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1 - Up pretty early. M/D called to confirm Sis2 had signed the paperwork, made the deposit they had loaned her and was buying a house!!! YAY! As forecast the weather was pretty good so headed out to Sis1s on the bike with panniers full of tools. Spent a hot few hours in the sun mixing cement and finishing off the tops of the brick pillars that her builders had just left all ragged. All the pillars seemed to finish at different levels!! Thought builders were supposed to be able to do such things properly? Made the best of a bad job on several pillars and then got sidetracked cutting back the Leylandii trees with her electric chainsaw. Never used one of those before. Scary teetering on the top of a step ladder with Sis1 underneath and me leaning out with the chainsaw at arms length cutting off the tops of the trees!! Even at one point standing high up on the cut trunk and branches of one tree to reach and cut the next!! Eventualy trimmed back several of the trees to an acceptable height and then finished off the last two pillar tops with more cement just as the weather changed and it began to threaten rain!!! Typical. . . M/D called to announce they were going to visit Sis2!! Called again later to confirm it was all booked up and paid for. Wow - all change real quick! Good news from Sis2 at long long last I guess . . . Funny how it is 'accepted' that Sis1 man is not in any way DIY inclined/skilled and he spent the day inside watching cricket and football on TV?! England 5 Germany 1 - can't stand football but that certainly was an unusual score! Can't help prefering it when the score is the other way around as it usually is! Guess I'm just not very 'nationalistic'. Seems easier to identify with a larger group if I must identify with one at all? . . . returned home after taking some measurements of parts of Sis1 wrought iron garden gate that is falling off the wall, cleaned up, touched base with M/D and PS who said he'd pop in tomorrow, went for sausage and chips from the chip shop, TVd/PCd.(4/10)p
2 - Spent the morning on the patio with the angle grinder and the welder making up a couple of made to measure different sized 'T' pieces to act as gate hinges for Sis1 gate. Funny how the metal I used was what I had used (ten years before?) to make up some arms on a swivel computer type chair. I'd given the chair to DS when I got a better one, he had taken the arms off and dumped them in his garden and LB had inherited them when they split up. When I did her garden I reclaimed them. Thought that metal would come in usefull. All went rather well and I loaded up tools in panniers and headed to Sis1 to fit them. Sis1 wanted to retain the huge great vine that was growing up the side of her house so I had to remount the gate somewhat higher than before. I think a thin person could now get underneath - but I guess they could always climb over easier so ? Some trouble drilling the mounting holes in the wall. Melted a couple of cheap masonary drill bits and my new drill seems to be on it's way out already!!!!! Grrrrr. Eventually got it all sorted and the gate back on the wall. Worked out nicely . . . stopped off as it began to drizzle and picked up PS camera and dropped it in to his wife with thanks for the loan. Arrived back home to find someone parked in front of my gate so couldn't put the bike away! Grrrrrr. Popped a "Please dont park in front of my gate. Motorcycle access. Thank you" sign on the windscreen. Eventually the owner returned and was a visitor of the nasty noisy neighbours opposite. Figures. Like attrcats like I guess. Went out to move the bike in and the nasty noisy neighbour was out in his front garden and started giving me a lecture about how it wasn't nice for his visitors to find such notes in their car and how I shouldn't touch other peoples property and how I should pay 300 to have the kerb lowered if I wanted people not to park there like he'd done etc etc etc. Ludicrous 'arguments' - he seemed to think that because he had put in a drive way and had the kerb lowered for his cars he had a right of ownership to that part of the highway. I think not! Strange how simply politely asking someone not to block my gate is such a contentious issue for him. Nasty man. Managed to keep the conversation reasonably calm - could SO easily have turned into something real nasty with a pratt like that. Dwelt on the conversation and replayed it and missed alternatives in my mind over and over and over!!!! Grrrrrrrr . . .TVd and watched the Blues Brothers 2000 film. Not as good as the original of course but some good music and some laughter in parts. PS didn't turn up as expected? . . . PCd briefly before bed. (4/10)ps
