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- Up around 8:20am. 21C in, 18C out, sunny with some cloud . .walked BGdns . .mowed the lawns . . drank a glass of red wine. . cooked and ate two cheeseburgers with chips . . napped . . just sat in front the TV, not moving and feeling down the whole evening. Plenty of pain and discomfort from my dentures. The prospect of this, and this for evermore, is really getting me down. I think I'd probably be able to tolerate the prospect, if only I could actually reasonably eat and chew with the damned things. It is of course all new to me and I have no idea what to really expect, but it seems to me that the dentist has removed SO much of the edge of that top plate, where it's STILL causing me lots of pain top right rear, that the plate no longer actually fits or stays put when trying to chew stuff. No matter what I try to chew, that entire plate now lifts away from my top teeth and gum on the right, and I spend all my time trying to hold it in place with my tongue (which is of course nigh on impossible)! I regularly now experience the danger of the entire top plate coming adrift in my mouth and ending up being 'chewed on' amongst a mouthful of food before realising what's happened!!!!! How can I go on like this? How am I supposed to just get used to this, as everyone and everything I read, tells me I must? I just don't understand how it can be this bad. Dad had false teeth and never seemed to have ANY such problems. He used to eat all manner of food and meals, pretty much normally as I recall. I can't eat a fraction of the stuff I (or he) used to - and what I DO force into my mouth is just a painful nightmare, now including trying to hold that top plate in place!! If I had a choice in the matter, I'd start the whole damned process all over again, re-do the mould of the top, and have a whole new upper plate made up, in the hope that second time round it would actually maybe FIT and be useable! I have weighed myself to make sure I'm not, but it DOES feel as though I'm slowly starving to death as a result! :o( . on top of all of that, it would appear that my unresolved underlying bacterial skin infection thing, has returned with a vengence, on the left back of my head but now mostly on the upper left part of my neck (which means it's constantly aggravated and irritated by clothing) - with another smaller site on my left jawline amongst my beard - all almost continually 'weeping'!! Damn it all, if there isn't 'some' suggestion, it's spread to the small of my back where I can't quite reach to scratch at it!! Aside from anything else, it makes me feel pretty disgusting. . .what can I say. This seems to be some pretty miserable existance. All I'm doing is sleeping and then just suffering through the next day of hungry itchy discomfort as best I can - day after day. There is nothing else now. Whatever else there may have been seems overwhelmingly pointless and or beyond me. . involunatry 'S' ideation (sometimes imagined/rehearsed in meticulous detail - again) is a frequent resting place for my thoughts. One of the reasons I DON'T share, when people ask me why I haven't got rid of the 'rusting away up by the garage' car yet. -//-. . ate half a mum donated sponge cake before to bed after 2am
29 - Woke earlier snoozed on then up around 8:30am. 20C in, 16C out, cloud and sunny spells. . woke at the PC and had a look at the estate agent's listing for the house next door (on the other side of the paper-thin walls!). It IS a very nice property (- and I can see why they did the fence panel 'botch' out back). It's been massively extended, is now a five bedroom, is superficially in very good/attractive condition, and is of course the end of terrace on a much bigger plot of land than mine, complete with a double garage with power etc. I think it also is the 'legal/notional' owner of the rear access lane. It's listed for 219,950!! It can surely ONLY appeal to a big noisy family can't it? Oh dear. :o( (I wonder how much, any prospective buyers, may be put off by my relatively modest collection of colinear aerials?). . . walked FGn and ended up sitting around up there in the sun for a VERY long time. Eventualy back via the store. . . recovered from the walk with a coffee in the garden. Ended up exchanging a few brief words through the fence with someone 'viewing' next door! . . . PCd/radiod and listened-in from 12:50pm for ten minutes or so, as the space station passed overhead in communication with a school in Italy. Mum called in with the papers and food donations 'just' before, and even joined me to listen for a bit. . chats for a while. Sounds like she has a tooth falling out now! . . . ate two tuna and mayo finger rolls, crisps and a banana . . . napped . . . walked BGdns. Threw the ball just a few times on the local beach for Bella to swim out for, before heading for our usual seat for more ball play and plenty of sitting around in the sun for ages. . . TVd . . ate half a spongecake, piece of gala pie, mini cheddars and biscuits . . to bed gone 3am.
28 - Up around 7:30am. 20C in, 16C out, cloudy but brightening to sunny . . . miserable . . walked FGn. A 'For Sale' sign is now standing in next door's front garden, so I WAS right . . . messed around with the strimmer for a bit but ended up just wasting my time. No way can I fix OR botch it. . .Couldn't raise the energy to do anything. Just sat around/aimlessly PCd/TVd the rest of the day away - again! :o( . . . D called in for coffee and chats until around 10:30pm. Extraordinarily warm, even at that time of the night. 22C in, 17C out! . . managed to eat (not enough for a day - again) two chocolate biscuits, a banana and a bowl of muesli before to bed in the early hours.
27 - Woke earlier snoozed on then up around 8:15am. 19C in, 17C out, hazy sunny but feeling very warm. . . walked FGn and sat around for ages in 'the heat'. Took my time returning . . .dug a small file and some wet and dry paper out of the garage and had a bit of a go at taking down the edge of one side of my bottom denture plate where it's been making a bit of another ulcer. Very VERY careful, and really probably hardly took off any at all, but I think it 'may' have helped in that area just a little? . . did the mountain of dishwashing chores . . managed to eat a packet of crisps, cheese and mayo sandwiches and a banana. Still pretty damned painful to do - and even increasingly so? . I wonder if I actually SHOULD be leaving these plates out for a bit to allow the painful areas to have a chance to heal (like the dentist had suggested which I had chosen to ignore)? Decided to do so and took them out before napping for a few hours until the 6:30pm alarm. . raining - skipped the walk. . TVd . .PCd just a bit of this. .Now I've had those dentures out for a good few hours, it is suprising to me how sore my mouth remains where they've been rubbing and doing damage, without them even in! :o( . .radiod locally for a bit . . TVd/guitarred the night away . . put the dentures back in just to eat a small pack of sausages, a tin of sausages in baked beans, grated cheese and two pieces of bread and butter. That was all MORE painful than it had been earlier, and I had to take the damned things back out straight after!!?? I'm starting to feel really quite desperate about all this. Things seem to be getting worse each day, not better!!!??? :o( . . TVd until bed in the early hours.
26 - Up at 8am. 18C in, 14C out, hazey sun. . the lifeboat appears to have been out on a shout in the channel down to the south east and is making its way back. What have I missed? . . . walked FGn. Sat around in the really VERY warm for ages. Turned out the lifeboat was towing fishing vessel 'Fidelitas' back to harbor, after it had lost all power 32 miles SE of Berry Head in the early hours of the morning. They arrived back in view while we were still sat up there . . .Mum called to let me know Sis1 had already arrived. . Sis1 popped down for chats before all then walking back to Mums to sit in the warmth of the garden (while playing ball with Bella) and chat some more. All touched base with Sis2 by phone . . .joining Mum and Sis1 for a meal somewhere was completely out of the question, so I eventually left them to go do whatever, and returned home - starving! Ummd and ahhd for ages peering into the freezer and cupboards trying to figure out what I may be able to eat. Eventually decided come what may, I needed to eat something 'substantial', and I set about defrosting some bread rolls and cooking-up a couple of quarter pound burgers. Managed to successfully eat two cheeseburgers with mayo and ketchup through the pain - very slowly. . . napped until the 6:30pm alarm. . . walked BGdns and sat around playing ball, drinking my coffee and listening to radios etc until gone 9pm . . TVd/guitarred a little . . ate bowls of rice krispies. . . to bed around 3am.
25 - Poor broken sleep then up before the 6:30am alarm. 18C in, 10C out, sunny and much less wind. . Ouch! This dentures/mouth pain thing really is my entire existance at the moment! Seems to fill every waking moment and leave no room for anything else! :o(. . . somehow scratched my nose or some such whilst blowing it, and ended up with a minor nosebleed for goodness sake! Jeeze - whatEVER next!!!! :o( . . . walked FGn early in warm sun under blue skies. Start of a cracking, summery day. Ended up talking about dentures, to someone I passed who said good morning and then made the mistake of asking how I was! lolol . . walked to the dentist for my 9:10am appointment. I hadn't expected her to be so understanding and tolerant of my 'complaints'. She seemed more than happy to have a look and then have a go at grinding off some of that top denture in the offending area. In and out a couple of times (ouch, ouch ouch) and then finally it appeared to be 'better' and offer me some very noticeable relief. I could have kissed her feet! She even then also took a little bit off the bottom denture, where it sticks into the base of my tongue on both sides in some way - which I described as tolerable 'discomfort' rather than pain. She called it quits about there, although there WAS a possible hint of me being in slightly more 'discomfort' on either side of that bottom plate after she'd done!!?? Before leaving she suggested leaving the top plate OUT for a day or two, 'to allow the ulcer to heal'. I had no idea I had an ulcer developing where that top plate had been sticking in my gum, but I must confess, I was delighted to hear her say that! I felt kinda vindicated in crawling back to them so soon, saying it was hurting real bad. Not quite so much a 'wimp' after all? . . recovered with a coffee in the sun in the garden, clenching my teeth lots and starting all over again trying to get a feel for what's going on in my mouth and what is hurting where. Without question, whatever she did to that bottom plate has now made it dig into the flesh in the bottom of my mouth, more than before!! The bit of grinding (not enough) she did with her drill, has actually left a roughened surface on the two offending protruding lobes of the plate, which felt when explored with my tongue, not unlike the serated blade of a saw! No wonder it's hurting more!! . I've been resisting doing anything of the sort - but - ok - I admit it - I caved in and dared!! Dug out a piece of the finest grade wet and dry paper I could find in the garage (1200) and VERY carefully gently 'teased' the rough edges of the bottom plate. I was SO determined not to screw things up, I probably could have done a lot more than I did, but I called it quits after gently oh SO carefully just smoothing those edges just a little. It's helped a bit - but I think I definitely need more taken off, to have any chance of mere discomfort, rather than pain. Oh well - I'm gonna give it my best shot at just putting up with it as it is for a while, to let my mouth settle down a bit and recover from the last few days, to enable me to have a clearer picture of what's hurting and what now isn't. The bad news is, I completely misread when my next dentist appointment is (for the multiple fillings). I'd somehow gotten the idea it was in a couple of weeks. Turns out it's actually in August!!!! . . PCd a bit of this - wasting away yet another day. . . Mum called to touch base, and then again later to Say Sis1 was popping down to visit her tomorrow . .god I'm hungry!! Oh dear. What - how? :o( . . .ate a microwaved bowl of stew with a bread roll followed by a banana. Still in pain from different areas, but actually being able to eat that banana was indicative of an improvement over the last few days. . . napped . . .walked BGdns with a coffee and sat around in the sun for ages. A big band of dark cloud to the NNW stole the last hour of sun . . TVd with the moon rising behind the TV again. Funny that I ended up watching a program on one of the BBC channels later all about the history of units of measurement, and in it they included an explanation of why the human eye isn't too good at actually detecting differing light levels. Alter the light level (even +/- 50%) and the eye automatically adjusts etc. All that of course explains why I can't readily see that the moon is currently especially bright. . guitarred a little . . ate the last of the stew with four pieces of bread and butter and just a tiny bit of chocolate. . . TVd until bed around 3am.
24 - Woke earlier snoozed on then up with the alarm at 7am. 18C in, 12C out, sunny. . Ouch!. . .still waking at the PC but brewing up to walk Bella when the phone rang somewhere around 8am!?? Turned out to be the dentist surgery cancelling this morning's appointment because the dentist wasn't in today because of some issue or other with her daughter. That's a b***er after having been aiming for it all weekend and having gone to bed and got up early and all. Oh well. I did actually waver in my resolve and toy with the idea of just enduring the pain for the next coupleof weeks in the hope it would correct itself, but in the end I thought better of that and went along with the suggestion of an alternative appointment early tomorrow. . . walked FGn and then carried on down town (no sign of the wheeled trolley) for a tour of the charity shops etc. My main reason for going down was to see if the 'tools' table in the undercover market had any high capacity rechargeable batteries like they once had before. They did not. .no sign of the wheeled trolley down where I last saw it. Weird morning - saw most of the few people I ever talk to or say hello to in passing whilst I was walking around . . .sat around, PCd, monitored radios a bit. The bands appear to be in very quiet shape again. . . managed to eat (without chewing) a tin of soup with a bread roll broken up into it in little pieces . . napped . . walked BGdns with a coffee. Turned into a beautiful sunny evening. Down by our usual lower seat, an 'Asian' family or two were all assembled on the grass having a barbeque. They actually had a proper circular metal burner on legs all set up, and cooking who knows what. Only reason I mention it is because of all the smoke it was giving off. Still quite a breeze blowing down there so it was quickly diluted and dispersed, but it still made it pretty unpleasant sitting there. There's something about that sort of smoke which always smells unpleasant and unnatural to me - like it's full of oil or chemicals or some such. Really started making me feel a bit unwell after sitting exposed to it for a long while. Kind of ironic given all the stuff on the news at the moment from Asia. i.e. 'Malaysia declares a state of emergency in two southern districts as smog triggered by forest fires in Indonesia reaches hazardous levels.' Had my own little Sumatra going on down there! . . . TVd . . .another thing in the news at the moment is the moon. Apparantly it's a full, 'Supermoon' right now - an annual event when the moon's elliptical orbit brings it closer to Earth. It is alleged to appear about 14% larger and 30% brighter than a regular full moon. It was a totally clear sky this evening and it was fully visible climbing up across the sky behind my TV like usual. It looked as stunning as ever, but I can't say that I was able to discern any 'particular' noticeable difference. Certainly not by THOSE percentages anyway. . . ate a bowl of stew mush. Tried sucking a small piece of chocolate afterwards, but that was just too painful!. . .set the alarm and then to bed around 1:30am.
