts . . TVd/PCd until bed in the early hours. pps
24 - Up just before 8am . . walked in the rain . .slapped some undercoat on my skirtingboard repair piece - although I'm not sure why. Maybe just to prevent me from being able to get on and do anything with it today. I'm pretty tired. Think I'm gonna have an 'easy' day just pottering around some. . PCd . .yet again, the Glastonbury festival on this weekend, is a mudbath - and yet again someone has died from a drugs related thing. Happens every year doesn't it? I always feel 'guilty' I've never been, but then I see the footage of it all on TV and can't imagine how anything about it can possibly be pleasurable in any way whatsoever. In fact, inescapable huge seathing crowds of drunkeness - looks almost like my worst nightmare! . .Mum called. She'd left her lottery ticket in one of the carrier bags of food donation she'd left yesterday. I hadn't even noticed! Searched my carrier bag collection and found her ticket, although pointles really because she hardly ever has any numbers. Not a single one this week - again. . .balanced my accounts and actually painlessly renewed my car road tax online for the first time ever!!! Easy. Ain't 'tinternet marvellous. . .ate two mum donated chicken and mushroom pastry slices with crisps . . . napped. . . walked . . pp
25 - Up around 8am . . walked. Caught out in the rain without my leggings and got drenched . . much water leaking into the conservatory. :o( Placed buckets and empty Flora containers in strategic positions . . rang the Gas board attempting to pay my bill and set up a quarterly direct debit, but apparantly their computer system was down, so they said they'd have to call me back. Of course they didn't. . fixed the repaired skirting to the wall and then applied filler and a skim of plaster on the wonky bit of wall . sanded and filled one wall of skirting board and sanded the adjacent floorboard . . ate tuna, mayo, onion and tomato sandwiches with crisps . . napped. Woken by the phone ringing. Tried to get back to sleep, but before I could, the phone rang again. Turned out to be the doctor calling! Apparantly he'd finally spoken with the guy he said he was going to put me in touch with (as I understand it - some private/voluntary guy who has been instrumental in helping long term unemployed people get back into work, or something like that!??), he had no objection to my making contact with him, and the doctor gave me his name and phone number! Half asleep as I was, I just lamely thanked the doctor for his help and that was that. I don't think the doctor/counsellor people 'get it' do they. I'm almost exactly the same person I was when I originally went to them asking for help. A bunch of tablets, a couple of (meaningless!) chats with some counsellor, and being given a self-help book to read (ok-so I've only read one chapter so far) - well - that just don't cut it for me!


Aside from anything else, I SO do NOT want to have to phone up some complete stranger (who inevitably won't have a clue about any of 'my stuff') , in the 'hope' (!!??) that he will be able to assist me in getting back into the nightmare of having to be dealing with people all the time! Maybe - maybe next week, after I've finished the front bedroom - and after I've agonised over the prospect for several days!! :o( I don't think I've got the nerve to phone the doctor and say 'look dude - I just can't do this right now. Hell, I don't even want to have to talk to YOU, and am tempted to come off the prozac just so I don't have to!!!!!' :o( I really have reached a place where, if it were possible, I really could spend the rest of my days without having any contact with anyone ever again!!! :o(


. . walked. Following my usual coastal route through BGdns, I became aware of three kids in the distance on the rocks between F. and C. coves. They'd apparantly been fishing, but with the tide now coming in, and a bit of a swell to the water from the cold onshore wind, they appeared to be having trouble getting back up the cliffs! I stopped and watched for quite a while, with increasing concern, especially since I didn't have my mobile phone with me in case I needed to call them some help. (I (kinda deliberately) rarely carry it when I walk Sally these days - which I guess is a good sign - that I don't expect to have need of it like I used to for calling the police all the time!) At some point another dog walker who'd been down on the beach came walking past, and I asked if he had a mobile phone, as a way of involving him in my concern. He did - and joined me stood at my vantage point, 'concerned'. We stood there watching like a couple of unseen guardian angels for ages. One of the kids carrying the fishing rods (he almost lost them in the waves at one point) managed to get back over the rocks to relative safety and sat and waited for his companions. One of them had a go at climbing up a bit of one of the cliffs, in a gully just out of our sight. From the actions of his friend, it appeared that he'd got stuck up the cliff!! The guy I was with (a local, apparantly somewhat familiar with that bit of the cliffs and coast) actually walked all the way back down to the beach and precariously up onto some rocks, to peer around into the gully to make sure the kid was ok. That seemed particularly worrying because he didn't leave me his phone - and if he'd got washed into the sea, there was nothing I could have done but watch! He eventually returned and the kid who'd been only a 'little bit stuck', came back into view lower down on the rocks. Apparantly they were all around eleven or twelve years of age, although one was particularly small for that age. We both continued to watch as the two kids slipped and scrambled away over the rocks in the direction their friend had succeeded in going. To cut a long story short, one of those kids finally used his head, and decided the only way to get back to safety was to get in the water by the rocks and wade back across through the surf. He deserved credit for his eventual good judgement. His friend reluctantly eventually followed his lead and they were all soon re-united on safer ground - allbeit cold and wet. Stood there watching for a good half an hour in the cold wind, I too was frozen! . . TVd . .ate bowls of cornflakes . . touched base briefly with BB . . TVd until bed after midnight. pp