3 - Up earlyish. Spent the morning welding and grinding on the patio and making up a new stop for Sis1 gate. Went rather well. Loaded up the tools in my panniers and rode over to her house to find her out. Let myself in and started drilling holes and fitting the peice I had made. Sis1 turned up with little O and a car load of stuff!! Yet more 'retail therapy'!!!! Should have watched the TV program last night about the psychology of compulsive shopping! She had also bought ME lots of plants and pots and things as a thank you for doing the work!!! Where on earth will I put them? Oh dear - wish she hadn't! Eventually cemented the new peice in place and then covered everything in smooth black hammerite paint to keep the rust at bay. Rare for me to say so - but it worked out REALLY well I think. Rather proud of having fabricated stuff and improved it all. Nice one. Eventually headed back home for a shower and food after squeezing the bike in past the van that was parked across my gate!!! Grrrrr - put a note on it asking them not to park there. Sis1 popped in right in the middle of me making chips and dropped off all the stuff she had for me. . . ate loads! Just about to fall asleep when PS phoned explaining his horrific nightmare yesterday when his car broke down and he had to sit by the side of the M25 for four hours waiting to be 'recovered'!!! . . . PS popped round for chats. LB suddenly turned up drunk, bearing a HUGE plate of food. Left overs from a roast dinner again. Enough food for a couple of days!! Excellent. She left and then shortly phoned asking to return because her sister had a boyfriend in the house and she didn't want to have to sit there listening to them 'have fun'. From experience I know how unpleasant that can be when you share your house with others so I said ok despite not really wanting her company! She eventually fell asleep snoring on the setee! EXTREMELY tired and SO hard staying awake myself. PS left after midnight. Woke LB up and thankfully without too much trouble persuaded her to stumble home! . . . PCd briefly before bed. (4/10)pas
4 - Sat about not really getting into the day at all. Did absolutely nothing all day . . . fell asleep around four o'clock for four hours!! . . . woke and watered plants and then watched TV. Chilly outside - winter is on its way. Months of short cold days and dark nights - not looking forward to that at all. Ate half of the meal LB had donated. Huge amounts of food - and not half bad!! . . . Feel a bit weird. Kinda down I guess. Seem to be increasingly inclined to not be in contact with anyone at all. How different from how I was several months ago spending hours and hours chatting to everyone on the PC and spending more hours e-mailing other people. Don't want to (can't) do it any more. Hope people understand and dont think too badly of me . . . TVd and a comment on a program seemed worthy of note to me particularly in respect of being strung along about the 'imaginary' MOD job - "A promise is a comfort to fools." . . . the 'missing link' of the ring road over Siston Common was finally opened at last today - will have to try that out sometime . . . forced myself to update my journal for the first time in days. . . BB called to chat. . . up till early watching a bit of a repeat of the Grand Prix I missed on Sunday. Just watched up to the big crash then went to sleep. (3/10)p
