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1 - Woken by a lick to the face around 6:45! . . . walked in the rain - Sally got SO muddy I had a go at hosing her down on the patio - not a happy dog! Rang the Brunel Ford service receptionist only to find that he couldn't ask the mechanic about where my receipt may be because he wasn't in until Monday! He assured me he hadn't forgotten and Monday would either get it from the mechanic or contact Exeter Ford himself and get a faxed copy from them! Doesn't that mean he fobbed me off with a lie yesterday? Same old same old - here we go again. Is it any wonder I seek a simple self reliant life without a car! I can't handle such soul destroying BS! . . .slept and TVd the day away. . . went for chips but decided it was time Sally learned she CAN go to the toilet in the yard so did NOT take her over the field. When I have her spayed and if I get ill sometime she'll have to do it so best to get her used to the idea. Despite frequent visits to the yard all evening she did NOT go at all!!!? Eventually gave up and accepted possible consequences and went to bed. (3/10)ps
2 - Up around 5am! Walked bare foot all over the house but no sign of any sally 'stuff'! Back to sleep then up again around 8am. Visited the freezing yard but STILL no sign of Sally doing her business???!!!! How is that possible? She hasn't been at all now for about 24 hours?!!!!! Or has she hidden it around the house somewhere? Guess I'll find it sometime if she has. Ewwww! Amazing dog! . . . eventually gave up after 9am and walked Sally over the field where of course she did her business - LOTS! Held it for 24 hours? Amazing! . . . felt real down - downest I've been for a long time! The car hassle and the PC virus seemed to be the triggers more than the obvious. Slept it off for a couple of hours and woke feeling a 'bit' better . . . TVd . . . touched base with M/D/Sis2 and said goodbyes to Sis2 who starts her return home journey late tonight . . . walked/TVd/PCd despite the risk of who knows what happening!(3/10)ps
3 - Woken by a lick around 7:30am!! Walked . . . called the Brunel Ford place but the Service Receptionist wasn't there so they said he'd call me back. Called the main Ford helpline and logged a 'case' but they weren't any help and advised me to contact Exeter. Called Exeter but the service manager was unavailable so told he'd call me back. The Brunel Ford guy rang back asking for the phone number of the Exeter branch cause he couldn't find it!!!!!!!!!!! Joker! Sis2 touched base to say she was safely at the airport and awaiting her flight. Drove the car to the pet supply place with Sally and bought some chewy things and then a PIR detector in the DIY shop nearby. Blocked the car up at home and swapped the spare tyre for the offside front to see if the wheel/out of shape tyre WAS the problem. It wasn't!!! All roads lead to Exeter? Brunel Ford guy had left an ansaphone message saying a copy of my missing original receipt was in the post to me. Tired of waiting for the return call so rang Exeter and explained everything - said they'd call back (today) with when they can fit me in with a courtesy car. Touched base with M/D warning them I'll need to move into their garage again when the car is being done. . . .big headache. Re scheduled my clinic appointment for a couple of weeks time - need more 'healing' time to see if what has been tried has worked! Slept off my headache and somehow slept through an ansaphone message from LB offering to get her man (a VW mechanic) to have a look at the car to make sure it is 'safe' to run up and down the motorway! Rang her and said yes please cause I haven't a clue about cars although if the wheel did fall off it would make my 'claim' rather more powerful. So much for Exeter Ford calling me back today! . . . walked . . . PS popped round for chats till early. PCd briefly before bed only to have my virus try and connect and do things!!!! Daren't e-mail anyone!!!!! What to do?(3/10)pas
4 - Up late . . . walked . . .received a faxed copy of my original Exeter invoice in the mail but incomplete and only partially legible!!! LB ansaphoned to say her guy would have a quick look at the car this evening when he calls for her. . . balanced my chaotic accounts - eventually! Tried messing with the PC virus downloading patches and the like but made no headway!!!. . .Sis2 called to say she was safely at home . . . rang Exeter Ford and got them to agree I take the car in on Thursday . . . fell asleep for a few . . . LBs guy turned up and had a quick look around and drive in the car, but couldn't duplicate the vibration when accelerating and couldn't see anything wrong other than the misfire at idle!!!? I'm sure I'm not imagining it!!! . . . walked/spent a while programming up the new mobile phone/TVd. (3/10)pa