23 - Up around 8:15am. 19C in, 15C out, sunny spells, wind and rain. So much for thinking my upper right mouth pain was getting slightly less yesterday! Back hurting with a vengeance after putting the top denture back in this morning. :o( Everywhere else IS mere entirely tolerable 'discomfort'. It's just that one area REALLY screwing it all up for me I reckon . . . walked FGn after the rain stopped and things brightened up a little. Outside next door on the pavement when I left, was a big metal wheeled trolley - just apparantly dumped there!? 'Connected with' all the noise last night I bet! Just dumped there like that, I was 'almost' tempted to take an interest in it. It 'could' have been really useful for 'maybe' transporting stuff back from the builders yard - like bags of sand and cement etc? . . . on returning from the walk, a couple of young men ('connected' with next door) were 'hanging around' near the trolley . . . TVd . . put on a bit of laundry and PCd this at length for ages. Can't really face up to trying to do anything else right now. .got the laundry out on the line to dry . . walked a little early and headed straight down through town for a change. Would you believe it - that same wheeled trolley had just been apparantly dumped outside the town hall!! It was definitely the same one because it had some sort of yellow plastic container on it. It ALSO had a pound coin sticking out of a mechnism on the top handle - like you get with some supermarket type trolleys!! I just walked on by and carried on my way, but with hindsight - I strongly suspect that was actually probably 'taken' from the Brixham marina. (I 'think' that sort of thing is provided by the marina for use by the owners of the boats to shift their luggage and fuel etc, etc.). Hmmmm - maybe I should have run off with it and pushed it all the way back down to the marina and 'earned' the pound coin deposit? lol. . .walked down around the harbour and then on out to BGdns for some ball play and much sitting around. Pretty cloudy and quite an unpleasan stiff chilly breeze blowing. It rained a little and we had to retreat to the seats under the roof. I KNEW taking the chance of leaving my laundry on the line was a mistake! Humph. .eventually back via the store for milk and a few mushrooms . . . cutting back through via the shortcut near the industrial estate, I suddenly spotted what appeared to be a juvenile crow fall out of a tree and get stuck on the ground along a lane some distance away!! I stopped and watched for a while but it clearly could NOT get back into the air, and started fluttering along the lane, with presumably a parent noisily watching from the trees above! Agonising to watch, but there really wasn't anything I could reasonably do about it. It probably wasn't going to make it. At length, I sorrowfully just carried on my way. I really do HATE this time of year in part - when all the birds and gulls are having their young. Their existance is SO, SO precarious and fragile. SO much suffering almost everywhere you look. Amazing ANY of them actually make it through to adulthood! (Two seagull chicks have appeared on the flat garage roof opposite again. Seems like those gulls (the same ones?) nest there EVERY year.) . . TVd . . .drank a glass of red wine. Boiled up a big pot of stew type stuff containing minced meat, garlic salt, oxo cube, tin of chopped tomatoes, chopped onions, peas, carrots, mushrooms and potatoes. . pretty much just a mush by the time I'd boiled it all up, I managed to slowly eat a bowlful some time after 11pm. The bad news about that stew is it appears to leave a large amount of the damned minced meat littering my mouth around the plates, only revealed when I took them out before going to bed!! . . to bed at 12:15am.
22 - Up around 6:45am. 19C in, 14C out, windy and a sunny spell after recent rain. . . dutifully put the dentures back in. Oh my god what pain to do so - most especially with the top set again! :o( . . .walked FGn in full weather gear - although it actually stayed more or less dry. VERY gusty winds. Gale force eight with 40mph gusts forecast for the next couple of days - again! . returned via the store for some mincemeat and a few vegetables. I'm gonna have to do a big pot of stew or some such, and boil it up into a puree, just so I have a better chance of not starving to death over the coming days! :o( . . . PCd a bit of this . . . radiod locally having a bit of a chat, and inevitably talking about my dentures and tooth pain, etc for quite a while. Amazing how many people appear to have dentures when you start talking about it. . Got into a conversation with a couple of the RARC members about maybe some time trying a bit of local morse-code on 2mtrs. Very VERY briefly actually dared to send and receive a little (slowly!) on 144.250mhz. I unquestionably made a hash of it with my key-shy nerves of course, but it WAS kinda nice to actually give it a bit of a go. Mum arriving with the papers and food donations (which I can't now eat!) called a halt to further play . . .chats with Mum. I really didn't want to, but of course Mum wanted to see the dentures, so I DID eventually dare to remove them to let her have a look. Hurt like toe-curling absolute hell again, taking them out and putting them back in. :o( Embarassing having a witness to my agony like that! . . . drank a glass of red wine. That 'Namaqua' 12.5% alcohol volume red wine, really doesn't seem to get me 'tipsy' like what I've been buying before!? Just for the sake of a couple of % difference in alcohol volume?? NOT value for money. . Cooked a big pile of mashed potato, grated onion and peas, and mixed it all up with the remaining tuna and mayo, and eventually actually succeeded in eating it all with my dentures IN!!! Although no chewing, that DOES suggest a slight 'easing' of the pain - I think - maybe! ? Doesn't it? . . . TVd briefly immediately after eating, but soon ended up on the radios when I heard an ongoing rescue by the Torbay Lifeboat on the scanner. Simulataneous monitoring of four frequencies saw me hear most of the developments as the rescue took place. Around 16:30 the lifeboat was out around 12 miles SW of Dartmouth (East of Salcombe) rescuing a crew member with an injured hand from Greek registered tanker 'Promitheas'. 30knots westerly, 2.5mtr swell on scene. It was decided to try to use the mid-ships crane on the tanker, to lower the crewman to the fordeck of the lifeboat, in a basket with heaving line. There were some language difficulties with the ship's captain, with the lifeboat's instructions to do a "dummy-run" with an empty basket not initially understood! That was eventually resolved and at 16:55BST the dummy run was succssfully completed and the lifeboat reported they were 'Happy to go with that'. By 16:58 BST the job was done, the casualty was onboard the lifeboat, and they were heading for Haldon Pier in Torquay to hand him over to an ambulance for the trip to Torbay hospital. The tanker promptly carried on its way (to Mohammedia, Morocco). . napped until the 6:30pm alarm (keeping my dentures IN!), but trouble waking and didn't actually get back up until around 7pm. Drizzley and just not in the mood to walk (or actually be alive much really! :o( ). . . TVd . . much unpleasant 'party' type banging/shouting and particularly 'screaming' (male! THE worst and most obnoxious!) noise from next door to endure throughout much of the evening - just to complete my own little world of painful hell I'm livin' through right now! The walls between these houses are like paper, FFS!! NO escape - and the worse it gets, the more I am inclined to turn the volume down on the TV and listen and get uptight!!????? Go figure! :o( Actually, Bella gets real upset by such noise too (like every time they slam their front door - which is every time they use it!), and needs a lot of fussing to calm her down! Just f***ing inconsiderate! It IS all part of the reason why I stay up so late and into the early hours all the time. It's just so wonderfully quiet, peaceful (and 'safe'?!) when everyone else is asleep. :o( . . D called to touch base . . guitarred a little. . . ate a bit of iced sponge cake and a couple of biscuits, all necessarily dunked in coffee! It did NOT go well - and I even had to make another cup of coffee just to be able to try to get that little bit down. :o( Absolutely NOT enough food for the day, but I just could NOT face trying to get anything else past my ever painful mouth. . miserable and hungry, to bed around 3am after having endured the bare pain of wrestling the dentures out. :o(
21 - Woke earlier snoozed on then up around 7:15am. 18C in, 13C out, grey . . .walked FGn. A dog walker told me how his cafe and someone elses shop nearby had both been broken ino on Tuesday night/early Wednesday morning. He was aiming to spend much of the day replacing the smashed glass in the shop front door!! Aside from all the damage caused, amongst other things, the theives had stolen all the money from the till and a very large (expensive) cafe sized lump of cheese!! All the freezers had also been opened and LEFT open - so everything was ruined. An old person using that cafe the other day, had apparantly mistakenly left their purse containing a house key behind when they left. The purse contained enough information for him to contact them and let them know their key was safe and where they could retrieve it from. That purse and key was ALSO taken in the burglary!! He had to call them back again and let them know it WAS now stolen!! (They really should have to change the locks on their house now shouldn't they!!!!) WHAT a cruel twist of fate for them! . That wasn't all of it!!!! Presumably the same scumbags, had ALSO allegedly broken into and smashed windows and broken doors on multiple cars parked all the way up the road which dissects FGn in front of where we sit to play ball most days!!!!! Their route 'home' from the shops they'd burgled? VERY upsetting and disturbing to hear all that. :o( . . . cut my beard and hair and then got clean . . left Bella at home and walked to the dentist for my 11:30am appointment. . I was a little disappointed to find the dentist had decided to just fit the partial dentures today, and NOT do any of the multiple fillings I still have to have - but like I said to her, she's the boss and knows best - I've no choice in any of it and will simply comply with whatever she says. . Initial fitting of the bottom denture hurt a bunch, specifically on the left in one particular area!! Felt like a sharp knife point was being driven into the soft flesh at the base of my tongue/gum! Jeeeze - I hadn't expected that!??! The plate was pulled back out and some of the plastic was ground off before trying again - and again a few times - very painful each time!! Ultimately it didn't seem to hurt 'quite' so much when it was forced back in, so that was apparantly that for the bottom set! Turned out to be a similar story with the top set, but actually far worse in terms of the pain level. EXTREME pain in a very specific location top right rear. How the hell can I possibly tell, because I've had no experience of anything like this before, but it really felt as though the slightly curling top edge of the denture was pressing with great force directly onto a piece of boney gum which has almost no flesh covering it - and that precise location is coincidentaly (?) where I had that last tooth extracted last week. It's been a week, and given I think I'm generally pretty good at quickly healing from such things, I was of the opinion that extraction site had long since all 'fully' healed and had been painless ever since. That was - until now!! Oh WHAT pain!!! Having injections and extractions was as nothing compared to THIS!!! The dentist did the same bit of in/out grinding/refitting type deal, but it did NOT seem to particularly improve things! To my horror, she then suggested that all the in/out had potentially made my gum sore anyway, and that was all she was prepared to do at the moment, and I should let it settle down and try it like that until my next visit. She seemed intent on showing me how they looked in a mirror. To be honest - I couldn't have cared less how they looked! I mean - look at the state of me and my life generally - whatdoIcare how I look?! I just wanted them to enable me to eat stuff! I had NOT expected to be in such excrutiating pain with them!!! :o( She said if I had particular trouble with them, I should return before my next appointment. Oh well - she's the expert - I made an appointment at reception (with mumbling/slurred speech!) to have the fillings done (two weeks time was the earliest they could fit me in) and I was soon on my way home. . . just sat in front the TV hardly moving for the next couple of hours, enduring the constant awful pain, specifically from that one side of my upper denture. The best way I can describe it is, that it's like having a needle stuck in the boney part of my gum ALL the time - and ANY attempt to put any pressure on ANY part of that top plate, results in a feeling akin to having that imaginiary needle poked and wobbled!!! Everyone I've ever spoken to about false teeth suggested there WOULD be 'discomfort' until such time as you get used to them. Not one of them had made any mention of THIS amount of hellish pain!! Is this right? Surely this can't be right? I don't think I'm a wimp about pain - god knows I'm used to enduring tooth ache and the like. But THIS??? 'Discomfort'? Jeeze. I hadn't expected anything as painful as this. . . I was VERY hungry - like it or not, I figured I'd HAVE to try to eat something. Naively I assumed that since I now had my dentures, and this WAS my future for evermore, and I just HAD to try to get used to them and allow them to 'bed in', I'd attempt to actually eat a sandwich almost like normal - albeit a slushy one made of mashed tinned tuna and mayo. . the very first attempt at a small bite and a gentle chew of the sandwich put paid to that idea! Oh MYYyyy GOD - what absolute F***ing AGONY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Unbelievable pain! No way could I eat with that top denture in place. I tried - but really - there was just NO way. I HAD to try to eat something (and I'd already made all the sandwiches), so I figured I had no choice but to take that top painful denture out to do so. Taking it out was VERY difficult (took two hands in front a mirror) and frankly, was toe curling agonising hell - but then, WHAT a relief from the pain. . Mum called about then to see how I'd got on at the dentist. I couldn't handle it - she was sharply dismissed! . managed at length to nibble and eventually eat the sandwiches, but all the while trying to figure out what the hell I'm supposed to do now. The whole point about all this denture thing was so I'd be able to eat stuff - and that is the very thing which I've ended up being absolutely unable to do!!???? . . . I 'dutifully' endured the agony and managed to get the top plate back in my mouth after the sandwiches. Much time was spent immediately thereafter holding onto the sides of the kitchen sink, bent over in pain, with 'floods' of saliva quite literally pouring from my mouth (like you can get when you bite your tongue kinda?)