5 - Up early. Out of the house around 9am and rode to Sis1 via the new ring road. Only took 15 minutes door to door. Not bad. Added a coarse of bricks to two of the pillars to bring them up to the height of the rest and then capped them with cement 'roundings'. Smashed a ceramic pot I was using to hold some water! Ooops. Got talking to the neighbour Sis1 has had trouble with. She pointed out how the pillars had been left by the builders looking awful on her side. She was right. I couldn't have lived with them like that. Offered to have a go at tidying them up. Despite the problems Sis1 has had with her she seemed particularly freindly (although I DID do my best 'Mr Helpful Nice Guy Keep Everyone Happy' act) and chatted for ages, let me pet her dog and even offered me a coffee which I declined. Seemed fine with me. Spent ages precariously on a ladder tidying up the grouting on her side. Carrying a bucket of cement I stumbled on her steep drive and trying to save the cement fell over!!! Dont think anyone saw but god I felt stupid!! Must be getting old!!!!!! Saved the cement but paid for it by losing the skin off my knee and soaking my trouser leg in blood. Eventually all done and the neighbour thanked me and said it looked better - only just I think! Started looking at other things to do and had a look at the step my sister said the builders had damaged. Not the builders fault at all - the whole thing seemed to be held together with sand!!!!!!!! Took it all apart by hand and then cemented in a line of bricks and poured in a small amount of concrete to try and underpin what was there and to give a sound base for further stone laying when dry. Ran out of cement and called it a day and rode back home. Went onto reserve nearly home. Guess that is the end of the 'free' petrol. If I believed in 'hocus pocus' I guess I would imagine that I'd got the free petrol so I could ride to my sisters and do the work at no cost to me. Good job I don't see things that way - I'd have to be crazy! lol . . . touched base with M/D and called Sis1 and advised her to get more cement and stuff. . . showered and ate the rest of LBs donated food. Fell asleep for a few hours and then woken by Sis1 saying she'd bought more cement for whenever I wanted to finish laying the repaired step. Oh goody!! . . . TVd but very very tired. Don't seem to have woken up properly from my nap. PCd but ISP problems so gave up real quick. 'Early' to bed. (4/10)p
6 - Up early and on the bike, gased up and at Sis1 before nine o'clock! Moved the sand and cement Sis1 had left in her porch only to find she had put an open bag of sand down with the open end down!! Dumped half the bag of sand all over her porch!! Grrr - wasted time clearing it all up. Took stock of where I was heading with her garden step and took it upon myself to double the width of it for safety and aesthetics. Mixed lots of concrete and cemented in an extended base deliberatley leaving a gap around it since I guarantee Sis1 will want to plant stuff all around it. Difficult working for someone else with a 'do what you think is best' type standing order. What I think is best and what the rest of the world think is best always seem to be at odds! Spent hours laying stones on the dry half of the step in the 'rustic' way Sis1 likes. Never done that sort of thing before and it didn't go too well. Not used to having to worry about how such stuff looks since everything I do at home is usually covered in white paint afterwards. Took the risk of washing excess cement off with the hosepipe despite the danger of weakening everything. Moved her loose paving stone path to suit. Reached a point where there was nothing more to be done until the cement set. Didn't look 'too' bad I dont think. Rode home (uh oh - bike is making unpleasant noises!!) and making full use of being in dirty clothes robbed a little soil out of the lane and potted the lavendar and hebe Sis1 had bought for me. Couldn't resist and popped a few bits of rubble in the bin. Hadn't been home more than fifteen minutes and Sis1 called to say thanks, no objection to the extended step and it looked fine. Phew! Asked her to set aside more stones for me to use to finish the job and persuaded her to go buy a length of wood so that I could start thinking about altering her deck roof supports as and when it suited me . . . cleaned up and washed all my filthy work clothes . . . resisted sleep and finally got round to taking the bike and getting my prozac prescription sorted. Couldn't resist stopping at Miss Millies and treated myself to a chicken and chips 'Mega Meal'. Ate loads and then ended up eating about four bowls of co- co pops with loads of milk too! That did it - fell asleep for a couple of hours nap - managed to turn the alarm off in my sleep again!!!!!(5/10)ps