5 - Up late again after falling back asleep when Sally woke me . . . walked and Sally ran all over refusing to come back to me when I called!! . . . had to be done - skipped breakfast and took Sally in the car and drove to PC World at Cribbs Causeway and bought 'Mcafee VirusScan' for 24.99!!!! Briefly stopped in The Mall to shop a little - like a 'real' person! Filled the car with petrol like I can afford it! Car seems to be running better with time but DEFINITELY still some weird vibration on acceleration - maybe 'just' the misfire? . . . skipped dinner and spent hours on the PC with the antivirus software. I wasn't wrong -"Virus name PWS-gen.Hooker" - Trojan file. Deleted infected file KERNEL32.EXE and KDLL.DLL manualy!!! Think I'm all clear now - maybe!? . . . touched base with BB who's 'new' car had broken! Oh no!!!! . . . touched base with M/D, who had both been out walking to the local store, to confirm I was ok to pop down when I get the car sorted. . .walked . . . packed stuff up and headed down the motorway with Sally asleep in the back to M/Ds and arrived around 10pm. Installed myself and Sally in the garage. (3/10)paa
6 - Got up around 6am woken by the alarm on the mobile phone - marvellous machine. On the road by about 6:45 and drove the car to Exeter Ford. Dealt with by the service manager and furnished with a new Ford Ka courtesy car - sure drove nicely but what horrid styling! Stopped for petrol and then raced back to M/D and breakfasted and walked the dog. Sat around waiting and eventually fell asleep in the garage next to Sally for a few hours. Bid good luck to M/D who were picked up by a charity car and taken to Torbay hospital to see the oncology nurse that is gonna be dealing with Dad. Eventually got a call from the service manager saying it was taking longer than expected and they were pushed for time and how was I fixed for leaving it with them until tomorrow!! Joked about sleeping in the garage with a dog and hoping it wasn't gonna be too cold and said OK - what else could I say! Walked Sally down to the harbor and up the high street stoping at every estate agents window and looking at property prices. Picked up a couple of their property papers and found plenty of web adresses for future dreaming. Walked back and stopped in the friendly local pub with Sally for a half of lager. Called M/D on the mobile and they had just got home. Their meeting went all as expected with nothing much new apart from everything seems to be layed on for them and appointments and transport is all arranged for the future. Not bad. Chats and a bite to eat and eventually to bed in the sleeping bag on he floor of the garage.(3/10)p
7 - Up around 7:30am. Walked the dog all down 'Pooh Lane' and down onto the beach. Sally paddled and happily washed off all the mud she was covered in as I threw rocks for her to chase. Slipped on the rocks and almost fell over but just managed to avoid hitting the floor in the surf and only ended up with a wet foot and leg. Phew - had to laugh - must have looked funny. Squelched back to M/Ds and waited for a phone call from Exeter Ford as M/D walked down into Brixham to do shopping. Waited until gone midday before getting angry and calling them to ask what was going on. Service manager promised to ring back in ten minutes - over an hour later he called to say they were STILL working on the car and hadn't finished yet and that it would certainly be a couple of hours more but it would definitely be done today even if he had to stay personaly until 7pm to get it done for me! Grrrrr! Walked Sally down into town and briefly met up with M/D who seemed to be doing ok. Parted again and got a spare key cut for M/Ds front garage door and then set off back along the harbor and sea front - couldn't resist and stopped for a bag of chips and shared them with Sally on a seat overlooking the outer harbor and Torbay. Arrived back at M/Ds before they did. More waiting and eventually rang the garage again showing anger - service manager was not available so some YTS trainee type idiot not able to handle me said he'd call back. Eventually he did and said that I was good to pick the car up. At last!!! Set off for Exeter immediately. Lots of traffic - arrived about an hour later - service manager dealt with me himself and told me they had done this and that and gave me a copy of the service sheet - car had even just been cleaned - assured me everything was now all ok and bid me farewell with a handshake . . . Set off for M/D but extremely sensitive about what the car was doing - seemed to have no speed vibration so that is sorted. Pulled into a garage a few miles up the road and revved it and let the thing tick over - Oh NO!!! STILL 'hunting' as badly or worse than before, threatening to stall!! So, SO upset. Touched base with M/D asking for opinions as to what I should do now - Dad said enough is enough of the incompetents - drive away and sort it out elsewhere nearer home. Made sense but decided to go back to Exeter Ford anyway just to make sure they knew it was STILL not sorted! The service manager spotted me looking upset and avoided me and sent some senior mechanic(?) guy out to me. He drove the car round the block stopping at least half a dozen times (??) to see the hunting problem as though hoping it would syuddenly resolve itself! I waited as he took it into the workshop for a short time to see what he could do - he did nothing and finally handed the car back to me saying he was sure it was nothing they had done during the service and that they'd need time to test it properly to see what the problem was!!! Fucking useless idiots. Time to leave - I badly need my life back - and NEVER return to an official Ford franchise!
Will strongly recommend to EVERYONE I meet that they NEVER use an offical Ford franchise for servicing of their car ESPECIALLY - EXETER FORD, 9 Marsh Barton Road, Marsh Barton, Exeter EX2 8YA.