! . . at length, I dared to reach the conclusion that I definitely needed more 'fitting' work done (some grinding away of that top slightly curling edge?) to be able to have ANY chance of persevering with them and allowing them to 'bed in' and my mouth alter to suit, etc, etc. NO way could I possibly endure THIS for two weeks until my next appointment - and have to wrestle them out just to try to occasionaly get some food into me!?? . It took me a while to muster up the courage, but I eventually rang up the dentist. It was engaged. It was so constantly engaged, and I felt so utterly desperate, I eventually left Bella at home and just walked back down there to present myself at reception and 'plead' for an audience with the dentist. I don't 'think' I showed it, but it REALLY bugged me how the receptionist seemed really rather dismissive of what I was telling her about how much pain I was in. She even saw on her computer that I'd had an extraction in that painful area, and started on about how it was probably just as a result of that area still healing and how it would get better etc. (Just a bloody receptionist - not a dentist!) I had the nerve to insist I wanted to see the dentist ASAP. The earliest they could get me in for an 'emergency' type appointment was Monday morning! With no choice, I accepted that appointment and returned home. . Dutifully kept the plates in, and just sat around, miserable, and hurting like hell. I've GOT to prove I'm no wimp and give it my best shot haven't I? Oh boy - how easy it would be to just take the damned things out - but I mustn't!!! Managed to redirect the 'flight response' energy caused by the pain, and mowed both lawns, just to try to take my mind of things. With my strimmer now broken, I had to laboriously go round all the 'edges' with the hand shears, and do as best I could! Hassle. . . walked BGdns with a coffee. Sat and played ball in the pleasant late sun for ages - all the while in pain of course, with my tongue involuntarily continually searching for somewhere familiar to lie, in amongst all that unfamiliar mouthfull of plastic - which my saliva glands seem to think is something edible all the time!! Cold on the top seat, in the shade with an increasing wind. . . PCd and inevitably ended up doing a Google search for 'painful dentures' and the like! Read a bunch of it all. I dunno - do I have a poorly fitting denture (like I think), or is it just a case of waiting until that extraction site calms down? All the other extraction sites I've got which are only a week older, are fine. I dunno. I just don't know. . . I'm in F**ing agony here!!! :o( . (briefly even surfed looking at liquidisers!!!!!!) . . . forced myself to endure the never ending pain of wearing the dentures until midnight - and then took an annadin tablet, in the hope that it would make me more able to endure the pain of taking the dentures out to sleep. Really hungry but just couldn't face trying to eat anything much. Tried a spoonful of softened co-co pops in cold soothing milk - but it was unbearable. Struggled to get both the dentures out. Agony - and then SUCH relief! . . ate bowls of co-co pops, rice krispies and two bananas . . to bed around 1am leaving my 'teeth' in a glass of water in the kitchen. MISERY! :o(
20 - Up around 7:10am. 20C in, 15C out, grey and damp . . .checked the courier tracking website, left the postitnote on the door again, and then walked FGn a little early with a rucksack, intending to buy a few supplies on the return. Almost out of cash so decided to investigate the new cashpoint which Mum'd said had recently appeared in the wall of the local post office. For no particular reason other than I simply haven't needed-to living this funny little small-town life I do, I actually haven't used a cashpoint for MANY years!! I've been getting a bit uptight about whether or not the PIN (assuming I can remember it correctly!) would still be valid after all this time, and not wanting to run the risk of having my vital debit card swallowed if I got it all wrong, has been putting me off using them on the odd occasion I may have wished to. Well - there WAS a new (free) cashpoint outside that local store, and with only 5 cash left in my pocket, I dared to give it a go. Phew - a great relief to have it all go smoothly without any problems at all. I'd forgotten how easy that is. That is VERY handy having one so close. . carried on round to the other store to buy a few milk, butter, etc supplies and carried everything home on my back, as the grey turned into a much thicker, foggy drizzle. Very warm and humid . . . PCd this. The parcel tracking site now says the thing has actually been received BY the courier, so one would assume it SHOULD be delivered later today? <fingers crossed/worry> . . . at 11am a plain white van courier delivered my parcel. Horrified to find that one corner of the cardboard box had been torn open in transit, and I could actually see the knob of the morse key within!! The courier suggested I should write 'Damaged' on his electronic keypad before then signing beneath. His keypad appeared to malfunction, and all I managed to record on it was 'damaged' - WITHOUT being able to do a signature!??!! . quickly photographed the box (for evidence?) before then starting to open it up - actually SO anxious about potentially ending up having YET another 'battle' for a refund on my hands, that I really didn't want to!!! Thankfully, despite the damaged packaging, cosmetically, everything inside appeared to be in acceptable second-hand order/condition - as per the original listing photo (included here).Image of a speaker, morse tutor and key purchased on e-bay for 48 inc postage Quickly plugged the 4" square Radio Shack extension speaker into my scanner (because that was quick and easy), and confirmed that was working fine - and actually sounded pretty ok. I've yet to come up with (and build!) an arrangement on my desk better than just the 'stacks' of equipment I have, one on top of the other , but that speaker is definitely gonna be useful for giving me slightly better audio than that which the onboard skyward facing little speaker of the FT-897 can manage. It sounds MUCH better than the little 2.5" one I've been using, which I salvaged from the large piece of equipment I couldn't sell (which I partially dismantled and threw out!) from the 'box of toss' deal. Yep - that'll do. . The HK-707 morse key appears to be in fine and functional condition, albeit clearly quite elderly and in need of at least a damned good clean. No complaints there. (I DO seem to have amassed a ridiculously large 'collection' of morse keys now!) . So - nervously oh SO nervously, onto the 'main event'. The datong D-70 morse tutor. Set the controls appropriately and then dared to turn it on. At first listen by ear, it 'appeared' to be working ok. Quickly connected it up to the PC and the Ham Radio Deluxe de-coding software and ran tests on various settings, to enable me to easily check it was sending all the normal characters, etc. YAYYYYYY. It appears to be working ok. Oh thank god. WHAT an incredible relief. WHAT A RELIEF!! FINALLY I've got myself a 'portable' tutor again - and can free myself from just practicing on the PC. I was SO relieved, I 'almost' went straight onto e-bay to leave appropriate positive feedback - but eventually resisted for a while, 'just in case'. I need to run that thing for a while first I think, just to make sure it isn't suddenly going to inexplicably fail in some way! If I've already left glowing feedback, I wouldn't have a leg to stand on would I! . I'm of course not sure if all this stuff originaly some time came from the same person (the seller in a follow-up message telling me it had been dispatched, also told me the tutor was bought at a Norbreck Amateur Radio Club meet in Blackpool 2012), but there IS a callsign on the (of no interest to me of course) varnished roughly made timber plinth which the speaker used to sit on. Callsign GW3VEN. Intrigued, I tried to look that up on QRZ.COM only for it to suggest the guy (his photo is still up there) is a 'silent key' (dead). Funny old world isn't it. Wonder who'll end up with all MY stuff, whenever? You know - it DOES occur to me that if I was to be so inclined, that wooden plinth 'could' even be maybe modified and bored-out underneath with the router etc, to accept a speaker, battery and a morse practice oscillator circuit and silly Japanese key I got the other day? (Such things regularly fetch 20+ on ebay!) . anyway - at the end of the day, after all those days of worrying about it, and being uptight about how long it took to get here, I may well be 'content' with the purchase, and NOT consider it such an overly expensive deal. :o) Time will tell. . . typical of Radio Shack for some inexplicable reason, that extension speaker had a line of 'silver' around the leading edge of the plastic - which WAS partially scraped and gone in one particular area, making it look 'used'. I HATE that cheap looking silver over plastic stuff, because it always ends up looking cheap scratched and crappy sooner or later. Couldn't help myself - used a bit of fine wet and dry abrasive paper stuff I'd found in the street (from the car spray/body shop on the industrial estate?) , and meticulously carefully ran it around the leading edge and removed all the rest of the silver. Looks SO much better and more tasteful for it, just being plain black. The Radio Shack logo remains silver for the time being because - well - it IS my 'radio shack' isn't it. lol Silly stuff . . . treated Bella to a defrosted bone. . .ate tinned salmon sandwiches, mini cheddars, banana and a little chocolate . . napped . . walked BGdns with a coffee. Still very misty as it has been all day, and it even thickened up as we sat there, reducing visibility so much even the breakwater was eventually totally obscured. . . drank a glass of red wine . TVd . . .ate a packet of small sausages, a tin of baked beans and four pieces of bread and butter . . . to bed around 1:30am.
19 - Up around 7:50am. 19C in, 15C out, warm and sunny with little wind. . .checked the courier tracking website (again!) to see where the morse-tutor parcel allegedly is - now! "08:47 Hub Trailer Via Sorter"? God knows what THAT means - although I suspect it actually isn't going to even be in a position for any sort of delivery attempt, for another day or several! The company that guy appears to have used seems to indicate their delivery may take up to five working days!! Bloody irritating, because I feel 'bound to the house' until I get it, lest I should briefly pop out and miss it. :o( . . put a post-it note on the door again before walking FGn. Wow - what a warm (even hot?) proper summery morning. . . recovered from the walk with a coffee in the garden, but at that time of a summers day, the sun was beating down onto the chairs under the pergola, and I actually ended up feeling uncomfortably too hot and had to retreat inside! Spotted another smart looking necktie wearing guy, with a camera around his neck, wander into next doors garden. I 'think' there can be little doubt, they ARE having valuations done for selling! . . . pottered around in the PC room for a bit whilst monitoring (quiet) radios. Even with both the PC room and bathroom windows open a crack in the hope of getting some air flowing through, the temperature in the PC room was up around an unheard of 22C - which actually felt a 'little' too warm for comfort. Can't win. lol . . .ate grated cheese and mayo sandwiches with some mini cheddars . . napped . . skipped the walk and just played ball in the warm garden for a while. . fried and chopped up the chicken breasts P had donated for Bella and then mixed it all up with some 'complete' and a mug of instant gravy for her evening meal. (She DOES eat better than I do!) . . TVd/guitarred briefly . . ate salmon sandwiches, mini cheddars, a bunch of biscuits and a little chocolate . . to bed around 1:30am.
18 - Up around 8am. 18C in, 13C out, misty damp. . . Put a post-it-note on the front door asking for any parcel delivery to maybe left with a neighbor (just in case!) and then walked FGn in the grey. My in/out thermometer in the house doesn't suggest anything is particularly different, but it felt noticeably warmer and more comfortable out to me. Despite the covering of misty grey, it actually felt quite pleasant I thought . . . recovered from the walk with coffee etc before tidying up just a little, prior to setting up my 'solder station' on the kitchen worktop. Took my time and set about constructing and soldering up the oscillator kit of parts that came from Thailand yesterday. All pretty straightforward (despite the in Taiwanese (gobbledeegook to me of course!) instruction sheet!). Built the kit 'as supplied', except for the miniature 'on/off' switch. Left that out and connected up leads to a morse key instead. Eventually dared to connect up the battery and give it a go. Well - it works at least. :o) Hmmmm - interesting. Overall, the sound it produces is really pretty close to what I've already acheived with 'my' 555 timer circuit. Really not much in it at all. 'As supplied', it has no volume control and has a fixed volume, which is definitely less than mine can acheive. As things stand, 'mine' IS better - but it sure demands further investigation and experimenting with - 'some time'. Trouble is - same old same old - I just don't have a wide enough range of different value components to replicate, modify and experiment with the circuit (yet?). NOR do I actually in any way understand how it's doing what it's doing (yet?)! Anyway, I guess thankfully, I do NOT regret the few s it cost. 'Theoretically' - if I were to simply incorporate it into some sort of homemade wooden plinth, more or less as it is, and stick that key I got yesterday on top, I could very likely get my money back (on e-bay) on the whole deal. All is definitely not lost. Just more clutter and things to get round to littering the place! . . . PCd this . . . ate a microwaved meat and pastry pie, tin of baked beans, some grated cheese and some mini cheddars . . napped until the 7pm alarm . . walked BGdns with a coffee in just a bodywarmer and shirt sleeves! The weather had brightened up to warm and sunny with almost no breeze, so ended up sitting around for ages and didn't get back home until around 9:45pm . . TVd/guitarred briefly . . ate six fishfingers wrapped in slices of bread and butter in the early hours . . to bed shortly before 3am.