7 - Woke up at 01:30am!!!!!!! Very cool clear night - neighbours must think I'm crazy bringing in my washing from the line at two in the morning! Tried making a couple of phone calls but no one about or couldn't get a connection! Couldn't get back to sleep and saw 5:30am on the clock - then woken up at 6:30am by neighbours noisily loading stuff into their car. Grabbed a few bricks from the lane and put them in carrier bags and hid them in various neighbours bins. Out on the bike and at Sis1s by around 8am. Finished off the new step and then started on the deck roof support modification. Lots of hassle. Seems like every stone in her garden is loose and needs re-cementing!!! Gave up mid afternoon with half her deck dismantled and left cement to set before I can do anything else. . . Bins all emptied ok. Touched base with M/D and tried to talk over how to make Sis1 deck bannister end 'secure' in its proposed new configuration. Tough one to work out - made tougher by Dad increasingly unusualy short tempered!!! Very noticeable!!? Fell asleep for a while but woken by a neighbours kid making lots of banging screaming noises! . . . TVd/PCd. Think my arms are slightly more 'muscular' than they have been in recent years - but acheing ALL over all the time!!!! Early to bed.(4/10)p
8 - 'Another hard day at the office' - rode over Sis1 in the rain. Rain stopped so proceeded with the new deck roof post swapping project. Drilled out and friction fit a short section of re-bar I found behind her shed into the bottom of the post. Made up some metal straps for the other end complete with countersunk screw holes from a peice of old bar I had in my garden. Cemented the re-bar and bottom of the post into the rebate I'd cut in the concrete step in the new position NOT in front of the kitchen window and screwed the metal straps to the beams on top. All went nicely. Gingerley removed the old post that was in the way of the window! Nothing collapsed so I guess it's ok. Had to cut up a shim for the bannister!! The old short post I removed must have been in wonky!! Glued and screwed and finished off that bit of the project. Cleared up and coated the new bits in the wood stain I found in the shed to match the rest of the deck. Really looks ok. Very pleased. Not sure it is worth bothering with all the technically difficult work necessary to put the short bit of bannister rail and short end post down the steps like it was before- although at least I can now see how it can be done ok I think. Decided to leave it till Sis1 has returned from work and has seen it and decided whether or not she wants it done. Sat around in the sun for a while drinking Sis1 supplied orange squash - fed a couple of apples from her tree to the horses at the bottom of her garden and feeling pretty satisfied . . . Rode home to find two ansaphone messages from M/D. Message #1 - they were in a car boot sale and someone was selling a leather biker jacket for 4 - should they take a chance on the size and style and get it for me? YES!!!!!!!!!!! Only 4? YESSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!! Message #2 - they had decided not to buy it!!!! DAMN!!!!!! Phoned them back on their mobile and said for that price they should have taken a chance - but oh well never mind. Put the phone down and Sis2 called. Terrible line so I called her straight back - and ended up paying for a long LONG call!!!!!! !!!! She sounds kinda ok about how thigs are working out wih her permit, the job, the house and all but her health scare is causing her to reconsider some things I think. She is not entirely sure what her problem is yet - but I WILL have to research 'lupus'!!! She seems happier actually having confirmation 'something' IS wrong - and would be even happier to finally have a label for it! I know all about how having a label CAN make things 'better'!!!! . . . M/D called to say they had returned to the car boot sale and had managed to buy the leather jacket! YAYYYYYY. :o) Hope it'll fit AND the style will fit my 'badass biker/stay away from me' image - even though I am all soft and fluffy really! lol . . . cleaned up/washed work clothes . . . went for a kebab AND chips! TVd but overcome with tiredness. Went for a couple of hours nap early evening with the alarm on for 8:20pm to catch a film on TV. Turned the alarm off in my sleep AGAIN despite being on the other side of the room and woke at 11:30pm!!!!! PCd briefly and then TVd till early. Caught the end of the film "Ruby In Paradise" - made me think of BB although not sure why. Tried to call MANY times but the phone system was having none of it. Do I pay to hear that recorded system message "Your call could not be connected. Please try again. One- Zero - T"? Must have cost me a fortune!!!!! Eventually to bed around 3am. (5/10)pa