Stopped for petrol because the traffic was so bad and slow and finally got back to M/D after 7:30pm and had a bite to eat. Spent a while sorting some stuff out with Dad in the garage - refusing to take ALL of the stuff he was trying to give me because there simply wasn't room in the car. Eventually loaded everything up and said goodbyes and set off sometime after 9:45pm. Difficult drive home - mind wandering all over the place - but cruised a fair way at around 90mph the car going nicely at speed on empty motorways with Sally asleep in the back with her nose resting IN her food bowl! Made me laugh out loud. Home to the drunk-ridden 'ghetto' before midnight. Relaxed a little before bed reading the Devon paper property pages and dreaming a little but VERY tired. BB called to touch base - her car has been fixed all ok. Bed around 1am. (3/10)
8 - Up lateish woken by a neighbour scraping the ice off his car! Brrr . . . walked. Passing the school yard I spotted what looked like a dog lead laying on the floor!!? Walked the dog round the frost covered field in the sun, found another ball, then tied her to the railings on the way back, jumped the wall and ran over to what WAS a dog lead! A nice one. How weird - I now have a 'collection'!. . . tidied up, sorted stuff and bedding from M/Ds, did washing and chores etc. Looked at M/Ds broken vacuum and decided it was not 'that' broken and may be repairable IF I can buy a motor bearing shim from somewhere and maybe some new bushes. PCd briefly. Bloody anti-virus software slows everything down painfully!. . . walked Sally up Kingswood and stopped in the vets which was luckily open and asked about tick removal! The young girl receptionist acted all matter of fact and actually offered to show me how it was done there and then! Put a muzzle on poor old Sally and held her head firmly as the girl got a small plastic instrument and effortlessly 'unscrewed' the tick in a clockwise direction and held it up all proudly for me to see it was intact with it's legs all waving in the air!!! Eeeeeewwwwwwww! Very thankful and felt obliged to buy the plastic instruments and some anti flea/tick spray for future use but OUCH - how much!!! 20+!!! Wont buy that stuff ever again! . . . walked up the shops and bought some stamps and posted Sis1 birthday card and then sat around amongst the crowds with Sally occasionaly growling at people. Sally's previous owner showed up and elaborated on the text message she had sent me yesterday about how I was unwise to have a scan of the kennel club certificate on the website - something to do with registration numbers and people doing puppy pedigree type frauds?! Made sense I suppose. Witnessed an accident on the way home - wonder if the driver at fault was watching the guy and his 'well trained' german shepherd sitting at the kerb waiting to cross? Newish saloon car drove straight into the back of an old Range Rover with a weird 'V' shaped iron girder tow bar. The range rover seemed unscathed but the towbar had completely stoved in the whole front of the car - MUST have been a write off! Extrordinary. Offered to be a witness for the Rang rover driver but he seemed uninterested since he had no visible damage at all. Said how sorry I was about it all and walked off. Ruined that car drivers Christmas . . . phoned the cable company and eventually managed to get through and have some extra channels put back on for Christmas. Had to wait on the phone for about half an hour before I was dealt with!!! Disgusting service as usual! . . . TVd/fell asleep/walked Sally rather late in freezing temperatures/PCd chatting to BB till early - haven't done that for a while. (5/10)ps
9 - Up late when Sally ran out of patience and decided it was time I should get up! OH NO!!!!!!!!! Disaster in the garden!!!!! The pond has emptied!!!!!! Guess the old plastic liner has finally failed and almost all the water has drained away!!!!! A little water left in the bottom so hopefully some snails and whatever other life is in there will survive? To clear all that out and decide what is to be done is a BIG job!! Will have to wait - not up to doing that especially in this weather. Oh dear. . . walked Sally and the horny bitch let some dog mount her!!!!!!! Ran headlong at them shouting and threw the lead at them to break em up!! Oh jeeze - oh god , I hope they didn't have time to make puppies!!!! Seems like shit is happening quite a bit at the moment?!! . . . slept half the day away - schizoid and not in the mood to catch up on ansaphone messages or e-mails . . . just about to walk the dog and seek out some food and LB called and said she had a 'doggie bag' of left over roast dinner for me and Sally. Excellent - SO hungry! Walked Sally and popped up LBs and picked up my dinner - HUGE amounts as usual and all VERY appreciated . . . completely out of the blue LG called to touch base (first time in a year? I'd figured she was history and had no problem with that at all) and inform me of her news - she has breast cancer!!! Jeeze - shit seems to be happening all around - not sure what to do with it all - real strong desire to be alone for ages and work some stuff out! . . .BB called to touch base . . . TVd till early. (4/10)ps