17 - Woke earlier snoozed on then up around 8:40am. 18C in, 12C out, grey and damp. . . walked FGn in full weather gear, just as the sprinkle of rain stopped and things began to brighten up slightly . . . soldered a different longer piece of coax onto the homemade slimjim antenna I've been experimenting with inside a piece of conduit. Would you believe it - that had the effect of completely messing up what until then had been a good SWR and resistance reading on P's meter!!! Ended up dicking-about with it for ages AGAIN, but couldn't get it back as sweet as it had been before!?? . . the postman delivered both the 'buy-it-now' morse key I'd bought the other day on e-bay, AND the oscillator kit from Thailand. Quickly unwrapped the morse key. At first glance it appeared 'ok' - but a closer examination suggested otherwise. The knob/lever mechanism wasn't sitting very well in the bearings at all! That was eventually 'acceptably' sorted out by making adjustments to the various pivot/bearing adjuster screws. Only when I actually connected it up to my morse oscillator to try it out, did I realise that something more serious was definitely not right! The lever which I gather (not had one like this before so not 'totally' sure) is supposed to be a quick gap-adjuster, simply didn't seem to do anything, other than short the damn thing and give a permanent 'key-down' effect!???? Huh? Something VERY not right there!??? Left it for later and got back to messing around with the damned slimjim antenna again for a bit - inside it's conduit and temporarily clipped to the pergola in the garden! . . Ok - enough is enough - I could spend the rest of my life messing around with slimjims like this! Crazy amount of time to put into it, only for the 'slightest' little change to ANY of the variables, to COMPLETELY alter EVERYTHING else! If I had my own analyzer, I'd probably bloody mindedly keep at it and ultimately get to the bottom of how the different things interact and come up with a 'once and for all' set of measurements etc, but just borrowing one makes me feel as though I'm under pressure all the time. I think I need to return Ps antenna analyzer NOW (he wanted it back within the next couple of days anyway), and just draw a line under it all for the time being. It HAS all just confirmed my previous experience of messing with that design of antenna. An absolute pain in the rear to get it done 'right'! Having said that, I DO still HIGHLY rate those antennas when you DO get them working ok. . called P on the local repeater (actually using the VX7 and the slimjim - worked very ok) to check he was in and suggest I should pop over and return his analyzer. He said he WAS going out 'soon', but if I could get there quick, no problem. . dropped everything and rushed to finish my coffee and get the reel of cable and his analyzer etc into a rucksack. Quickly raced across town with Bella and returned everything, with thanks (and the slimjim I'd knocked up for him, (frustratingly the best I've acheived!) for what little it's worth). Bella was treated to much ham and suchlike from P's fridge again. Even given some chicken breasts to take home for her! . . .eventually left Ps and carried on up to the nearby park and played ball for a bit. It'd warmed and brightened up quite a bit, and was quite pleasant to sit up there for a while . . returned home and recovered from the walk with a coffee in the garden whilst having a closer look at the 'iffy' morse key. Unscrewed it from the piece of junk rubbishy timber it was screwed to, and examined and studied it for ages, trying to figure out why on earth that lever was doing what it was. Spots of what appeared to be the original manufacturers glue on a nut and the screw heads underneath, suggested it had NOT been dismantled and reassembled wrongly!? At length (because my mind simply didn't want to accept something SO absurd) I had no choice but to accept what really DOES appear to be the case. Image of a cheap 'repro' morse keyI am now sadly FIRMLY convinced, that key is nothing more than a cheap Japanese 'display' copy of a more expensive one!!!! It's been made to look like a 'proper one' - but SO badly, that adjustment lever is purely for show and actually CANNOT function. Worse than that - because of the way it's been attached, if you attempt to adjust it like you imagine you should, it actually just shorts the key and makes it unuseable!! :o( (Hmm - actually - if that lever was simply unscrewed and completely removed (which IS possible), it would still be an 'eye appealing' and quite useable, basic key!) So - (as ever!) that was NOT as good a deal as it appeared (I canNOT criticise the seller) - I unwisely jumped straight in and burned my fingers a bit. :o( Having said all that, I suspect it isn't a 'complete' loss of money. With that lever removed, and 'presented' in the right way, it's still probably possible to ultimately acheive a reasonable re-sale price as a basic practice key - to someone as novice/ignorant as I apparantly am about such things! Humph. Live and learn. . .tidied up just a bit of the mess around the place before spending the next couple of hours doing dishwashing chores . . drank a glass of red wine . . cooked up a huge bowl of mashed potatoe with chopped onion and ate the 'nest' with a tin of mince and peas . . wow - a big flash outside the front window (southish) somewhere around 8pm. Lightning! Nervously counted down the seconds until I heard the thunder. Phew - quite some distance away - and the next flash was even further away, so I didn't bother racing up to the radios to disconnect antennas. To be honest, given how I'm so low down on the side of the valley with all manner of tall metal things way up in the sky above me all around (the innactive amateur's lattice tower with a flag on, just up the road - and the couple of enormous mobile phone masts just a little further on up the street), I really don't think I have much to 'actually' worry about from any nearby lightning ever. .quite a downpour. . TVd the night away watching a 'stack' of programs, on various channels one after the other. . ate a couple of bowls of co-co krispies . . to bed around 1am.
16 - Woke earlier snoozed on then up around 8:45am. 19C in, 11C out, grey and drizzly. . . walked FGn in full weather gear and sat and played ball in the light rain for as long as I could tolerate. Crazy people walking around in T-shirts!? . . .Construction Image of a 145mhz, 300 Ohm ribbon cable SlimJim Antenna with measurementsshould have been getting on with stuff, but just wasn't in the mood (again!) and ended up 'playing' on the PC. It's been SO much time consuming hassle these last few days, messing around with that damned slim ribbon-feed cable trying to make up those SlimJims, I figured I'd better 'make a note' (with photos) for possible future reference, of the measurements (with THAT particular combination of types of wire) which ultimately ended up working reasonably well. It ended up being TOTALLY different sorts of measurements than any others I've seen plans for, but I'm rather inclined to think that's par for the course when people make these things up. Different types of wire makes for different lengths, gaps, etc etc etc ad infinitum! That particular ribbon cable is rather thin and lightweight (and my RG58 coax is dirt-cheap rubbishy stuff too)! The SWR isn't 'perfect', but it's more than 'safe', and certainly seems to do the business when conected up to my radios. Anyway - time to put all that to one side now I think. . . ate a tin of soup and four crusts of buttered bread followed by a banana and a square of chocolate . . . PCd briefly. The Datong morse tutor seller had messaged me yesterday saying it'd be posted by courier on Monday. I decided to reply thus : "Thanks for keeping me informed. I 'anxiously' await! The last D70 I bought on e-bay turned out to have a (documented) fault and had to be returned for refund! Not all the regular characters were produced, and on top of that, some 'illegal' characters were thrown in for good measure!!! (See here if you are interested :- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NzAjsj2cJr4)
I'll be holding my breath until I get this one! Sincere regards
". I'd innocently thought that was a pretty benign sort of comment, but I HAD thought it may have encouraged him to FULLY check the thing before he sent it to me! (If the situation was reversed - if someone had sent that comment to me, I WOULD have been filled with 'doubt', and would VERY carefully have checked the FULL operation of that tutor AGAIN before finally sending it! What I didn't in any way anticipate, was his reply. "NOTHING WRONG WITH THIS UNIT AND OTHER ITEMS - IF YOU ARE INTERESTED !! IT LEFT HERE WORKING 100 % AS PER LISTING SO SORRY AN EBAY PURCHASE IS A LEGALLY BINDING CONTRACT IF AS PER LISTING AND IT IS AS PER LISTING SO SORRY SICK OF SCREWDRIVER EXPERTS SAYING THE ITEM IS FAULTY OR MESSED ABOUT WITH - NO OFFENCE MEANT BUT I HAVE TWO ON GOING DISPUTES WITH BUYERS USING THE EBAY SELLERS FORUM WHICH PROTECTS SELLERS RIGHTS ON EBAY - I SAID ON LISTING IT WAS WORKING 100 % WHEN DISPATCHED AND IT IS - SO NO REFUNDS AT ALL 100 % MANY THANKS SIR ". Blimey!!!! That's a bit of an overly defensive/aggressive response isn't it - all a 'shouting'? Oh dear - that doesn't bode well methinks!!!!! :o( I dare not reply. VERY anxiously awaiting receipt of it now!!!!!!!!!! :o( . . . napped until the alarm at 7pm . . . headachey and feeling real lousy!? Annadin tablet and TVd the evening away hardly moving. . ate pate rolls, crisps and half a sponge cake . . to bed around 2:30am.
15 - Up around 8:15am. 19C in, 15C out, sunny spells and windy. 40mph gusts forecast for during the day! . . woke at the PC whilst charging various batteries. Touched base with Mum and 'called off' her usual Saturday visit, because I wanted the option of maybe watching this years trawler race which was on later, and didn't want to have to rush back and miss it . . . walked late and headed straight down through town on the way to BGdns. It wasn't long before the 'nature of the day' was apparant. In the middle of the busy, bustling (pedestrian) high street, somone had dropped a large glass bottle of gin or vodka - and just walked away leaving the broken glass all laying there! Everyone was just walking around it and leaving it there (only six feet from a refuse bin)! Couldn't help myself picking up the largest of the pieces and putting it in the bin, before carrying on through town and down to the harbor. Only 10:30am, but there were already huge crowds of people all drinking outside the harborside pubs, and people were carrying enormous amounts of booze around everywhere you looked. Not a place for me this day - I didn't hang around, and pretty soon 'escaped' to the relative peace and quiet of Battery Gardens, down by our usual seat, near the yacht club hut which is used as 'race control'. Played ball for a bit while keeping an ear on the radios. A passing rain shower saw us both take shelter for a bit (with a handful of other people) in the nearby urine-filled gun emplacement. I'd read somewhere or other (online?) that the race would start at 11am. Turned out it wasn't in fact starting until somewhere around midday, so it turned out to be quite a long wait we all had. The weather eventually brightened up a bit to breezy sunny spells as more people and dogs started to fill the place. Eventually retreated to my favourite vantage point down there - atop the roof of the other gun-emplacement, to watch the trawlers emerge from the harbor and start to muster on the other side of the breakwater before eventually all starting their 'race'. Image of Brixham Trawler Race 2013I think it's fair to say, I've seen better. There didn't seem to be anywhere near as many boats as I've seen before, and many didn't seem to have bothered quite so much about decorating them with as many flags and bunting etc. Listening in on the radio was also somewhat enlightening. The overall impression I got, was that 'health and safety' and race 'over organisation' has rather - um - well, frankly potentially spoiled the event (a sentiment shared by many others (locals especially) who can remember much further back than I)! Everyone appeared to have to report in to race control with the numbers of people and how many lifejackets they had on board - and then they were given a stricktly 'staggered' race start time!? All the boats only made a single circuit of the bay, and whilst doing so, there appeared to be some confusion over where the markers for the course actually were, and there was plenty of radio banter from a few of the skippers about what a mess it all was and how badly organised it was, and how they were supposed to be having fun - not this 'shite'!!! The lifeboat ended up taking up positions to help indicate where the markers for the course turns were. It WAS nevertheless, still as always, quite a spectacle to see so many big boats ranting around the bay like that. I WOULD recommend making the effort to come see it to anyone so inclined . . windy damp and cold atop my gun emplacement - wrestling to keep exciteable and bored Bella under control on her lead, but out of my way, I DID half heartedly dabble with the camera and camcorder just a little, but really only for a single still for here in mind. EVERYONE these days has cameras and phones on them ALL the time, and every single possible bit of ANY event WILL have been captured by someone somewhere, from every conceivable location and angle. As a result, it seems increasingly pointless to me, to be filming or photographing anything ever! I appear to also be having an issue with all my rechargeable batteries, particularly in the scanner and stills camera. I think I need to renew them ALL!! :o( . . with their single circuit done, all the trawlers eventually headed back into harbor, to presumably carry on with their shore-side 'piss up' in earnest. . played ball with Bella for a bit after most everyone else had gone from the gardens, before ultimately heading back. . Returned via Mums for a quick chat and a coffee, and to pick up the paper and food donations she had for me. Suddenly started feeling not so good and rather tired and having trouble holding a conversation!? Soon headed home . . TVd a bit and then managed to eat a banana, some crisps, some mini cheddars and two bread rolls spread with mum donated soft garlic pate followed by a square of chocolate. Napped for a good few hours pretty soon after . . . woke just before the 7pm alarm . . TVd . . PCd this for hours until early, trying to catch up on the last few days . . .TVd. Ate a banana and half a small sponge cake before to bed around 3am.
14 - Woke earlier, snoozed on, then up with the alarm at 8am. 18C in, 12C out, grey. . . walked FGn with a brief hint of rain in the air . . . recovered from the walk and then got all clean and sweet smelling for the dentists benefit again. . left Bella home alone and walked to the dentist for my 11:30am appointment. Checked in at reception. Someone was sat in the ground floor waiting room with her husband's little guide dog while he was in having treatment. Couldn't resist asking if I could, and then having a bit of stroke and fuss of the little guy. Wow - every dentist's treatment room should have a resident dog to ease patients' anxiety. . . a brief 'pacing around' wait in the upstairs waiting room before soon called in, pretty much exactly on time. Oh wow - the dentist already apparantly had two (wax - dummy?) false teeth plates for me to try in my mouth, made from the impressions she'd taken. All a very weird and totally alien concept to me. I expressed I wasn't sure what she wanted from me here, because I wasn't going to be able to say yes they fit or no they don't, because I haven't any experience of any such thing. I think she said it was more for HER to see how they fitted/looked, from a 'technical' point of view. She crammed them both in my mouth, one top and one bottom. I guess I have to conclude they were a remarkable 'fit', the way they went in and tightly between the few remaining teeth, and I suppose they looked like I had a full mouth of teeth in the mirror, but oh myyyyyy god, what an unpleasant feeling. The worst thing of all was, NO WAY could I speak with them in!!!!!!!!!!!??? The lower plate mostly, seemed to totally prevent my tongue from doing what it should to be able to simply talk! I ended up making muffled and slurred noises like I was sucking a sock!!!!!! That was a terrible disappointing shock, and I was SO pleased when she soon took them back out! :o( THIS aspect of my future is now worrying me substantially! :o( . . quickly carried on with two injections on the right hand side of my mouth this time - one top, one bottom. The lower injection was agony! Something about trying to get as close to the jaw and nerve as possible. The dentist used the term 'like an electric shock' (how the hell does she know? I bet she's never had it done to HER!) but that WAS pretty much what the sensation was like whilst she was administering the injection. Like a prolongued electric shock into my jaw, and worse, down inside my tongue! THAT must be the worst one I've EVER had. :o( . Once sensation had mostly gone, she did one filling front bottom right, and then went for the main event - the extraction top right rear (the last tooth back there I had left to chew with!). With that usual awful squeaky crunchy noise (the second worst thing about having a tooth pulled out?), it painlessly came out in two pieces. That was pretty much that for this week, and I was incredibly back home by around midday! . . . with my mouth all numb and spitting blood (and a small piece of tooth at one point), and not feeling particlarly tired, I somehow mustered up the energy to have a bash at mowing the lawns in the break in the weather before more forecast rain. Mowed both lawns front and back and then started tidying up edges with the strimmer. Oh no!!! Damn, damn, damn. The strimmer broke! Broke proper. Plastic lugs on the rotating head all sheared off! From the look of it, that is NOT going to be in any way repairable! Damn. :o( Did the best I could with the hand shears instead before eventually calling it quits. . . Followed that up by doing some long overdue vacuuming of the carpets downsatirs - and then - OH NO - I DON'T BELIEVE IT - the new vacuum handle broke!! The catch mechanism that holds the handle on, fell all to pieces, meaning the handle would not stay attached, rendering it unusable!!! As luck would have it, the catch mechanism pieces fell to the floor more or less in a heap and did NOT get sucked up the machine, and it was possible to carefully pick them all up and keep them more or less assembled. Probably took me at least half an hour, but I eventually figured out how to put all the spring and little bits back together again, and ascertained that it was simply a single miniature screw which had come undone and adrift. Ultimately had it all WD40d and back together again, working better than it had ever done. Phew - WHAT a HUGE relief!!