9 - Up around 7am with that old song "5705 - but there's no reply . . " going round my half awake head. Funny how the mind works. Spent an hour coaxing the useless digital interactive TV service to work and looking at VW campervans for sale. There ARE some 'cheap' ones around. Dream, dream, dream. Unless the MOD get their act together - October is gonna be a significant decision time/acceptance of myself/deadline for me. Must make it so. Life 'begins' at forty?!! . . . surfed for a while checking out 'lupus' and 'sjogrens syndrome' and associated stuff. Sis2 needs the appropriate label!!! . . . lay on the sunbed snoozing on the patio for a while but too chilly despite the sun . . . wasted the whole day comatose in front of the TV. Ate loads of junk food and felt a bit queasy. Tried calling BB again to touch base and got through first try?! . . . in bed before 11pm. (5/10)ps
10 - Up before 7am. Cold morning but the promise of sunshine. Feels very autumn like! Tidied up a little. Called CW to touch base. Called the college, gave them my credit card number, paid the 42 and signed up for the course 'Blues Guitar - Beginners' at Hanham High School for ten weeks from October. Doesn't seem fair that despite living on next to nothing as I do, because I do NOT claim ANY benefits I do NOT qualify for any concessions and have to pay the full price! Grrrr! I sure feel 'disabled'! Now - how the hell do I get my guitar down to Hanham each week? May have to buy a case or something?!!! . . . got the bike out and took SHs metal detector and walked about a bit in the open spaces down by the river at Conham, Hanham. Contacts everywhere but just lots of junk and rusty wire. Spent about an hour digging a huge hole but whatever that big piece of metal was down there it was far too big to dig out with a small hand trowel. Bet it was an old car!!! lol More or less gave up and sauntered back to the bike along the river path. Some deviation to scout about under some trees and discovered what appeared to be the remains of someones handbag?!! Spooky - but didn't find any bones!! Looked as though it had been there for years. Lots of combs and makeup stuff, a driving licence holder that looked as though the licence had decayed away to dust inside, a key, a small card indicating someone was a slimming club member first weighed in 1983 and a Debenhams store card bearing the name of Mrs S. E. Dean. Rode home with the artefacts and decided to try and contact whoever it may have belonged to, imagining it was stolen maybe back around 1983. Debenhams were predictably useless and the phone book had so many 'Deans' in Bristol it seemed hopeless. I'm no Mike Hammer! Dropped all the stuff into the local police station - just in case it was a lead for something more serious than a bag snatch. Policewoman on the desk obviously thought I was a murderer from her attitude, wandering around in the woods as I was!! Bet they don't even bother checking - or if they do I will be chief suspect!!! Well - a schizoid 'loner', a recluse, paranoia, difficulty with relationships, etc , etc - I sure do have the psychological profile for being a mass murderer - and never any alibi for my whereabouts!!!! . . . finally got a call from Sis1 who DOES want the bannister rail put back in place under her deck roof. Damn - more work - but not for a couple of days!! . . . shopped . . . napped for a couple of hours . . . PS popped round for chats till early. (5/10)ps
11 - God bless America. (-/10)ps
12 - Watched the TV news ALL day. Horror. (-/10)p
13 - Somehow didn't get to sleep last night at all!!!!!? Eventually fell asleep around 1:30 in the afternoon for a few hours until woken by PS calling on the phone around 5:30pm . . . Watched the news. . . Early to bed before 10pm feeling rough. (3/10)p