10 - Up late again. Walked Sally ON the lead but a dog got wind of her from way across the field and ran over and had a go at mounting her!!!!! Slipped and lost hold of her lead and ended up chasing her all over the field when she refused to come back!!! She's gonna be the death of me - heart attack running or something! Walked her back home safely but she didn't do her poop!!! Uh oh. Think I am not gonna walk her over that field for a while - things are getting out of control - like it or not she is gonna HAVE to use the yard at some point!!! Grrrrrrr . . .took Sally in the car and went shopping!! Felt strange driving about again after all this time - like I'm really not allowed to!? Popped in a vacuum repair place only to be told you cant get spares for M/Ds old vacuum - such a shame - only a stupid little part needed! Terrible throw away world . . . drove to Asda at Longwell Green like I used to but wow was it crowded and it didn't feel 'homely' at all. Stocked up on huge amounts of dog food to see me through the next month or so. . .touched base with CW who revealed she has FINALLY been offered a redundancy package and will be leaving work around Christmas!! Good to hear some good news from someone for a change! . . . finally sorted out a small box and popped round the post office and posted card and stuff for BBs birthday . . .napped for a couple . . .touched base with M/D. The trip to Exeter hospital had all gone smoothly and Dads clear plastic 'mask' had been made up for his future radiotherapy treatments. Still seemed optomistic/accepting of his fate . . . PS popped round for chats till early. Finally walked the dog briefly after midnight when all was quiet with no problems. Couldn't sleep and was up till after 3am!! (4/10)ps
11 - Woken by Sally climbing on the bed but managed to go back to sleep. Finally got up as Sally demanded VERY late around 11am!!! No morning walk! . . .finally got around to fitting the PIR unit to the front of the house linked to the above the door light. Lots of fiddley but eventually all connected and working okish. . . fell asleep for a few hours after food . . . TVd/found excuses to go into the front garden to activate the light! . . . PCd . . . walked Sally carefuly over the field around midnight . . . couldn't sleep until the early hours! (4/10)p
12 - Woken by Sally climbing on the bed again! Outside light goes on during the day aswell now! Ooops. Needs setting up more carefuly. Adjusted it and slapped a little paint on the drilled filled area where the wires go through the wall to keep the weather out . . . thought maybe this year I'd put the decorations up so popped up into the attic and got all the christmas decorations down but quickly ran out of steam and ended up with the artificial Christmas tree on top of the TV without any branches on - a bare trunk! Kinda sums up how I feel about it all. . . took Sally in the car and drove across town to Ashton Court for a walk around the woods - because I could! Still feel 'guilty' about driving anywhere - in fact feel guilty about something or other most of the time really!? It's hard being happy when you're not . . . Stopped for a Miss millies chicken take away meal on the way home. Ate and immediately fell asleep. . . touched base with Sis1 who sounded unhappy!? She confirmed that it looked as though her relationship with her man was over!!! MORE bad news!!! Jeeze!! . . . Some strange thinking - really strong urge to find some place in the middle of nowhere to live and become a full time schizoid hermit!?? . . . TVd/walked around midnight/TVd/PCd till ridiculously early! (4/10)ps
13 - Woken far too early after only a few hours sleep by the electricity meter reader calling at the door and Sally doing her guard dog act - tried to get back to sleep and a catalogue delivery driver who knows I am usually at home called asking me to accept some packages for a house opposite -. tried to get back to sleep and the woman from the house opposite called asking for her parcels!! Gave up trying to sleep and TVd. Sis1 called in for a coffee and chats and took away all the sleeping stuff I'd borrowed for sleeping in the garage at M/Ds. Some difficult conversations about M/D, family, stuff, this and that - like what the hell do I know about anything - ESPECIALLY relationships!! Was the fact that her man had NOT sent her a birthday card 'normal' after a three year relationship? Seemed perfectly normal and understandable to me! When it's over it's over - totally and completely!!! Apparantly that isn't right?WhadoIknow! . . . tired and fed up! Finished putting up my meagre christmas decorations . . . walked/PS popped round for chats till early - actually joined him in a couple of glasses of wine and finished off a bottle I've had open in the cupboard for ages - first 'drink' in a while - seemed to work and lighten my mood. Touched base with BB who has some good news about a job offer. Blimey - someone with some good news!! . . . just trying to get to sleep around 2:30am and some guy in the street seemed suspicious - sat on the pavement up the road apparantly trying to break a bottle? Watched as he walked off down the road and then came back up a while later?? Very weird/suspicious! Couldn't resist getting up and dressed and walking Sally around the block to see if something was 'up'. No sign of him or any problems so eventually back to bed around 3am.(3/10)pds
14 - Wow - up gone 11am!!!! Loads of sleep! Poor old hungry Sally although she seems quite happy to have had a lie in. Received some xmas cards in the post . . . drew up a list and spent what seemed like most of the day writing out christmas cards!?? Imagine how long it would take if I actually knew some people!! . . . left Sally behind listening to BBC radio 2 and walked up the shops and bought more cards! Gave blood - things have changed - excellent that they no longer insist on you sitting around for ages 'recovering' - was up, drinking coffee and munching a biscuit, and then outa there smoking a cigarette within minutes of the hole in my arm being plugged . . . Shopped. . . TVd/walked/TVd?PCd - got one of those ridiculous spam e-mail things from "From: francis oko <francisoko@yahoo.com> Greetings,I am Francis Oko, Bank Manager of
" etc. Copied it to Yahoo highlighting the mail abuse. (3/10)ps