-/unfinished/- . . . . played aerials again and knocked up another slim jim and then experimented with ferrites and conduit, largely out in the garden until early evening . . . This is NOT getting done with that analyzer, what I'd wanted to borrow it for!!!! -/unfinished/-

replaced the patch leads I'd 'borrowed' from the radios, and checked everything was working ok. With the PC already on, I spontaneously made the mistake of having a quick look on e-bay - because it appears that at the moment, with people doing other things, there ARE potential good buys to be had. I have NO idea what came over me - but somehow 'the madness' had returned?!!!!! A recently listed morse-code key caught my eye. It was a buy-it-now listing for a different style of key to any I've had before, for just 12.99 inc postage. It struck me it didn't even matter particularly what type it was for THAT price, it WAS worth snapping up - so I just did!!!!!!!????? Not content with THAT bit of madness, I promptly went even madder - big time! An auction was soon to end for a Datong D70 morse tutor, an extension speaker and another morse key as a job lot, for 48 inc postage with no bids yet placed. Probably no bids because it was over-priced! Nevertheless, perhaps assuming it would go to a higher bidder in the last few seconds as is usual, I 'casually' waited for the end of the auction and put a last few seconds minimum bid in on it. Damn it - I won the auction!!! What the f*** was I thinking???!!!! Oh well - what's done is done. Dunno WHAT sort of a crazy mood I was in there!? Dangerous. :o( My remaining e-bay sales money will fast disappear if I keep doing stupid stuff like that! Oh dear - here we go again then. Fingers very VERY crossed - again! :o( . . spontaneously headachey. Annadin tablet . .walked FGn with a coffee. Sat on our usual seat trying to ignore some nearby young 'youths' who were running around being loud and obnoxious. One of them jumped into a large flower bed and started throwing large clumps of the soil at his mates and all over the paths and grass! A while ago the council workmen had done lots of work and planted spring flowers all in that bed. They'd flowered and looked pretty for a short while, and then the council workmen returned and put in hours more removing them, composting and digging over the whole bed (and planting other later flowering types perhaps?). Given the economic situation and all the cuts etc, it absolutely astounds me that such sums of money should be spent on such a thing! To THEN have some dumb kid trash it all? I could NOT contain myself and simply sit there and ignore it. It wasn't as though he just threw one or two bits and then stopped - he carried on, and on and on!!! I eventually got to my feet and started slowly walking towards them and shouted out 'ENOUGH, ENOUGH'! I've learned nothing have I!!! Despite all that 'Bristol' stuff, I STILL can't just ignore such stuff?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :o( Funny thing was, once I'd had my shout and told them to stop throwing the dirt around the place, they actually DID stop - and called back 'sorry'!!!!! I didn't even hear any abuse shouted back at me. (They kept that amongst themselves I suspect). Things ARE different down here - still - thank god. :o| . .sat and drank my coffee (but didn't enjoy doing so). . back through some drizzle . . drank a glass of wine . . TVd/guitarred a little. . eventually ate corned beef cheese and mayo sandwiches, banana, half a treacle tart and chocolate biscuits . . to bed around 1am.
13 - Up around 8:30am. 18C in, 13C out, grey and windy. Headachey. . . walked FGn and back via the store for supplies. Also stopped off at the builders merchant and bought a pack of 10 new stanley knife blades (3.46). . . PCd/radiod locally a bit and then spent the day messing with slimjim aerials again as occasional rain showers blew through

-/unfinished/-. .started from scratch . . .reached a seemingly working version. Actually working pretty damned well!! . . .. used that 'template' to make up another for P as he'd requested. It works, but I strongly doubt he'll ever want to use it! lol -/unfinished/-

at some point during the late afternoon, Bella suddenly started barking in the garden at someone in the garden next door. I called her in and shut her up. Hmmmm - I may be wrong, but that sure looked like a guy maybe doing a valuation on the property? Blimey - is she gonna be selling up? Maybe that's what that nonsense fence panel behind my pergola thing was all about? Just papering over the cracks and making it look ok to sell? All a bit worrying. . called a halt to messing with aerials etc and cleared up around 7pm . . . walked BGdns. Yayyy - the guys in the tent have finally gone. :o) The scar of the dieing grass beneath where their tent had been, bears enduring testament to how long they'd been there. The weather had improved on earlier, and we actually got to sit in the pleasant late evening sun watching the yachts for quite a while. . . drank a glass of red wine . . TVd . .cooked and ate four quarter pound cheesebugers with mayo and ketchup in buttered rolls . . .TVd until to bed around midnight.
12 - Up around 8:20am. 18C in, 13C out, windy, grey and mizzley. . walked FGn in full weather gear in the drizzle . . . carefully read through Ps antenna analyzer manual and tried to get a feel for how it works, before then testing it out on various antennas around the place. Ok - I 'think' I get it, and at least my colinears on the roof and pole out front all have acceptable readings. Wow - even the marine-band copper tube slimjim I put together, which is still hung up in the attic, reads as being pretty well tuned for the centre of the band-ish. That's a pleasant suprise - I just had to 'wing it' with the tuning of that when I made it, because I didn't have an analyzer and of course couldn't actually apply any RF to it. On the down side, the half built coax colinear appears not to be in any way resonant anywhre near where I thought it should be? .

-/unfinished/- played at making up slim jims with the twin feedd ribbon cable . It did NOT go well! Foul foul mood.-/unfinished/-

called it quits around 8pm and tidied up just a bit . . . TVd . . . ate bowls of rice krispies followed a while later by two quarter pound cheeseburgers in buttered rolls with mayo and ketchup and then a couple of squares of chocolate . . .TVd until to bed around 2am.
11 - Woke earlier snoozed on then up around 8am. 18C in, 12C out, rain and wind . . . walked FGn in full weather gear in the blowing light rain/drizzle. Back via the store for tobacco supplies (4 x 50g and some papers @ 68.42). Back home by around 10:30am by which time the rain had pretty much stopped . . . PCd a bit of this. Paused mid-typing to investigate (and have a proper close look with my glasses on) the continuing irritation to the inner side of my right foot, where that piece of Mum's damned pyracantha speared me through my shoe the other day. Turned out, like I've experienced so often before with that awful stuff, it'd left the 2mm long tip of the thorn in my flesh! 'Operated' in time-honoured tradition, with a sharp pointed blade penknife, and eventually managed to extract it, without 'too' much collateral damage. Ouch. . .recieved an e-mail to say the morse oscillator kit thingy I ordered on e-bay yesterday has allegedly been dispatched. Liable to take up to 25 working days - and coming from Bangkok, Thailand!!! How bizarre . . hadn't intended to, but ended up having a bit of a chat (interrupted by D calling to touch base) on the radio on the local repeater for quite a while. P across town joined the conversation and said he wanted a bit of help with something he couldn't manage with his fingers, so I felt obliged to pretty much head straight over. I also figured it'd be a good opportunity to have a look at his antenna analyzer. Took the half built coax colinear with me rolled up in a pocket . . walked down and up the valley (a short distance, but quite an arduous climb) with Bella and was soon there. . coffee and chats. Turned out what he wanted a hand with, was simply his (Baeofeng ?) handheld radio. That was unexpected - and a bit of a shame, because P thought I had the same sort of radio. I do NOT, and had absolutely NO idea of how to use the thing or potentially sort out the problem he had with it. (All these new menu-driven radios are SO clever/complicated, it doesn't take much to get completely lost in the damn things - and for that one, having a manual written by a Chinese person who can't REALLY speak English was NO help at all!) Nevertheless, it presented a bit of a 'challenge' to me, and ultimately I WAS happily able to figure out that with just a few key presses, I could get it back into the configuration he was used to. Yayy. :o) . Bella was treated to pieces of ham, and a big chunk of garlic sausage thingy from the back of P's fridge. :o) . bizarrely continued to sup my coffee and chat (I DID offer to leave) when a woman arrived to wash and cut his hair!! lol Actually quite interesting to hear them both chatting. They are both proper locals from this little town. Throughout their conversation, whatever they were speaking of, they seemed to BOTH now exactly who they were referring to - by name! I DID feel very much like a tolerated 'outsider'. . got to have a look at Ps antenna analyzer, intending to quickly hook it up to the coax colinear I'd brought with me in a pocket. I needn't have bothered - incredibly generous as always, P said I could actually borrow it for a few days!! Yayyyyyyy. EXCELLENT. He ALSO had a reel of some 300ohm twinlead ribbon cable laying on the floor nearby. I expressed an interest in that, since I'd been eager at some point to have a go at trying to make up a slimjim antenna out of something similar, as per plans I'd seen on the net. Hey presto - I was soon walking home with both the analyzer AND the reel of cable - although, it felt as though a bit of 'pressure' had been put on me, when P suggested I should make HIM a slimjim from it too! . . . ate corned beef, mayo and grated cheese sandwiches with even a few crisps (mostly 'sucked' and nibbled with my front teeth) followed by a bit of chocolate . . set the alarm for 7pm and napped. Didn't wake until almost 8pm!? Turns out I hadn't reset the alarm to PM since when I had it set for getting up for the dentist last week . . raining. Skipped the walk . . TVd ('Animal Heros' - about animals (dogs mostly) used by the armed forces etc). Shed a couple of tears when a german shepherd was filmed being put down by a vet. :o( . Mum (watching the program too) called to touch base soon after, while I was still blowing my nose and drying my eyes!. . TVd . . BB called to touch base . . . PCd/radiod locally until early as rain and strong gusts of wind continued . . ate chopped ham sandwiches, crisps and a square of chocolate gone 2am. . TVd until to bed around 4am.
10 - Woke earlier snoozed on then up around 8:35am. 19C in, 11C out, cloudy . . . walked FGn. On the way to the green, I was met by the bizarre sight of a small area of devastation next to the path which is a shortcut to the field behind the small bungalows (with people from nearby houses and passers-by all stopping to have a look). A substantial section of brick garden wall and all the fencing above it had been somehow torn apart and knocked down!! The substantial amount of destruction, was not dissimilar to that I've witnessed before when a vehicle has smashed into someones wall - but that was NOT the case on this occasion. There was no broken glass or evidence of a vehicle having been involved, and the broken fence timbers and bricks had all been broken outwards from the persons garden!!??? Someone from a nearby house 'suggested' it had been done by yobs in the night!!! Wow - that's deeply disturbing - although, difficult for me to readily believe. The robust timbers of that section of the fence had actually been snapped and broken and splintered into pieces, and the substantial brick wall was in previously good and robust condition. Seems like it would have taken a real concerted, deliberate and sustained effort to do THAT much damage to it all - almost like you'd have needed a car with a tow hitch and a chain around a fence post! All VERY weird and disturbing. Whoever owns that house now has a major worry and headache, having to deal with it all! :o( . . . returned home and briefly superglued the sole of my other training shoe, which has started to fall apart. When I throw Bella's ball a particularly long way (as is mostly my habit whenever I throw it), I seem to often end up twisting my whole body with the effort of it, and at the very last bit of the twist, inexplicably somehow partially lift the back of my right foot and can drag at the sole near my toes. It's THAT which seems to often put devastating pressure on worn out and failing shoes. Anyway - I superglued it and left it to set with rubber bands again, in an attempt to get a little more use out of them - again. . . couldn't muster the energy to 'do' anything again, and ended up aimlessly PCing for quite a while, trawling e-bay ads and the like. For a while now, there have been a couple of foreign adverts appeared on e-bay, for a cheap morse-code oscillator type kit. Given all the parts and keys I have amassed, at some point in the future when I have the mindset and energy etc, I DO have every intention of returning to my practice-oscillator project/obsession. (All that really has become like a whole little time consuming hobby in itself - which I'm just never getting round to! lol) If I had a suitably large array of components etc, I COULD have had a go at following the circuit diagram included in that advert, and knocking one up myself to try out (to see how it compares/performs to all the others I've seen/tried. Notably no IC chip in this one - just a few transistors) - but sadly (as ever) I DON'T have all the required components. Although I'm sure it IS undoubtedly gonna end up being (yet more) money just 'thrown away', after having become slightly 'obsessed' with the damn thing for the last several weeks (every time I bumped into the advert), I eventually just pressed the button and ordered one (just to be able to lay it to rest and get over it). Ordered a 'Morse Code Sound Oscillator CW Practice DIY KIT Education Electronic Ham Project' for $11.49 inc postage - which converts to around 7.65 I think. Ridiculously cheap really, given it includes the parts, a PCB AND a loudspeaker! Given the outrageous postal prices here now, I don't think I could even buy just the parts here for that much. Anyway - as I say, money 'thrown away', but it WILL be interesting to ME, to finally get to (no doubt very briefly) play with and experiment with one which isn't based around an IC chip. . . Bugger - it would appear that my secondary/smaller of the two, PC monitor is starting to exhibit a fault. :o( . . . TVd/sat around aimlessly the whole rest of the day through, and ultimately feeling pretty cold even though it wasn't . . eventually retreated to bed (late) and napped for just a bit until around 6:50pm . . walked FGn with a coffee. Sat playing ball, I thought I could hear 'something' going on, down in the direction of the harbor. Some music maybe? Eventually ended up going to investigate, and headed off to return home via the inner harbor. Turned out, the small brass band called 'Deja Vue' (who I HAVE seen there before) were playing as a charity fundraiser under the old fish market roof. A VERY small audience of passers by was stood watching, with probably as many (or more!) others involved in rattling collection tins. Ended up sitting on a seat on the harborside next to the Golden Hind replica, sipping my coffee, having a couple of smokes, and listening to the music for quite a while. Felt obliged to put a little small change in a tin once it'd all finished, as I carried on past, back up to FGn on the way home. . . TVd . . drank a glass of red wine . . cooked and ate a large amount of mashed potatoe with a tin of onions and mince in gravy with some peas . . .TVd until to bed around midnight.