14 - Up around 8am after a full nights sleep. A break in the stormy weather - a beautiful sunny but cold morning. Coffee and cigarettes in the garden - feeling 'lucky' and content with my lot. Must make the most of the gap in the weather and head over Sis1 to start on the bannister. Loaded up panniers with tools and rode over to Sis1 but felt very strange on the ride over - mind dwelling on the recent horrors. Stopped work at 11am and sat quietly for a while with a cigarette, lost in the sadness. All eventually worked out okish and had the bannister in position and done by around 4:30pm . . . touched base with BB. Caught up on the days TV news. PS popped round for chats till early and to stop overnight. Sleep around 3am. (5/10)ps
15 - Up after only about five hours sleep. Let PS sleep on till he woke. . . sat around . . . TVd . . . PCd till early. (5/10)p
16 - Fresh sunny morning. Re potted the Yucca donated by M/D. BW turned up for a chat. 'Whenever he is in town he always pops in to see the patient.'!!!!!! He's put on even more weight but the same old guy. PS popped in to pick up his sleeping bag and chat. . . TVd/Napped for a couple of hours/PCd till real early unable to sleep. Finally did fall asleep for a while but woke up real cold! Didn't eat enough - and will have to put my winter duvet back on the bed! (5/10)ps
17 - Balanced my accounts, did paperwork and finally got round to filling out the Income Tax refund form I've been sat on for months. Think I should be due something? I'm doing 'ok'. . . shopped for food. . . IHB called announcing he was having a celebration of his 40th birthday at a city pub and suggested I too should turn up with people to celebrate mine since "you are only forty once". Seemed like a silly excuse since to me, one is only the age one is all the time. Tried to explain that going to a pub with people would be an unpleasant 'test of endurance' but don't think he really understood. Will I go? NO WAY!!! Never have experienced birthdays as a cause for 'celebration'!? More a cause for reflection and the opposite really!! . . . Treated myself to a bunch of quarter pound burgers in rolls and immediately overcome with the need to sleep at around 6pm so layed down for a short nap. (5/10)pa
18 - Woke from my nap at around 3:30am!!!!!!!!!? . . . TVd watching the news . . . BB called to touch base. I felt guilty chatting during the US three minute silence . . . napped for a couple of hours . . . TVd. Listened to a bit of music (blues of course) but couldn't reproduce any of it on 'my' guitar so soon returned to watching the news on TV! To bed at a 'reasonable' hour. (3/10)ps
19 - Been avoiding trying to think my way through some of the recent feelings caused by the world events but guess I may as well try and put something of it here. To watch all the footage on the news of SO many people dieing before my eyes has affected me more than I can put into words. I visited the World Trade Centre years ago. It was very big and very high. Inconceivable that it could be gone. Inconceivable that anyone could have survived such a collapse. Inconceivable that anyone could seek to cause such untold horror and misery. Impossible not to unwillingly replay those images over and over in my mind and dwell in depth on the reality of the personal experiences of ALL those involved. What must that have felt like? What must THAT have felt like? What horror! I have not been 'directly' affected - no one I know has been lost - and yet I experience a sense of 'survivor guilt'. If it were possible to swap places with any number of those that are lost it would be right for me to do so. If I dare to smile or laugh or feel 'happy' I am drawn back to those images and that guilt. How dare I dwell on my own 'unhappiness' - how dare I complain about this or that. How lucky I AM! My despairing view of life so darkened by my depressive episodes has seemingly been confirmed as justified by these events. I DO consider myself to be essentially a pacifist and yet there ARE those 'evil doers' in this world SO insanely convinced of their righteousness that I would see them quickly despatched for the common good. And yet what price will innocents pay for this? . . What next? I am deeply fearful. These poor words do no justice to the depth of feelings in me.