15 - Woken at least once and then up late again . . . posted the rest of the cards I have to post and carefully walked Sally over the field . . . TVd/PCd and snoozed a while as I downloaded Internet Explorer 6 and a security patch - guess I'd better try and keep things up to date-ish. . .popped up LB and chopped off some of the branches of her 'too large for the bucket' Christmas tree . . .surfed properties in Brixham dreaming about moving - but only dreaming . . . TVd/walked. Feels like I am getting to know Sally better now and her me - she makes me laugh . . . PCd briefly before early to bed feeling exhausted.(4/10)p
16 - Up around 9am!!! Nine hours sleep and still tired? Guess I'm definitely in winter hibernation mode - funny how it affects me like that. . .PCd a little and tried to polish off my missing journal entries from a couple of weeks ago but couldn't!? Very painful thinking about it all - NOT for the obvious reasons!! More to do with (-/content removed post 19th April 03 /-) than anything else - it was a hellish experience - that will have to be repeated!! I can't help but feel that (as far as I am concerned) great damage has been done to the fragile threads that bind this 'family' together. Who I have become and why seems more clear!!! . . . TVd/napped/TVd/walked - popped in the shop across the field for milk and got told by some store detective type guy who could hardly speak english "Za dog ees vorbidden!". Reassured him I wouldn't be back! . . . PCd/TVd till early. (4/10)ps
17 - Up late . . . walked Sally down through Conham and along the River Avon walk at Hanham - icey hand of winter has a grip . . . ate and slept for a few hours . . . M/D called to touch base. Confirmed they wanted a nice quiet christmas and said I may pop down just for a few hours sometime, maybe boxing day. . . TVd/walked/went for a kebab/PCd and actually spent an hour or so reading some heavy stuff I bumped into whilst looking up Dad illness stuff! Tear inducing stuff! . . .TVd some more till early and then read a little of 'The Tibeten Book Of Living and Dying' till sleep.(4/10)p
18 - Up late after ten hours sleep! Messed around with a silly festive gif for the index page . . . M/D called to say the latest hospital appointment and x-rays and such had gone all ok and quickly. They also said Sis1 was back on with her man - again! Sis1 called to touch base and seemed happier about the decisions she had made about her man and such like . . . touched base with BB and wished her happy birthday . . . TVd/walked/TVd the rest of the day away.(4/10)ps
19 - Drove Sally to Snuff Mills and walked her along the river through Oldbury Court Estate - pleasant, especially not having to walk all the way back afterwards. BB called to touch base . . . napped for a couple of hours before woken by Sally barking her guard dog act. Feelin rather down . . .TVd/ walked/PS popped round for chats till early. . . couldn't sleep - so didn't!(3/10)ps
20 - Eventually grabbed a couple of hours mid morning until Sally decided I should be awake at this hour!! . . . walked and then walked down the doctors to drop in the repeat perscription form - should be available before midday Monday - bet there will be one hell of a queue at the chemist!! Fighting a very dodgy down mood! . . . more sleep despite Sally barking on and off at who knows what! Woke feeling 'better' . . . walked and then watched a TV program all about people living with impending death! Topical!!! . . . (3/10)p
21 - Walked . . .drove with Sally to Asda to get some more dog food and bits and pieces - nightmare!! People and traffic all over - Asda car park basically full with people waiting for spaces! Found a space pretty quick and shopped! Dreadfully busy - very glad to get outa there! Filled up with petrol on the way out. . . just missed witnessing an accident at the nasty junction on the way home. Impossible to figure out what happened from the position the smashed up cars were in - people sitting on the pavement waiting for ambulances and such. Another reminsder to convince me that driving defensively and slowly at the moment is the best way to go - that and the fact that I am driving on Dad's insurance still despite the implications of his illness - must check to make sure I AM still covered!!! . . . got the bus into town and went to my clinic appointment. Doctor seemed to think that things weren't so bad, more freezing was unnecessary and that nothing else was to be done so just live with it was the 'agreed' conclusion! Hmm!? Got away from the seething crowds in town and got the slow bus straight home!! Dreadful, dreadful time of year! . . .slept the stress headache off for a couple of hours . . . next door neighbour called at the door and gave me a couple of bottles of wine they'd been given for Xmas that they dont drink - nice one. . . walked/TVd/PCd till early. Feel 'sombre' and reclusive.(3/10)pa
22 - Woken late by Sally demanding a snuggle . . .walked/TVd/slept/TVd/walked/TVd and didn't answer the phone. . . PCd chatting to BB. Noise outside of drunks, so stood with Sally in the bedroom and watched out of the window. PIR triggered the security light and I watched as a group of at least half a dozen drunks loudly passed by and one kicked in the passenger door of my car - with his mates saying shouting out "Shawn" in disaproval!!!!! ran outside with Sally, who promptly chased off after one of LBs cats, calling Shawn and had a confrontation with me abusively asking if he was gonna pay for the damage and saying he should come back down and let me call the police. I grabbed his shirt front as he backed away tearing open all the buttons. He took his shirt off and came at me. I ducked and was surprised to still be conscious as he only hit the back of my head inneffectively. Surrounded by the group and like the coward I am I said