9 - Up around 7:45am. 20C in, 13C out, sunny. . . walked FGn. A chilled-out old brown labrador called 'Eric' was happily wandering around having a sniff about the place as I sat on 'my' usual seat. He made the mistake of wandering over to have a sniff at some sort of small terrier someone else was walking ON a lead. I didn't actually see it happen, but apparantly the terrier 'had a go' at Eric when he approached. A proper, nasty go!! Poor Eric ended up with a nasty tear in his right ear, with plenty of blood flowing from it - although as dogs so often do, he didn't seem to be bothered by it, and was still wagging his tail shortly after! Well - THAT ruined for his owner, what had started out as a really nice summery day in prospect. Got ME all up tight, because there started being a bit of potential for some unpleasantness between the two dog owners. It may not have helped, but I DID gently point out to Eric's 'irate' owner, that it was HIS dog who was NOT on a lead, whereas the other one was - so 'in the eyes of the law' so to speak, the terrier owner couldn't really be held to blame. . how quickly, easily and suprisingly such things can happen when you are a dog owner. The rewards ARE immense - but it IS a terribly risky business having a dog. :o| . . . returned home to pick up the hedge trimmer from the garage and then headed for mums, to do the bit of hedge pruning she'd said she wanted doing a while ago . . . climbed up Mums step ladder and reached up into the tall palm tree in her garden, and eventually succeeded in removing with a pair of long armed loppers, the ugly 'seed balls' she wanted rid of. That was the quick and easy bit. . used the ladder and secateurs, loppers and the hedge trimmer to trim down the run of pyracantha plantings that line one side of Mums garden, increasingly like a hedge, next to her fence. Cut the height down all the way along to fence top level, and then generally trimmed and tidied up the rest. God how I HATE that pyracantha stuff. It is EVIL stuff! Lethal great bit spikes on the ends of every piece. Even being VERY careful, and wearing thick leather gardening gloves, I ended up getting pretty scratched and spiked up. Damn - one bit of cutting laying on the lawn even succeeded in going right through the side of my shoe and into my foot! Evil, EVIL stuff!! . . eventually put in an hour or more chopping all the cuttings up into bag sized chunks - mostly by just slashing away at and heaving over the pile, with the hedge trimmer blades. Mum isn't used to MY penny pinching way of disposing of garden waste like that - putting in hours of time to chop it all up into little pieces. ALL the trimming I did was eventually chopped up sufficient to be able to cram it all into more or less just ONE (bulging/heavy) refuse sack! Mum already had a couple of others ready to go - but that still meant that she would be paying the council to collect less bags on Tuesday, than she could have included in the extortionate price. That grated with penny pinching me of course! . . all done by around 2:30pm . . cleared up and sat around in the warm sunny garden for a bit and then both touched base with Sis2 briefly before heading home . . Returned home to find the new fence panel which had been laying in the neighbors garden for a while, had now been put in the place they had in mind for it - next to the rotten fence panel which was recently exposed by their trimming of all the (my?) hedge next to the end of my pergola!!! FFS! :o( They hadn't removed and disposed of the old shorter rotten panel between the fence posts as a sane and right thinking person would have done. They somehow fitted it to the face of the fence on their side. What that means is, at the end of my pergola, not have they only removed all the hedge on MY side destroying the 'privacy' of that little area, but I now have a view of the totally rotten fence panel together with a newer taller different coloured one fixed directly behind it!!!!! Looks an utterly atrocious mess from my side now - and moreover, because of what they've done, means I quite probably won't be able to remove and replace that rotten panel (in the proper way) if I wanted to!!! (I do NOT know who actually 'owns' that shared fenceline.) I really despair at how inconsiderate, selfish, self centred and simply foolish that is (again!)!!!!!! I appear to be stuck living next door to a total f***ing idiot! :o( And this is a person who has been so applauded for their 'work', they have been invited to Downing Street, etc!??? I'm amazed that house is big enough to contain the ego. Oh dear - I'm gettin' all wound up and childish about silly stuff. 'People'! <spit> :o( . . . . walked Bgdns and sat around with the radios for a bit. Loud music from the camping guys tent really irritated me lots. God I wish they'd be gone!! . . . back via the store for a few supplies - and a pricey (Almost 18? Local store is always slightly more expensive than elsewhere) 3Ltr box of red wine! . . . drank a glass of wine. Whatever that wine is - it cost me a bunch, it has less alcoholic content than I've been used to, and frankly it didn't taste very nice! Damn. . . TVd . . ate mini cheddars and two buttered bread finger rolls with mayo, grated cheese and 'scissor-cut' ham, later followed by half a large Mum donated treacle tart . . TVd until bed around 1am.
8 - Up around 6am, headachey and a bit too hot. 19C in, 12C out, sunny. Woke at the PC like usual, still feeling pretty fragile and tired. . . swallowed an annadin tablet and then walked FGn. . Picked up a load of litter that had been strewn ALL around across the grass of the playing field near the infants school - presumably as a result of gulls emptying out the nearby overflowing bin. Ewwwyuk! . A stiff easterlyish breeze, but the start of what promises to be a nice warm sunny day again. . . recovered from the walk in the garden with a coffee. I really don't feel too good at all - but I suspect because of sleep deprivation more than anything else. I haven't had anywhere near the amount 'I' need, for quite a while of late! :o( . . . put a load of laundry on and then PCd a bit of this (with fingers crossed it'll manage another load as ever - and trying to escape the horrendously loud, worn-bearings noise!) . got everything out on the line in the sun to dry and put on another load before Mum arrived with food donations, papers, etc. Inevitably pretty quickly had a conversation about the hoodie, during which I had the opportunity to apologise for my behavior on the phone the other day. I apparantly didn't understand the point mum was trying to make when she called. She was trying to suggest that the zip on that hoodie was not a 'female' type as I'd suggested, because to her knowledge there is no such thing (all her zipped clothes do up in the 'normal' way). To prove my point about how unacceptable the zip thing is to me, I forced Mum to try it on and give it a go at doing it up. My 'point proving' worked out better than I would have imagined. lol As Mum started wrestling with trying to do the zip up in the kitchen, I had time to calmly wander up to my bedroom, get one of my old hoodies out of the back of a cupboard and wander all the way back down - and she was STILL fumbling with trying to do it up! She DID succeed eventually - but my point was well proven, and I think she now understands. So - if it isn't a 'female' zip, then it can surely ONLY be a zip for a left handed person can't it? I dunno - it's beyond me - maybe I SHOULD try to muster up what it takes to return it? I just don't seem to be capable of doing even that at the moment. (Mum too says she's been 'down' of late) :o( . . . still feeling 'heady' and not too good. Popped another annadin tablet . . . managed to eat a piece of Mum donated gala pie with some mini cheddars and a banana. With so few teeth left, unable to really actually chew on anything any more (and trying to avoid the sore left side of my gums), it took a while! :o( . . . brought the already dry washing in off the line and then lay down to try to catch up on some badly needed sleep. Did NOT set the alarm - I need sleep SO bad, it's reached the point where I don't care when or for how long, as long as I get some (more)! . . woke earlier, slept on and didn't wake until around 7:40pm . . . TVd . .skipped the walk, because I'm STILL feeling rather tired, sore and fragile . . PCd a bit of this (while monitoring largely silent radios, as has been mostly the case locally for quite a while. Nice weather = people doing other things I guess?), trying to catch up . . . TVd . . . ate a banana and a couple of buttered soft bread rolls with mayo and two mum donated slices of beef, and a handful of mini cheddars. The beef I cut up into little chunks with scissors before putting it in the rolls, to enable my mouth/teeth to deal with it!! . . TVd until to bed near 3am.
7 - Around 7am the raging toothache finally 'eased off' to tolerable for no apparant reason - but leaving me feeling exhausted, wobbly, woozy and nauseas, the latter presumably through the assault of all the painkillers on an emptyish stomach. . walked FGn with a coffee a little early, feeling very fragile and dangerously short tempered (with Bella). Sunny but breezy. Couldn't drink all the coffee. . . recovered from the walk by just sitting quietly for a bit . . showered and got clean for the dentists benefit . . . eventually left Bella locked in alone at home and walked to the dentist for my 10:30am appointment. Got there early (of course), so a short wait (pacing around the empty waiting room) before being called in. I quickly explained my recent problems (the deteriorating broken/sharp 'culdera-like' tooth - and the overnight nightmare of pain) and apologised if I were to start being a bit unwell or falling asleep in her chair (as if!!). . she had a look in my mouth and confirmed she'd go for the two extractions on the left today, which 'should' resolve the recent issues. She started off by giving me two injections to the top left gum (which I DID have big trouble enduring. In my experience, those injections always hurt like hell) and then hit me with another two for the bottom left gum! I was able to just continue sitting in the chair as they immediately took effect, rather than have to go back out to the waiting room as has always been the case in my past. I started to feel a bit (more!) unwell - suddenly hot and sweaty - like you get before passing out or being sick!!! I had to sit up and just 'hold on for the ride'. Had to take my coat off - they turned the air conditioning up to pretty chilly for me. Suprisingly to me, as the numbing of my mouth rapidly took effect, the dentist announced she was needing to take two more impressions of my teeth (for the making up of the plates/false ones), and suggested she may as well do that now that I was losing feeling. I agreed of course - but since they'd already done all that the last time I was there, it 'worried me' they were having to do it again!! I didn't ask why. It wasn't pleasant having both those impressions made (again), but wasn't anywhere near as bad as the first time I had it done, presumably because of the injections and loss of feeling (or maybe even because the ambient temperature of the fast setting green goo was simply higher?). . with that done, it was then time to pull the two teeth. I DID make a comment to the dentist, that there must surely be a likelihood of the 'culdera' tooth fracturing into tiny pieces during the removal attempt. She reassured me that wasn't likely. . despite the 'painless' discomfort of her wrenching on it with her pliers, it 'amused' me that it DID indeed fall to bits as I'd suspected it would - requiring that she put a bit more work into trying to get all the individual pieces out! . it was far from pleasant, but given the effective numbing of the injections, both teeth were soon removed. I asked to have a look at the state of the one which hadn't fallen to pieces. Really was in a HELL of a state! Hardly even recognisable as a tooth at all!! . . I was given printed instructions about post removal care and recovery, together with some sort of gause pad for biting on and mopping up blood (which I haven't bothered using). With an appointment already made for next week for another extraction and possibly some fillings, I was soon on my way back out. Happened to glance in a mirror near the entrance, and then paused to pull bits of embarassing solidified rubbery green goo out of my beard! . headed home - very carefully, feeling a little sleep deprived dizzy and wobbling around a bit along the way!! Crossing the busy main road, seemed unusually 'difficult'!!? . . . soon back home, breifly in the garden and then in front the TV, 'recovering' and spitting plenty of blood for ages. Bella found my mouth of greater interest than usual! . . eventually dared to lay down and try to sleep . . managed to snatch just over 3 hours before being back awake, with the injections largely now worn off. Promptly spat out a chunk of 'culdera' tooth that had been lurking somewheree in my mouth, unfelt! Pretty sore and still plenty of blood in my mouth. . . sat in front the TV feeling awful fragile . . .walked BGdns real early, and sat around for quite a while feeling very iffy, weak and woozy. Eventually back via the store, looking for something I would be able to eat. Not hungry, but need food bad. Bought potatoes and a tin of mince and onions in gravy. . more sitting in front the TV. D called to touch base . . eventually tried to get some food inside me. Cooked up a large dish of mashed potatoe shaped into a nest, and then added the tinned mince mixed with some peas to the middle. Managed to eat it all without 'too' much discomfort - no chewing involved . . . TVd the rest of the evening off . . ate a few chocolate biscuits (dunked and soft) . . to bed around 11pm. All in all, given my recent mood, and then all this tooth nonsense, I'm really feeling like I've been through the mill a bit of late! :o(