26 - Woken by Sally around 7:15am . . blimey - no rain. Walked . . .rang the Gas board again and eventually succeeded in getting through, paying my bill and setting up a direct debit . . PCd this . . put blend in filler around the new plaster on the firebreast wall. Sanded skirtings and floorboards . glued up a couple of short floorboard pieces . sanded down the filler, drilled and fixed the socket box retaining screws, put on a coat of wallpaper paste . . ate tuna, mayo, onion and tomato sandwiches with crisps follwed by biscuits . .napped . . walked . .ground back the uneven edges of a couple more floorboard pieces in the garden with the disc cutter before gluing them together and leaving them to set, all clamped together in the vice in the garage. Pasted the couple of small bits of lining paper on the bottom of the bedroom firebreast wall. Ha - that's the last bit of wallpapering in there. Slowly oh SO slowly day after day, I'm gradualy whittling it down so I'm pretty much now concentrating on the skirtings and floor. . ate the last of the tuna, mayo, onion and tomato with chips around 10:30pm. . touched base with BB . . TVd until bed around 1am. pp
27 - Up just before 7am . .walked in a sunny spell. Yet more threatening clouds on the horizon . .PCd this . . worked in the bedroom. Painted the firebreast wall and skirting and then spent hours on my hands and knees sanding the floorboards where they disappear beneath the skirtings. Sand paper wrapped around a steel ruler seemed to do the job pretty well. Probably didn't need to spend SO much time doing that, but I'd convinced myself that the most noticeable part of how well a stripped/varnished floor has been done, is the awkward bit where it meets/contrasts with the skirtings! . . defrosted and ate two chicken and vegetable pies with crisps around 3pm. .napped . . walked . .painted undercoat on the bedroom skirtings under the bay window and along the wall opposite until around 10pm. I would have done the other wall too, if not for the fact that while scraping along to clear out dust and debris from under the skirtings earlier, I'd managed to dislodge and knock out a bit of the filler I'd put on that section of damaged skirting! It's things like THAT which make the whole process SO time consuming. That's gonna cost me another day - to redo the filler, let it dry, sand it down, paint it etc. Grrrr. :o( . . touched base with BB . . ate Mum donated chocolate bars and then four Mr Kipling apple tarts . . TVd until 1am before bed. pps
28 - Up just after 6am . . walked the long walk through the woods, down to the beach and back in the sun before the grey overcast reappeared. . PCd briefly . .worked in the front bedroom and finally got round to drilling joists where necessary and then connecting up the last two of the double power sockets I'd put in, to the massively extended 'spur' which will eventually become a ring main. So - where that room only had one when I moved in (with lots of extension leads tacked under the edges of the carpet!), it now has four in useful positions - and will probably have another eventually (difficult to envisage all possible room layouts), but if so, the joists dictate that'll mostly be done from under the back bedroom floor when I decorate THAT room! Very satisfying to finally get those all hooked up and working. Even more satisfying when I managed to lift just one of the floorboards in the PC room and eventually succeeded in threading a phone wire through to connect up the one phone socket I've (so far?) put in the front bedroom. Even managed to use some of the old phone extension wire that had been tacked all down the side of the staircase carpet, rather than have to go buy more. :o) . . ate four cheese burgers for a late lunch, with a glass of white wine . . napped. Woke feeling yucky. I'm not sure, but I have a feeling that white wine disagrees with me. I can see me pouring the remainder down the sink! . . walked in a light shower coat, overheating badly!. . put in another couple of hours in the bedroom, drilling and countersink-screwing down the raised floorboards, and starting to attend to all the splits and gouges with wood glue and filler. That's gonna be an agonisingly time consuming war of attrition, over probably several days. :o( . called it quits around 9:45pm and cooked up chips and ate them with a microwaved chicken and veg pastry pie, followed by four Mr Kipling apple tarts . .LB called to touch base . . touched base with BB . .TVd until bed at 1am. pp
29 - Up around 7:45am . . walked in a hint of drizzle . .sanded just a bit of the wood filler . . drove to the DIY store to buy a can of floor varnish, but somehow went a bit crazy and ended up spending a small fortune on all sorts of nonsense, like I had money to burn!! Paint, varnish, electric sockets, a light switch, carpet edge strip, cork tiles (I have an idea to stick them on the side of my PC desk as a noticeboard) - I even bought some plant pots for re-potting some of the house plants (!!!!) and finally long overdue, got round to investing 10 in a cheap electric screwdriver to try. A total bill of 89.66!!!!! Sheesh! . . back after midday. .sanded . .PCd . . skipped food all day (except for a banana or two) walked a little early, did the 'full' walk through the woods and then sat on the beach at C. Cove and drank the tin of Stella I'd taken with me . . . cooked (drank a tiny bit of that nasty white wine while I did) and ate four sausages, two eggs, chips, four pieces of bread and butter and then several bars of Mum donated chocolate . . TVd struggling to stay awake. .touched base with BB briefly before straight to bed around 11pm. ppd
30 - Up around 7am a little headachey . .walked in the drizzle . .PCd this . .think I need a day off from working on the bedroom. Did the mountain of dishwashing chores and generaly tidied up around the place a bit. . tried my new electric screwdriver out by taking the awful pine 'spice rack' (looks home made to me) off the wall in the kitchen next to the window. Something else to add to my charity shop pile in the garage. Makes the dark kitchen feel a little brighter with that gone . . Mum popped in with the paper and food donations, for chats until mid afternoon . . ate Mum donated ham rolls with crisps . . napped . .TVd watching the news about the burning car that was driven into the front of Glasgow airport by yet more Islamic nutters, who thankfully only succeeded in hurting themselves and getting caught. Dumb and dumber! Not funny really but I couldn't help laughing at the photo of a smouldering would-be terrorist, held down on the ground by the police - next to a fire extinguisher!!. . walked in the wind and rain after 7pm. . actually turned into a really nasty stormy evening, with a patch of damp appearing beneath my leaking bedroom window! :o( The rain isn't the problem with however that's getting in - it's the wind when from a certain direction. . ate bowls of corn flakes . . touched base with BB . . TVd until bed around 11pm. ppa