that was it and retreated into the house to call the police. Realised Sally was missing so grabbed the mobile phone, dog lead and house keys and rushed back up the road. Found Sally in LBs garden with the gate pulled to - one of the group must have shut her in while I was being scared. Some guard dog!Gotta laugh. Got her on the lead and headed off up the road after the group. The group seemed to fragment and various different people seemed to be stood at various different hedges having a pee in the dark and - well - somehow I lost track of which one was Shawn!!! IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Followed a group I 'thought' he was in, shaking like a leaf, while making conversation with the 999 number call person who said units were on their way. The group went into the crowded kebab shop but by this stage I was totally unsure who was who - I'd blown it. Police arrived and were very nice but of course were powerless to do anything much without a description that I was unable to give, but promised to return later and take a statement if I liked for insurance/crime stat purposes. . . walked Sally back home. Whole car door is stoved in badly . . . cried a fair bit . . . police arrived and politely took a statement from the red eyed weird guy - but of course all pointless. Shit happens - but why always me/my car? I think - on balance - I'm tired of all this. Happy fucking christmas to me. . . couldn't sleep - too much replaying of the events and elliciting the emotional response all night. Kicking myself that I screwed up and didn't get the guy caught! Pretty upset. PCd till morning. (2/10)pssss
23 - Finally managed to drop off around 8am!! . . . woken around 11:30 by Dad calling asking if I wanted stuff he was throwing away from his garage. Reluctantly told M/D the 'good' news about the car! They did a 'Move down here!' number on me. . . small swelling and bruising behind my left ear - ouch! How oh how do such people actually TRY to hit someone elses head with all the force they can muster? Such an act is TOTALY alien to me! I don't belong amongst such people other than as a punchbag - and I'm tired of being that!!! Not sure what I feel, which I think isn't a good thing! What was the name of that film with Michael Douglas where he was tipped over the edge and went on a shooting spree as he walked home - I'm in the mood to watch that one! . . .wanted to force myself to use the car but couldn't so walked Sally down Conham Vale to the river Avon. Found a purple button on the floor by LBs gate - I get a punch to the head, a car devalued by several hundred pounds and all that guy loses is a purple shirt button! Don't seem too fair really! . . As I entered the car park at Conham vale a trio of off road (not street legal) motorcyclists were assembled by a white van. Surely not - not THERE!!!! But yes - as I walked Sally along the river and open spaces they were roaring around in the woods and along the cyclepath and all around! Very tempted to call the police but figured they weren't really worth the effort - that is until returning to the car park I spotted the white van I assumed they had arrived in - road tax had expired 8 months ago!! Bastards. In true Michael Douglas/transference style I called the local police on the mobile and reported it! Over half an hour later one of the motorcyclists appeared and roared off up the road - no numbers, tax, insurance, etc, etc!!! An hour later the police still hadn't turned up?? Figured it just wasn't worth their bother - headed off on the long icey walk home absolutely freezing but couldn't resist phoning the police again just to see what they had to say. The control centre said they'd put me through - two minutes later and the phone was still ringing unanswered so I gave up in complete disgust! Dunno what to make of it all!!! . . . slept after taking tablets for a headache. Woken by PS leaving an ansaphone message . . .Uncle TJ phoned to touch base and say happy Xmas and all . . . PS popped round for chats till early. (3/10)pas
24 - Got a Xmas card in the post from RJ+K - customised with my name on it!!? Made me laugh. Blimey - and an e-mail from DS with an Amazon gift voucher!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! . . . walked and then walked down to the doctors and picked up my prozac perscription - different make prozac but I guess it'll be the same? . . . had a go at taking the car door panel off and beating out the dent - actually went pretty well - still noticeable but rather less so - lucky! Figured the dent in my head would take care of itself!! Took Sally and drove the car - not because I had anywhere to go but just because I felt I needed to drive it - because I didn't want to! Felt ok. Drove up onto Tog Hill for a brief dog walk. . . slept for a few hours. Sis1/BB called to touch base as did DH who said she'd bought me a turkey!!!! Apparantly they were practically being given away by the shop for 2 because of how late in the day it was - all well and good but I have no oven so I said thanks but no thanks. DH offered to cook it for me!!!!? Loads of hassle - feel very guilty! I really have no idea how to deal with people being nice to me at all - just feel guilty and endebted and don't know what to do about it!!! . . . reclusive. . . Sis2 called to say happy xmas. Briefly felt 'ok' with things - Xmas spirit in the air I guess. . . stayed up till early waiting in case the turkey was gonna be delivered by SH as suggested but no show. (4/10)pass