6 - Up around 7:50am woken by the noise of a roofer getting ready to work on a house opposite. 19C in, 15C out, sunny. . Best weather of the year so far? Walked the Churston Cove beach and the woods. Given the recent good weather, people have obviously been camping and partying on the beach, and area of ground just behind. It was strewn and piled high with enormous amounts of litter, cans, bottles and all manner of disgusting debris. Looked like a vast refuse tip. Very nearly the worst I've seen it. Absolutely disgusts me people should casually abuse and destroy the place (and who knows what wildlife) in such a manner. It was SO bad, I have to confess, although I wouldn't dream of usually doing anything of the sort, I actually added the poop bag I was carrying to it all (had to put it down somewhere while I threw bellas ball into the water etc)!!!!!!!!!! <guilt> I didn't want to have to carry that bag for miles all the way round the walk before next encountering a bin (council cutbacks=less and less bins!) , and it really seemed absurd to pick it back up and be doing so, when others had happily dumped SO much rubbish there already anyway!! (I STILL feel guilty about, and regret having done that! How different my conscience is to others!) . eventually returned to BGdns to have a sit and some more ball play. In the distance, it appeared as best I could tell, that a group of people had appeared on the beach from somewhere, and it looked very much as though they were clearing up all the rubbish (and my poop bag of course!!!!!). No easy feat, because of the difficulty in accessing the site and the distance from the nearest roads etc. . . in BGdns where we sit and play ball, someone has been camping in a tent for the last couple of weeks. A couple of guys I think - who 'appear' to be drunk most of the time, and who seem to spend much of their days fishing from the rocks. I try not to be too much of a grouchy old killjoy - but I DO wish those guys would just pack up and f*** off! Theoretically, it is true to say that people shouldn't be camping there at all, but since generations of locals and people doing the long coastal path walk occasionally do, and little harm 'should' come of it, I guess one shouldn't get too pedantic about it. The problem I have with these guys (apart from the fact that two weeks or so is kinda overdoing it, and they are an obstruction to Bellas ball play etc) is that there are of course no toilet facilities anywhere near. I've been sat there playing ball with Bella and witnessed on more than one occasion, one of the guys simply stumble out of his tent and walk a few paces away from it, before just urinating right there on the grass in plain view! THAT behavior seems to be reserved for when there are less people around. When there ARE more people around, both those guys appear to walk the short distance to one or other of the nearby historic WWII searchlight bunkers, and happily urinate in the back of them! They have turned part of a valuable national heritage site (of which I am SO fond), which has frequent visitors and occasional guided tours (PARTICULARLY at THIS significant time of year), into their own disgusting stinking, running with pools of urine, private toilet!!! (The inside of those bunkers, particularly at the rear, NEVER get to see any rain. That disgusting mess will remain for good!) :o( . . eventually carried on all the way into town, around the harbour and on out to the breakwater, much mindful of the significance of the date. Paused and re-read the plaque attached to the end of the breakwater, commemorating the embarcation of troops from the nearby historic slipway, for the D-Day landings, etc. Throughout the whole morning's walk, as is my involuntary habit with such things, I couldn't escape imagining in some small part, the experience of those involved in the events of those days. Frequently almost overwhelming thinking about those poor people!! To be torn out of the life you knew, 'called up', subjected to such things!!!! WHAT horrors! 'I' simply could NOT have existed back then. . . on out to the end of the half mile long breakwater for a sit and a cig in the baking sun - and a drink of water for Bella from a rolled up freezer-bag 'bowl', before then heading back. Damn - the sole of one of my (recently sewn/'repaired') training shoes is starting to fall off from the toe back! . . back round the harbour and up onto FGn for a little more sitting as one of the ferries (Dart Venturer?) rescued and towed back to the mouth of the outer harbour, a jet ski who'd apparantly had a mechanical failure just off Shoalstone beach and had been luckily sighted frantically waving for help. The jet-ski was eventually handed over to the council patrol boat 'Oscar 4' to be towed back into Brixham harbour. . . TVd. There was an item on the news about how bi-polar Steven Fry had attempted (and very nearly succeeded) suicide a year or so ago. Given my current state, that of course struck quite a chord with me - and had me debate with myself and think YET again, about returning to anti-depressants. :o( I absolutely SHOULD - but I so, so, SO do NOT wish it! Why IS that??!!!!! . . . ate a six pieces of bread and butter pile of ham sandwiches . . onto the radios for a brief bit of local chat whilst monitoring coastguard response teams, called out for people stuck on the cliffs over by Torquay. Turned into quite a serious shout, and had me listening for quite a while. The person (f***ing idiot!) stuck half way up the cliff ended up being tied-off and kept in place by the CRTs until the rescue 106 helicopter flew in across Lyme Bay from Portland and winched him off and down to the safety of the path below. (All happened near where apparantly yesterday (while I was asleep) according to the local news, a guy just fishing from the shore, had somehow fallen in the water. After being pulled from the water and flown to Derriford hospital - he'd died!). Actually radiod a bit with D whilst all this was going on - because he was out radioing on 10mtrs from his car, right nearby all the action. I was really rather jealous that he'd had SUCH a good close-up view of the spectacle of the helicopter above him, etc, etc. . . aha - I received a reply from the guy who'd emailed me about the 'Derek Brimstone Live' music. His reply was suitably convincing, so I put in the (substantial!) amount of time it took me, to knock up a bunch of seperate e-mails and attach all the files and then ultimately send them to him. Just the uploading/sending of them took around 30 minutes on my 'slow' broadband connection! . . . napped (just after the roofer had finished making noise and packed up) until around 6:45pm . Difficulty waking. . . TVd the whole evening away. What IS it with the schedules, that I usually seem to find a sequential 'stack' of programs worth watching (and even some conflicting, that I can't watch), right the way through from early till late on a Thursday evening? . . superglued the seperating sole on my training shoe, trying to get a few more walks out of them yet! Held it all together with big rubber bands dropped by the postman, while the glue dried. Seemed to work out ok . . . ate a microwaved curry . . . soon after eating the curry, I developed a toothache up the left side of my head. It started off being pretty bad like I've had before, but then progressed and intensified and ended up being potentially worse than I've EVER experienced before. WHAT a cruel (or should I see that as happy?) coincedence I should get a toothache like this, the very night before being due to have a couple of extractions at the dentist. I've been 'aiming' for this dentist visit for weeks now, and was all ready to be early to bed and suitably prepared and ready for it! WHAT irony that all those 'plans' were immediately shot down in flames! . .sat around in agony (really), gulping mouthfulls of cold water, which was the only thing that seemed to briefly assist . . eventually to bed around 2am but no-way could I sleep through the pain. .tossed and turned in toe curling pain for ages, before getting back up and stumbling downstairs to swallow the last of the (Mums) paracetamols. Returned to bed only to continue my writhing. Those damned paracetamols had absolutely NO affect AT ALL!!!! Ohhwwww - SUCH pain!! Unusually, I couldn't even identify which tooth was the cause of the problem. All I knew was that it was the whole left hand side of my face! . . gave up trying to sleep around 4am and had absolutely NO choice but get back up. . Despite the risks of 'overdosing' and mixing, I ultimately swallowed one Annadin extra tablet AND crunched and dissolved in my mouth another. Again, unusually, they too had NO discernable effect on the pain!!! . . aimlessly PCd the night away, woozy tired and in agony, gulping mouthfulls of cold water every couple of minutes. Hours of my own private little hell going on. Horrendous experience - during which, if it had been offered, painless euthanasea would have been warmly accepted!! :o(
5 - Woke earlier snoozed on then up around 8:45am. 19C in, 14C out, sunny, but that slightly chilly breeze taking the edge off the nice day again. . . walked FGn late . . PCd, pottered around and listened to radios a bit . . at 1pm the postman delivered the hoodie I'd ordered via Amazon - and a size L (what I'd ordered) IS what it turned out to be, not an XL as stated in Amazon's confusing automated confirmations. It appeared to be ok - until I tried it on and - oh no - oh NO - it had a 'left handed' or 'womens' zip!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh for F**** SAKE!!!!!!Image of a 'left hand' zip!?? I don't believe it! I was already having real big trouble with an increasingly down and despairing mood - that really didn't help me one little bit. What the F*** IS it with these 'wrong way round' zips these days? Surely I can't be the only person in the world to have such a major issue over them? Sis2 gave me a coat or whatever it was (bought in the US) some time ago which had an identical 'left handed' type zip. It WAS a really nice coat, but I simply found it almost impossible to do the zip up without standing there for quite literally minutes trying to do so, and as a result, I just can't wear it. Sis2 insisted that it was nothing unusual and everything you buy in the states (for both male and female) was just like that, and she couldn't see a problem. Mum seems to have been convinced by her of the same. Makes me feel as though I'm just imagining it and some sort of nutcase! I AM NOT! It IS an issue for me! I'm over half a century old now for gods sake, and in all those years, EVERY single zip-up type item of clothing has ALWAYS done up in EXACTLY the same way. The actual physical process is 'instant' and ENTIRELY automatic - clasp the fabric in your left hand with your left thumb and forefinger holding the zip draw-tab steady at it's bottom stop, grasp the opposite side of the garments fabric near the bottom of the narrow zip-end with your right thumb and forefinger, thread in and firmly insert the zip-end into the narrow slot in the draw mechanism, whilst almost simultaneously drawing the mechanism up with your left hand to fasten the zip closed. SO quick - SO simple - SO automatic! Maybe it's because I'm right handed, but to have it 'suddenly' all around the other way, and have to try inserting that narrow zip-end into the draw mechanism slot with my LEFT hand - it is NOT quick - NOT simple - NOT automatic!! It's a bloody time consuming pain! I CANNOT do it whilst walking along the street. I have to stop, look down at what I'm doing, and concentrate to get it done. UTTERLY absurd. :o( Since NO mention is EVER made in the advertising of such 'left/right' hand zips, and the garments ARE 'allegedly' bisexual, IS IT me who's just a nutcase about such a stupid irritating thing - or is it something to do with globalisation and cheapo (Chinese?) manufacturers ignoring regional conventions and doing whatever they want because it's just cheaper???!!! I despair - over something SO stupid - I feel as though, yet again, I can do almost nothing without it going 'wrong' for me. I can't bring myself to send it back, but I KNOW - when reaching into the wardrobe for something warm to put on, I WILL now avoid pulling that out (and will continue to wear my hole filled, worn out rags) - because it just doesn't work for me as it should - like increasingly bloody everything else in my existance! Waste of (Mums!) money. Wish I hadn't bought it! Very pissed off! :o( . . ended up sat blankly in front of the TV, wrestling with my VERY 'down'. I just don't seem to be able to face trying to do ANYTHING right now. EVERYTHING seems utterly pointless and either doomed to failure or simply not possible - and the hard to bear frustration of that is all just going round and round and round in my head ALL the time. One of THE worst parts of all of that, which seems to be driving me constantly/increasingly down more than I can express, is all concerned with various parts of 'the house'! SO much needs to be done - bits of the place are just starting to fall to pieces - but I can't for the life of me see ANY way for me to deal with it. The front of the house and the shared flat roof structure over the front door in particular is all rotting away and BADLY urgently needs replacing. It's 'shared' with next door, so I simply can't get on and do anything (what?!!) about it, without 'organising'/motivating/agreeing something with next door. It ISN'T something my DIY skills can cope with - and even if I WAS to start trying to have a go at some sort of repair, without a car to visit DIY stores/builders yards and transport large/heavy stuff, I simply can't. That transport/car issue, is also a major stumbling block for all the other stuff that I can't do that 'tortures me' on a daily basis. The (rotten/leaking like a seive) conservatory out back needs demolishing and 'replacing' - with something. To simply perhaps write a cheque and spend thousands on a straightforward PVC conservatory replacement, would NOT in ANY way address all the niggling pre-existing issues about the poor drainage (and REAL liklihood of just ME getting flooded) out there, and how all the gutters pour down into mine, how the drain keeps blocking, how next doors extension join to the roof slope/leadwork needs modifying, etc, etc, etc (the list IS endless!). EVERY time I go out back, it ALL comes to mind to torture me - plotting and planning and working it all out - and EVERY time, I am confounded by not having transport to shift tons of sand and cement and materials, etc, etc (IF I was even capable of daring to give it a go myself!). So - what's the problem - pay a modest sum and have it all delivered by the builders yard? No can do. The builders lorry won't fit down the back lane! Yes - I 'could' have multiple ton bags and equipment and materials delivered and hoisted up onto the FRONT garden, but I really don't think I'm any longer physically capable of spending days (weeks?) then trying to carry it all through the house bit by bit, etc. I COULD go on - at length - about everything that needs doing that I can't - but I just can't be bothered to do the typing. I'm NOT a 'complete' no-hope idiot - there ARE some VERY real obstacles - to EVERYTHING I 'should' be doing - aside from now being TOTALLY unable to consider the prospect of actually paying a 'tradesman' to do ANYTHING, given how EVERYTHING always turns pear shaped whenever I have to rely on others for ANYTHING. (The ONGOING windows thing is the most painful example. Cost me a small fortune - 'ruined' the house, until such time as they are all replaced again! God - HOW I'd love to have some central-heating put in for the increasingly difficult to cope with winters - but how can I spend thousands on having the WHOLE house torn apart (floors/walls, attic, EVERYWHERE!), only to end up with a similar disaster with all that?) . I just can't move. Everything leads to nothing - and ultimately, all for what anyway?. . down, down, down! . . I DID feel obliged to briefly let Mum know the hoodie she'd paid for had arrived - but I wasn't 'happy' with it. . . forced down a defrosted meat and pastry pie, half a tin of baked beans and some grated cheese, microwaved with a bag of crisps . . Mum called back and started going on about how she couldn't see why I was having a problem with the hoodie simply over the zip, and started going on yet again about how Sis2 had said they were ll like that in the states, etc, etc, etc. I was rude on the phone. I just couldn't see what the point in her conversation was. It just seemed like an overwhelming pointless waste of words. I couldn't for the life of me make out what she was attempting to acheive with the conversation? Was I suddenly going to be 'persuaded', and 'see the light', and instantly NOT have a problem with a zip that does up different to every other one I've ever owned in my fifty plus years? I WAS sadly rude - I DID get her off the phone as quickly as I possibly could. . . . returned to bed and thankfully eventually slept the rest of the afternoon off until, around 7pm sadly waking again. I would gladly not have reawakened. . PCd monitored radios/the local club net for a bit, before having a brief local chat - during which I DID even actually ask about peoples zips, and was I the only person in the world to have a problem with them these days, like I have! BOTH of the people (male) I was speaking with confirmed that ALL their clothes with zips do up in the 'normal', 'right handed' way - so make of that what you will. . off the radio to find Bella had been downstairs gnawing herself raw again - so, we're back on THAT bandwagon. Frankly right now, I feel overwhelmed with all, and FULL of crippling despair. I'm losing it a bit right now! Really losing it. . . TVd nothing the evening/night off . . ate bananas and grated cheese sandwiches . . to bed around 4am, with daylight already appearing in the sky.