. . . TVd/PCd . . .touched base with BB . . . TVd . . . had a nasty funny turn!!!! Leapt up from sitting relaxing to go to the bathroom and came over all faint!! SLOW 'heavy' heartbeat, dizzy, hot and cold sweat, feeling nauseas - scary! Small bathroom - not enough room to safely reach the floor without hitting hard stuff! Didn't last long but - well - sure made me stop and think a bit! Thought I was on my way!!! Getting old I guess. lololol (4/10)
20 - PCd . . . TVd . . . napped for a couple of hours. PS phoned and woke me up. . . briefly popped out into the lane and grabbed some rubble and added it to my bin . . . PS popped round for chats till early . . . didn't get to sleep till the early hours. (4/10)pas
21 - Woken too early by the bin men noise after only about four hours or less sleep. Nasty noisy neighbour for the second week in a row had the bin men turn around, reverse, and park their lorry outside his house and then all make trips into his back garden to clear the rubbish from him having cut down a hedge!!!!!? Extraordinary!! Did he bribe them or does he REALLY actually own the world like he thinks?. . .Sis1 popped in to pick up the heathers she had given me that I can find no room in my tiny yard to plant . . . nice warm summery day despite tomorrow being the first offical day of autumn. Walked up Kingswood through the churchyard and gave blood. Things seem to have changed - needle found my veign with no pain at all, and it was no longer necessary to have to lie around for ages afterwards 'recovering'. Much better. Walked back through 'gods garden' and was treated to the priveledge of seeing a grey squirrel digging up hidden food in the sun amongst the graves and trees no more than six feet away from me. Beautifull . . . shopped. Toured the charity shops on the way back and couldn't resist buying "Write Your Own Will" by Keith Best for only 25p. High time I did one - had the paperwork in a drawer for years! . . . sat in the garden and read for a while but overcome with tiredness and went in to sleep for a while - with the alarm set to make sure I didn't sleep for too long. Woke before the alarm about three hours later but STILL feeling tired of course! . . . TVd/PCd. Bumped into TS on line who seemed rather down and had been drinking!! (4/10)p
22 - Woke after a decent amount of sleep, breakfasted and fell asleep for several more hours! . . . PCd and convinced myself I may have some sort of lurking infection!! Guess I'll have to summon the courage to mention that to the doctor next time I have to see him to replenish my prozac supply - for which I am beginning to wonder if I may be developing a tolerance! Can't seem to muster the energy or desire to do a damn thing other than want to be asleep! . . . touched base with TS but she seemed ok. Guess it was 'drunk and down' rather than the other way around . . .PCd/TVd till early. (3/10)ps
23 - Sat around, PCd/TVd/slept most of the day. Pretty down I guess. LB called at the door and on the ansaphone but it was easier to stay asleep and 'be out' rather than respond. Eventually called her back but got no reply - which was quite acceptable to me. Feeling VERY schizoid!!!!(3/10)pa
24 - Jeeze! Just like not being on prozac!!!? Sat around until I could fall asleep again - slept through most of the day!! Of course wasn't tired at all at night then so ended up sat around awake, TVing and surfing ALL night!! Strangely felt a little 'better' during the night! (3/10)pa
25 - Finally went to sleep around 10:00am on the spare bed next to the PC!!!! Woken mid afternoon by Sis1 calling and leaving a message on the ansaphone and asking about whether or not I could cut up some slate tiles she had bought with my angle grinder for her fireplace. Rang her back and then got the bike out and went over to have a look at what she wanted. Still don't feel quite right but real good to have a gentle ride on the bike. Had a headache and weird woozy feeling for a few days now. Taking too many 'anadins' for comfort and all to no effect!!? Sis1 made me a meal of fried sausage, onions and potatotes which went down rather well. Extracted a peice of metal she had managed to jam in her chain saw and checked it was all working ok!!! Jeeze she needs to be careful! More or less agreed what was required for the fireplace although I made it clear I may not tackle it for a while. . . TVd/PCd. Ended the day feeling really rather unwell and a little nauseas!! Early to bed. (3/10)pa
26 - Reasonably 'normal' amount of sleep. Woken around 7:30am by post arriving. A cheque from the inland revenue! Yayyyyy - my tax refund. 175.96 - less than I had hoped but very nice nonetheless. Cover my phone bill? ha ha . . . feel somewhat better. Feel much better in fact - gotta feel worse to feel better I guess. It had to be done - got the bike out and . . .