25 - Woken before 9am by Sally jumping on the bed for a snuggle. . . BAH HUMBUG!! :o) . . .walked . . . got in the car and drove to Yate to deliver a tin of chocolates to my neice in "it's your uncle Ebineezer" style. Uh oh - couldn't find the place!! Called Sis1 on the mobile and got directions - arrived and made embarassed small talk for five minutes and then left after introducing Sally to KM who was favoured by not being growled at?! . . . decided to head for Sis1 at her mans place in Chipping Sodbury but rediculously ended up getting lost and driving all over the place - eventually got there and rang her on the mobile only to find they had left and were on their way back to her place!! Popped into Sis1 briefly to drop off tins of chocolates and then headed home in case S/DH were gonna drop by with the turkey. . . slept for a couple of hours and woke just in time to leave Sally behind and drive back to Sis1 for dinner. Very nice food and loads of it and all left overs donated to me and Sally. Pleasant chats but eager to get back home to Sally and be home, alone. . . S/DH popped by and dropped off the turkey which I just pushed straight into the fridge without even unwrapping it - eaten enough for today!! . . . walked . . . TVd watching slushy stuff and then bumped into a film with Jack Nicholson and Helen Hunt called "As Good As It Gets" - brilliant, BRILLIANT film! Wonder what the life story is of whoever wrote that! (4/10)pd
26 - Up later than I had intended but after only about four hours sleep!!. . . walked . . . drove down to Brixham to see M/D. Quite busy roads but ok and nice views of a sprinkling of snow on the tops of the hills of Dartmoor. Arrived and quickly installed Sally safely in the garage - she seemed to remember - presumably the nice walks and seemed all strange and waggy tailed?. . . M/D seemed 'ok' but Mums leg, that they had mentioned on the phone had flared up unexpectedly after all these years following her varicous veign surgery, was BAD!! Very bad and painful - bright scarlet! She could hardly walk on it!!!! What on earth is going on - just when they have no transport and need to be able to walk around everywhere to do shopping and such, THIS happens!!!! Sis1 and her man soon arrived but Sis1 was having a bad day and was upset she had forgotten to bring the present she had for M/D - I was upset I had forgotten to bring annadin tablets for the inevitable stresss headache! Luckily Sis1 HAD remembered that necessity and obliged me with a couple. M/D had laid on a bit of a spread so we all sat down and ate loads. Not sure who was in more pain - Mum struggling to get around and wait on us, refusing any offers of assistance, or us having to witness it and just sit there being waited upon!!!! Painful - some arguing about how she SHOULD go see the doctor and not just wait and see if it gets better!!! So weird how they act as though they haven't a right to call the doctor out!! Grrrrrr. . . took Dad in the car and he showed me where Berry Head was. Both walked the dog but felt awkward because Dad couldn't see quite properly and of course refused any help. Amazing views over the cliffs and along the coast as we walked around the ruins of the huge old Napoleonic fort and along to the strange small lighthouse. Busy with lots of people walking off their Christmas excesses. Definitely a place to visit again with Sally - but in warmer weather! . . . drove back and then overcome with the need to lie down for a while and try and shift my headache. Bit rude but slept on M/Ds sofa bed for a couple of hours!! Eventually felt much better for having done so. . . all touched base with Sis2 by phone. . . set off for home around 9pm with bits and pieces and the three quarters full bottle of wine that Sis1 had left behind. Filled up with gas. Listened to some old cassette I'd thrown in there that I haven't heard for years and rather enjoyed the fast drive home and was kinda sad to have to stop when I arrived around 11pm. . . TVd and drank a couple of glasses of red wine which went straight to my head!! Lightweight! Ended up feasting on Sis1 left overs around midnight!! . . .touched base with BB before bed. (4/10)paad
27 - Woken by Sally climbing onto the bed and leaving me little room. . .PCd but the website was down so couldn't do a thing! . . .walked . . . ate Sis1 left overs and then fell asleep all afternoon!! . . . TVd and relaxed into watching an old favourite western - "El Dorado" - excellent/classic . . . walked but a big crowd of kids and police cars near the school!! Over the field a kid was stood in the shadows near the poop scoop bin watching the police car so it seemed. Sally did her devil dog act on him to such an extent that it seemed clear he was oozing fear or something. Figured he must be something to do with what the police were there for - when the police car moved from the road and drove into the school grounds he started off in the opposite direction! Walked back to the school and stood around for ages before managing to find the police - told them what I'd seen and gave them a concise description of what he was wearing and where he was heading but they clearly couldn't care less and gave me a line about how it is always the same kids. Infuriating - they could have caught him if they'd wanted to. Dunno what is wrong with the world! . . . PS popped round for chats till early. . . PCd briefly before bed. Just stroking Sally and saying goodnight when I spotted what I think was a flea!!! Uggg - the delights of owning a dog!! Itched all over before sleep! (4/10)ps