4 - Woke earlier snoozed on then up around 8:10am. 19C in, 13C out, sunny with plenty more breeze than yesterday Image of a found solar lamp atop a charity-shop bought, ornate brass candlestick. . . walked FGn. Another cracking day, despite the breeze taking the edge of things a bit. . back via the store for milk and sugar supplies . . . recovered from the walk in the garden under the pergola with a coffee, etc listening on the radio as coastguard response teams and the all weather lifeboat searched the coast from Berry Head right round past Goodrington looking for another missing person . . . played around for a bit knocking up a wooden 'plug' to fit in the top of the gothic ornate brass candlestick I have on the centre of my living-room bay-window cill (the one I 'repaired' with solder and can't bring myself to get rid of). With the small wooden plug fashioned to just sit in the top like the bottom of a candle, it was then possible for me to screw to the top of it, the solar light top I found in the hedge up the road. When I came home last night, thanks to a slight glow from that solar light just dumped on and cluttering up the bay window cill behind the TV (still awaiting a decision about where to try to make use of it), it was kinda pleasing to see a small indication of a light on, in the otherwise in-darkness house. It suddenly occurred to me it wouldn't look 'too' bad atop that candlestick if I could fix it on in some way. So - there we go. Doesn't look 'too' weird I don't think - and it 'pleases' me to have found a home for 'found' stuff like that. lolol . . . PCd this . No reply from that guy about the Derek Brimstone music, so that was clearly just wasting my time again (unless my reply to him went straight into his junk-mail filter, as DOES seem in my experience to be irritatingly occasionaly the case, particularly when you attach stuff and reply to someone you've never mailed before). Oh well - just as well - it would appear I'm NOT in the mood to be in contact with ANYONE about ANYTHING at the moment anyway. . A mail from Amazon has confirmed an XL size black hoodie has now been despatched to me!! . . . sat around, aimless and down - and a bit toothachey . . . walked BGdns and sat around some more feeling short tempered and down. A very different evening 'in me' to yesterday! :o(. . . cooked and ate chips, half a tin of baked beans and a meat pastry pie followed by a little chocolate . . TVd until to bed at 12:30am.
3 - Up around 8:30am. 19C in, 16C out, sunny. . . walked FGn and then down town for a bit of a tour of charity shops before stocking up on dog food again. Bought 24 x 400g tins of Co-Op's own cheap brand for 12.76. Struggled home with it in a rucksack on my back. . . recovered with a coffee in the garden before then mowing both lawns. Used the hedge trimmer in the front garden to cut back next doors hedge where its all starting to grow through my fence again. Grrr. :o( . Weeded alongside the path and tidied up just a little out front, but too hot for such work in the full cloudless sun, and I soon had to give up . . ate two ham rolls, crisps and a little chocolate . . napped . . walked FGn - in layers. It was hot to start with whenever we entered the low sunlight, but I was right to wear all those layers (despite how weird it may have looked). As soon as we got in any shade (like up on FGn), it really felt pretty chilly - and plenty of people dressed lightly in T shirts etc were having a hard time of it and complaining about how cold they were. A very pleasant evening. Sat in the cold shade on FGn for quite a while before deciding to carry on down around the harbour, along past the marina and then out along to the end of the still bathed in sun breakwater to watch the sunset. . walked the half mile along to the very end of the breakwater before retreating a short distance away from the small group of fishermen (who had an irritating radio on, blaring out music!) to sit quietly with Bella for a cigarette while watching the scenery and sunset. The last rays of the visible sun, as it set behind the hills above Paignton, were at aroundabout 9:05pm. Felt 'ok' and lucky to be here. Even Bella is starting to show signs of calming down (just a little!) and although she still has terrible trouble with it, IS doing her very best at walking along 'at heal' much of the time now. Most of this evenings walk was actually done without her being on her lead at all (just calling her 'CLOSE' when needs be). She WAS, VERY good. Dare I say - even 'hints' of the comparatively effortless understanding and control I ultimately had with Sally. . Feeling all 'ok' about things (OHHhh HOW rare!), on the way back, I figured I'd 'force myself' to sit at one of the outside tables of the Prince William pub and have myself a half pint of lager - like 'real people' do. It suited me down to the ground that the place was very quiet without many others around at all (only one other outside table occupied). Tied Bella to a table, went in and bought my half of lager (not 'that' much change from 2?!) and then sat at the table under the red sunsetting sky, looking out through the harbour and across the millpond like bay, supping my drink and having occasional smokes. (Gave Bella a drink from my cupped hand (I'd forgotten to bring a freezer bag to make a 'bowl' out of), of most of the small bottle of water I was carrying with me.) Bella was SO well behaved, and there were so few people around, I even let her off her lead and threw her ball a bit while I was sitting there! Because it was so deserted, instead of just leaving it on the table, I eventually returned my empty glass inside to the bar. Before I did so, I instructed Bella to 'WAIT' by the table - and dared to not even tie her to it! She dutifully just stayed there and awaited my return. :o) . . eventually walked all the way back and through town. Still toying with acting like a 'real person' for once, I dabbled with the idea of going the whole hog, and even paused outside a kebab shop along the way. When I saw the prices of everything, I had second thoughts and just carried on and headed straight home. By the time we got home in the increasing dark, the temperature had dropped to around a mere 9C under the clear sky. . .TVd . . cooked up four quarter pound burgers and ate them in buttered bread rolls, followed later by biscuits and chocolate . . TVd until to bed around 2:30am.
2 - Up around 7:30am. 19C in, 14C out, sunny, less wind. . . walked FGn. A proper nice summery morning. A young woman was laying on one of the seats next to where we always sit, seemingly semi-conscious!! I DID feel obliged to walk up and 'disturb' her and check that she was ok. She hardly spoke (coherently) but seemed to indicate she was ok laying there. Sleeping off the night before it looked like. Risky!! . just sat there in the sun for AGES. A really beautiful and warm morning. I probably sat there for longer than I otherwise would, because I WAS concerned for the safety of the young woman asleep on the nearby bench! SOoooo risky! She remained there when I eventually left. . . . recovered from all that sitting, by sitting some more in the garden. Guitarred briefly . . PCd a bit of this . . sat around aimlessly/TVd . . ate a small tin of salmon in two buttered baps, crisps, an iced bun and biscuits . . .napped until around 7:30pm . . . TVd/PCd/listened to radios. . ate a banana and another iced bun . . to bed around 3am.
1 - Up around 8:15am. 20C in, 16C out, sunny. . . walked FGn. Very misleading weather. Looked really nice in the sun, but the wind on the green was biting cold and gusting up to almost 30mph, and occasionaly really uncomfortably cold when cloud obscured the sun! Lost Bella's tennis ball to someone elses dog for goodness sake! Bella didn't see where I threw it, the other dog grabbed it and that was that. It WOULD not give it back, and continually ran off with its prize when you attempted to approach it. Grrrr. Don't understand people who don't seem to bother to do the most basic bit of training with their dogs. . On the plus side, Bella's stomach appears to be finally back to normal . . .PCd this whilst monitoring radios until Mum arrived with the paper and food donations for chats etc. . actually decided Bella WAS reliably back to normal and finally took the old sheet up off the diner floor. . PCd a bit and looked up for Mum the name of the infection in her leg which her test results had returned. 'Staphaureus'. Turned out as far as I could tell, that was pretty much the same sort of thing which had allegedly caused my leaky head infection thingy. I know it's supposed to be a pretty common infection which everyone has on their skin and all that, but it DOES seem somewhat strange that we have BOTH developed problems from it of late!? And in my case certainly, it appears to be resistant to normal antibiotic treatment! . Whilst on the PC, I showed Mum the plain black, faux-fur lined (!) zip-up hoodie on Amazon I was thinking of buying, to replace the two I've been living in and have pretty much worn out and turned to rags. I've failed to find ANYWHERE that does a straight replacement for what I have, but this one was close (despite the 'faux fur'!?). Turned out the supplier allegedly only had two black ones left (in a size large), and since it'd taken me hours of searching to find one I thought would 'do' me, I figured I'd best just go ahead and order one right away (after quickly checking what size my old ones were). Ordered a 'ENVY BOUTIQUE MENS ZIP FAUX FUR HOODIE HOODED PLAIN HOOD SWEATSHIRT JACKET TOP BLACK SIZE L' for 19.99 inc postage. With one click ordering, that seemed simple and straightforward enough. Only later when I received the order confirmation, does it appear that ALREADY things have gone awry (as everything always does for me!) The order confirmation stated I'd ordered an XL size rather than a L - and the cost would be 19.19!?? Since their order page was explicit in indicating they had no XL size in stock in that colour (it actually wouldn't LET you order anything that allegedly wasn't in stock), it DEFINITELY was NOT a mistake on my part! To be honest, given the relatively small difference in measurements, I care not which size I get, as long as its bigger than I am, and most cruicially, BLACK. I am NOT gonna get bogged down in trying to communicate with them trying to get to the bottom of it. That'd probably end up in being an even bigger mess, or me getting nothing at all. What the hell I'm ACTUALLY gonna end up with now is anyones guess! FFS!! Why EVER thus for me?! :o( . . As Mum was leaving, she said she'd 'hidden' some cash in the drawer under my living room chair, to pay for the hoodie and my recent slippers purchase! She'd 'hidden' it to avoid the usual argument of me trying to refuse to accept it! . found 25 in the drawer after she'd gone. :o) . . . ate corned beef and mayo sandwiches and crisps . . napped poorly briefly until around 6:15pm . . walked Bgdns with a coffee . . . PCd. Earlier in the day, I'd unexpectedly received an e-mail from someone searching for an old recording of folk singer Derek Brimstone - "Derek Brimstone Live". They'd bumped into a listing of it in my music collection on my outdated website, and had thence somehow found my e-mail address! They were asking to either buy it or pay for a copy!! That seems pretty 'eager'!? I've long since got rid of the old cassette hard copy, but of course DO still have the converted MP3s I made of all those old cassettes before I got rid of them all. Theoretically, and it WAS my knee-jerk reaction, I could very easily just mail the guy copies - BUT of course that would be pretty iffy in terms of copyright and all that jazz. Ended up listening to that old recording for the first time in a decade or more, as I poked around on the net for a bit, trying to see if Derek Brimstone was still around, and if it was possible for anyone to just buy the recording like normal rather than have ME start breaking the law for them. I probably should have just ignored it, but I ultimately ended up replying to the guy "Wow - I haven't listened to that for YEARS!!!! (Listening to it as I type this. lol What a blast from a long distant past! Iron Acton Folk club, Bristol was it where I saw him and bought his tape? Somewhere like that.) Is he even still alive?! I 'disposed' of ALL my cassette tapes several years ago, so I no longer have the 'hard copy' . I DID however 'convert' all the tapes to relatively low quality MP3s before I did so - hence being able to listen to it as I type this. As a result of your e-mail, I DID just have a quick surf in an attempt to see if Derek is still around etc. I Immediately ended up at:- http://homepage.ntlworld.com/d.brimstone1/music_page.htm Although potentially out of date, this webpage suggests it is still possible to purchase 'Derek Brimstone Live' directly from Derek himself if you e-mail him!? Given this, I feel 'uncomfortable' about offering to let you have copies of my MP3 files, obviously because of copyright and all that - but mostly because it could well be taking money directly out of Dereks pocket!!!! Having said that, if you wish to reply to me further, with a little more detail about why you can't simply go purchase it in a 'normal' way somewhere, etc, I 'may' be persuaded to e-mail (IF technically possible given file sizes etc) the MP3 files to you free of charge. As a test and example of my MP3s (low) quality etc, I intend to attempt to attach 'Track 1 - Harry' to this e-mail. It is the largest of the tracks turning out around 6.58MB. I hope you understand my position and hesitation in assisting you in your search. I look forward to your reply.". . .TVd . . ate two bananas, a pork pie, sausage roll, crisps and a lump of cheese . . to bed around 2am.