Haven't decided what to write here yet!! One in four apparantly! Think I'll sleep on it! /------
. . . Since I was in town thought I may as well pop into the
RSPCA dogs home on the way back. Closed for lunch until 1pm so sat around in the rain with a cigarette or two for a while reading my leaflets until they opened! Wandered around and spotted a poor little woofer who in his imprisoned crazyness had been tearing up his blanket. Pieces of it all over his kennel and somehow he had got his paw all wrapped up and caught in it. Rushed off and found a 'kennel maid' to sort him out. . . Oh no!!!!!!!!! Could it be true? 'Caesar' the big GSD was STILL there!!!!!!!!!!!! A notice on his cage said he'd been found a home but had recently returned to the pound. Couldn't help asking the kennel maid what the story was. Something along the lines of he had been found stray yet again - and when the new owner 'couple' had been contacted, they were in the process of splitting up and going their seperate ways and so couldn't keep him!! Poor old Caesar!!!!!! So tempting - so, SO tempting. Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear!!! Went into the reception and asked about the possibility of having a 'home visit' even if I was as yet unsure about actually having a dog. No point in making such a huge life altering decision only to find that I am refused as unsuitable after a home visit. Filled out a form and was told they would be in touch!!! Rode home and sat around pondering in depth. Seems just a tiny bit like hocus pocus (that I dont believe in of course!!) that I keep running in to that same old dog! Enormous decision - that I will not take lightly. He does have problems - fine with people but - I guess in the doggy world he is agressively schizoid!!! Perfect partner? lololol . . . touched base with B(S)B :o) . . . IHB popped in unexpectedly for a brief hello and coffee . . . TVd. Crazy people all over the place buying gas masks in case there is a terrorist gas attack!!!! Will they really carry them everywhere with them 24/7? Rediculous. Like M/D said - if that happens who wants to live in such a world . . . went for fish and chips . . . Brief sit in the conservatory watching the garden action. Several frogs out hunting, several anaconda sized slugs, and a 'herd' of in excess of 25 (yes - I 'tried' to count them but they were too quick for me!!) big snails all rampaging around on top the bird table eating the bird food!!!!! Amazing. Wonder what havoc a GSD would make of all that?. . . PCd . . . Early to bed. (5/10)ps
27 - Up around 7:30am . . . used up the last couple of shots in my instant camera and paid the extra to have them developed in an hour. Shopped and bought a card for Dad. Couldn't resist a pair of leather 'Levis' walking boots in a charity shop for only 3! This is getting awkward - I probably have enough shoes to last my lifetime! 'Ismelda Marcos' has competition!!! Picked up the film only to find not a single shot had worked out any good at all. Damn!!! Digital is more forgiving . . . fell asleep for a couple of hours. VERY asleep - woke not knowing where or who I was! Wish I could fully indulge such moments and stop to see what wisdom lies therein - sadly my mind raced to recapture itself . . .popped round the post office . . .tried typing a little but got no where . . . TVd/PCd . . . ended up being awake till early. (4/10)ps
28 - Woken too early by the noise of the bin men after only about four hours sleep!! . . . good weather forecast before a weekend of awful weather so got tools and went on the bike to Sis1 to tackle her fireplace/slate hearth project. Didn't go too well. Angle grinder is not too clever at cutting slate. Fragmented and splintered lots. Made sure what I did was more or less level - only when I was all finished I realised the fireplace bricks weren't and it looked all wonky!! Damn. Oh well - if Sis1 doesn't like it she'll have to call and I'll go on a demolition trip! Left it with cement drying and in need of grouting but I figure Sis1 will enjoy that 'finishing off' bit, assuming it is acceptable. Home by 6pm fighting the desperate need for more sleep. Bike is in desperate need of some work - really funny noises!!! Think it is the exhaust rusted out - bound to fail the MOT due soon on that and the forks. Grrrr . . . cleaned up and went for a kebab . . . PS popped round for chats till early. A struggle staying awake. (4/10)ps
29 - Up late after a reasonable amount of sleep. Called Sis1 who seemed happy enough with what I had done. Thank goodness . . . didn't have the drive to do anything much and just sat around all day! . . . slept for a couple of hours and then woken by Dad calling with details of Sis2 new phone number and address. She has somehow with help managed to more or less move into her new home. Goodo. . . TVd/PCd till early. (4/10)p
30 - Up late but still tired. All the TV channels that had appeared for nothing a while ago have disappeared again. Shame. . .TVd/PCd all day and couldn't be bothered to do anything else at all!! (3/10)pas