28 - Woken by Sally barking as a xmas card from SA was delivered by the postman . . .walked and found yet another throwy dog toy someone had lost. Very windy! Disaster with the poop scooping - used an old carrier bag and the wind caught it and -well - I ended up covered in Sally poop!!!!!! Eww, ewwwww, ewwwwwwww!! Spent the rest of the day washing clothes and having a shower and then doing more washing of duvet cover and such! . . . did a 'gentle' exploratory on the pond and shoveled out some of the earth and stones to find the leak - I found it. Seems like the ground has settled under the pond and part of it has dropped, stressing and fracturing the fibre glass. Awfull muddy buisness - think I'll leave it for better weather and maybe try and buy a liner to put in on top of the existing?M/D called to touch base . . . TVd/walked . . . had another decadent/unhealthy meal of just loads of cold turkey with plenty of salt followed by shortbread biscuits and then chocolates . . .PCd but not for long - so, so tired - relatively early to bed but then bumped into Bill Bailey on TV doing a stand up routine so had to watch that before sleep around 1am. (3/10)ps
29 - At some point Sally ended up sleeping on the bed next to me!! Getting into bad habits but I couldn't bring myself to turf her off so ended up sleeping in a narrow edge of the bed!!! Spoiled dog! . . . eventually up around 8:30am and Sally was sick in the bedroom!!!!!!!!!!poor little woofer acted as though she had done something wrong and was gonna be punished!!! Oh no!!!!!! Morning sickness??? SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! . . .sprinkling of snow on the cars outside. . .walked . . .Uncle TJ called asking if I minded them giving - um - who was it? - my web address. . . spent a while removing all the meat from the turkey and then decided to boil up the bones to make a meal for Sally. Boiled it all for ages before taking all the bones out and then mixing in some dry dog mixer . . . fell asleep for about four hours or more!!!!! . . . fed Sally her turkey concoction which went down rather well so it seemed. . . walked. Todays episode from 'Schizoid Death Wish Vigilante' - walking back from the field I saw a car driving without lights across the school grounds! Probably stolen and due for being burnt out after the joyriders had finished ploughing up the football field!!! Called the police on the mobile and reported it - the controler said several people had already phoned in reports! So where were the police? VERY tempted to walk over the field and have a confrontation but discretion being the better part of valour and absolutely certain that I and dog would have been knocked over (pathetic way to die) , I walked back along the main road and down past the fire station to get a look over the bottom of the field. Sure enough a car was being thrown around all over the place in the distance ploughing up the grass with a group of kids cheering them on!!! Watched for ages and then saw a police car driving by so flagged them down and recomended they drive round to the road which lead to the field. They did so but by the time they reached the car with their lights on, all the 'kids' had safely gotten away!! Infuriating!!! Well - at least they didn't have time to burn the car although I guess the owner would probably be better off if they had! Do I REALLY need any more 'incidents' to convince me I should look to move?!! NO thank you - but I need time! . . . BB called to touch base . . . TVd. (4/10)p
30 - Very cold out. . . walked and couldn't resist having a look in the school playing field to see what there was to see. All the football pitches were ploughed up with loads of tyre tracks and down the bottom of the field were loads of car wheels and a burned out car but not the one from last night! Must be a regular occurance there I guess. Also lying in the grass partially wrecked was the remains of an expensive mountain bike - the type that has suspension and loads of gears!! What a waste - if you are gonna steal something, at least make use of it and not just ruin it!!! Dear oh dear . . . balanced my accounts as best I could but some confusion over my phone bill - looks like they have debited less than the amount on the bill? Tried ringing Telewest Broadband but only succeeded in getting put on hold - carried on doing my accounts while waiting but gave up after an hour!!! An HOUR!!!! Bloody disgraceful way to treat customers - e-mailed them and told them so for what it was worth . . . ate a huge pile of cold turkey and stuffing sandwhiches and fell asleep for the rest of the afternoon . . . walked without incident/TVd/ate cold turkey, stuffing and chips . . . PCd briefly but in a funny 'quiet' mood and soon went to bed. (4/10)p
31 - Very cold again - popped a thermometer out on a garden chair on the patio and got -4 degrees celcius!!! . . .walked down the river Avon for a few hours in the sun and the frost and played with cameras and took some shots and then accosted a poor kid and got him to take one of me and Sally. Brrrrrrr! - but not a bad way to end the year I guess. Sally did a devil dog act on a horse eating grass in a field on the way back!!! Far too exciting to come back when called - she almost got kicked into the vets! Lucky escape . . .PCd the pics . . .took Sally in the car and went to the pet supply store and boughts some chewy treats and doggie chocolates and ended up spending 25!!!!!!!! Lucky spoiled dog! . . . dropped in D/SH for chats and a coffee and returned the turkey plate. Some talk about SH maybe selling his Olympus SLR camera and lenses for 30 because he has a new one - said I WAS interested. . . back home finished off the last of the turkey with chips. . . walked but SO cold out (below -4c) even Sally seemed eager to get back home!! . . . smoked and drank and TVd the rest of the night away. BIG fireworks and noise at midnight - stood in the front garden with Sally for a while watching the mayhem. Touched base with BB/Sis2/Sis1/M/D(who both seemed rather unwell with coughs and Mums leg still very bad!! Felt silly saying happy new year cause it clearly wont be!!!) I felt briefly somewhat quiet amidst the mayhem outside. . . definitely a bit tipsy and to bed in the early hours. Another one bites the dust.(4/10)psssd